Beauty, Judging

Kim Kardashian’s Body

I know all bodies are beautiful and everyone carries weight differently. I know that humans come in many different shapes and sizes and that we’re all special in our own way.tumblr_mjmh5af5ue1qcuv78o1_500

That being said, there is something so disturbing about Kim Kardashian’s pregnant body. As if her regular body isn’t scary enough.

It’s hard to look cute when pregnant, I get it. But this girl literally looks deformed. I don’t think this was the intended design for the human body. Why doesn’t she just take all of her money and go on an extended vacation during the entirety of her pregnancy where the paparazzi can’t find her. She would feel more relieved, my eyes would feel better, and Kanye wouldn’t have to be super embarrassed of his girlfriend.

Only a body that Kanye could love. I hope their future child, Kjesus Khrist Kardashian West, is nice and cozy in his mom’s stomach…or butt. Or wherever it’s being held hostage. kim-kanye-west-kardashian-new-years-kiss-2013



46 thoughts on “Kim Kardashian’s Body

  1. Everything on her looks droopy. Her ass, her stomach, and even her chin. You can make fun of her because she makes more money than most people will in a lifetime and all she did was have a scumbag lawyer father who made enough scumbag lawyer moves so she could make a sex tape with a scumbag cheating football player. Her life is full of terrible people. At least she rid the world of Paris Hilton. We’re about due for someone new to come along. Are there any Kennedy kids in their mid-20s? What about Bin Laden’s?

    • Yeah, she’s too easy to make fun of though. It’s almost stupid when people make fun of the Kardashians because it’s been done so many times. But they’re just too fascinating. It does gross me out that she made a sex tape though. She’s probably a crazy porn addict. I should spread some rumors. People would be super upset by this awful news.

  2. Peaches says:

    dayum…I was actually thinking she looked pretty good, especially for being pregnant. I’m particularly fond of the voracity with which she uses the word “like”, but I thought physically she was fine enough.

    • I mean, she looks pretty good, sure. It’s just that her butt is taking over the world. And Kim prides herself on being perfect, and now that she’s pregnant, she’s definitely not. But, she probably has huge hips so she’ll have a comfortable pregnancy I’m sure!

  3. unfetteredbs says:

    Dear Lily.
    Thank you. I never laugh out loud as much as I do when I read your blog. You are wonderful. I thought seeing that picture in black and white was vomitus maximus but seeing it in color– GAG. I think her entire face is going to be sucked into his lips. Quite a pucker.
    I fear for that child. I really do, in all seriousness.

    • I really should have dedicated this post to you because you were the inspiration! I was actually partial to the black and white pic, but wordpress wouldn’t let me transfer it on her from an email. Super annoying! But I think everyone gets the idea!
      I’m glad I made you laugh! That’s the ultimate compliment! I fear for that child as well…I wouldn’t want to have those genes…

  4. erinorange says:

    Haha, I was thinking about all these extra tight outfits celeb ‘baby mommas’ wear, how are they all not just sitting at home gorging?!

  5. At least she’s got that badnk to balance out the baby belly. If/when I get pregnant, my belly is only going to call attention to my nonexistent ass. I fear for my balance as well as my appearance.

    • This is a good point. I too have no junk in the trunk. I’m pretty sure I have no trunk as well. I have bad balance already, so I assume you and I will be bedridden for our entire pregnancies…which actually isn’t such a bad idea….!

    • I know! I should’ve tagged you in that island part, because that was really your idea. I stole it. Her body is so fascinating. I haven’t seen a good picture of her body. She’s got a good face, but her body just scares me so much.

  6. It is frightening. I want to tell her there are such things as maternity clothes. She may want to retire or put away some of her “party while at the gas pump” outfits and hit Pea in a Pod or Motherhood Maternity ASAP!

    • Hahah so true! Her outfit isn’t exactly what I would picture for a woman expecting a baby. But I guess when you have millions of dollars you can do whatever you want?

    • I know, I know. It’s one of life’s great mysteries. A wonder of the world even. Maybe we should put all of them in a time capsule so we can remember them years later (and cross our fingers that they die in there).

    • Hahah omg that’s actually a really good idea. And I think her family would approve too. Anything where she can be the center of attention is good with that family.

  7. She looks like she’s about to take a piss into that blue receptacle. Is she actually a tranny?
    I haven’t seen the sex tape so I won’t rule it out, not with film making technology as it is. My partner works on film and someone spends weeks in post production covering up Angeline Jolie’s veiny hands, so they can easily disguise KK’s schlong.

    • Hah omg you’re right. We should spread a rumor that she has a peen. How embarrassing for her. Maybe she was just making love to herself in the sex tape too! Wow I feel like we really stumbled onto something here.

  8. Hahahaha. Yes. Seriously.
    I mean, MAYBE it would help she wore MATERNITY clothes. It would help to camouflage it a bit. Right now, she’s BEGGING for her ill-shapen body to be noticed. More spandex, please?

    • Right?! Maternity clothes would be a good place to start when you’re pregnant. Or one would assume so at least. Why is she even out and about? I would use my pregnancy as an excuse to do absolutely nothing!

  9. Pete Howorth says:

    What is this Kim Kardashian even famous for? Is she a singer or something or is she famous because her dads famous like Paris Hilton? This girl I know (the girl whose house I threw up outside last weekend) is obsessed with these cretins. She went to London just to catch a glimpse of these beasts and didn’t end up seeing them so I had to hear about it for days.

    Then there’s her sisters that are only famous because she’s famous. They’re all ugly, deformed, idiots. It’s madness. I was hit in the face by Coolio once, where’s my TV deal?

    • I love that the UK is totally left out of the whole Kardashian fad. So amazing. Do you remember the OJ Simpson trials? Kim’s dad (who’s dead now) was on OJ’s legal team to get him off. So their dad is someone who helped a murderer. Check one. Kim made a sex tape with rapper and brother of singer Brandy, Ray J. She did it because she knew “it would make her famous.” Her words, not mine. Check two. Kim also used to organize closets for celebrities because she has extreme OCD. She used to be friends with Paris. By chance one of the TV stations gave their family a reality show and the rest was history. I don’t know why I know so much about the background story, but I hate myself for it.

      You were hit by Coolio? That’s amazing. I bet you never washed your face again 😉

      • Pete Howorth says:

        Well I was going to hit him back but he had 20 black dudes and I had one female screaming fan. =/

        I think the Kardies are pretty famous over here, after all the place they visited when they were here was rammed and caused a lot of commotion and hassle. But I can’t see why though. Maybe I should sleep with Coolio and improve my social standing.

  10. Maybe you can clarify this picture of her for me…she is pregnant, I get that; but where is she carrying the baby, the front or the back of her body? Or is her head on backwards? I’m confused…her butt and her belly look kinda the same.

    • Haha I know right? How disturbing. From the pictures, it looks like the baby should be housed in her butt because it’s more roomy. She’s just a very odd shape now and I love bringing attention to it.

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