Exercise, Hockey

Sledge Hockey

He's doing a good job of pretending he likes being attached to a sled.

If you live in Canada, you have no excuse not to play hockey. Even if you don’t have legs, this country will find a way for you to play hockey. I present to you, sledge hockey.

I saw a commercial ( Have you noticed that the only way I find out info is from TV? I’M SO EMBARRASSED! Not.) with people playing sledge hockey. At first I laughed, because that’s what I do when I see something weird or different. I immediately make fun of it. But then I realized that these people are handicapped and just trying to have some fun. They’re probably having more fun than I am sitting in front of the TV.

I think sledge hockey has different rules than regular hockey. I would look them up and tell you the differences, but that means I would have to look up the generic rules to hockey just to understand the sledge hockey rules. And I refuse to do that.  So just trust me when I say they’re different.

Interesting fact: in the United States, we refer to it as sled hockey. This makes more sense because the players are on little sleds. It snowed while I was in Canterbury, England (England shuts down when it snows. People literally do not know how to function. It’s bordering on retarded behavior.) and I remember that everyone wanted to go “sledging.” My response was always, “Whaaa?” “Come again?” or the ever-popular “Ew.”

So now I’m totally buggin. If cappers (handicapped people) can play hockey, then I seriously need to get into some sort of sport. I feel like I don’t have many options besides running in circles. Team sports terrify me. I hate the idea that others are depending on me. Any ideas would be appreciated. Any bad ideas earn you a virtual kick to the groin.


23 thoughts on “Sledge Hockey

  1. My sister and I saw this when we were really young and thought it was the funniest thing ever. We started crawling on our asses trying to play it.

    There’s a spot in the hockey hall of fame for sled hockey. It’s located in a back corner away from everything else near a dark emergency exit. I took a couple of pictures of it out of respect.

  2. Lisa says:

    hahahaha! This is so totally funny! Just the idea that Canadians will find a way for you to play hockey, amuses me. Also, “sledge” is such a puzzling word. Two things come to mind, Sister Sledge – a disco group from the 70’s, and a sledge hammer, which I have no reference for. Let’s be clear, Santa flies around on a sled, not a SLEDGE.

  3. Marya says:

    Please don’t even think about picking up a new sport in your adult years. Your hand-eye-coordination has been put on the back burner. How do I know this? A few years ago, I thought I would “get into tennis.” What an absolute disaster. I lost friends and the respect of my family members over my “tennis game.” The tennis club put me in a doubles groups on Tuesday mornings with the senior citizens. One old man had just recovered (or not) from a brain aneurism and could still play better then me.
    Stick to blogging and being cute and funny…please.
    And yes Lisa…the word “sledge” references itself to the famed, disco group “Sister Sledge.”

      • Adair You says:

        We can all walk about in the cute outfits, with our clubs (?) Sticks(?) whatever, on our shoulders and spritz our faces so we have the glow of having played. As Criss Angel will tell you, it is all in the illusion.

        PS Marya, you made me laugh.

  4. Hockey is a bit of a girly sport really so you should be fine playing it.

    England shutting down when it snows is fantastic – it means I get two or three days off work and can sit on the Internet all day doing nothing but turn the heating up.

    Sledging gets boring after twenty minutes though.

  5. Marya says:

    Lily – you give me too much credit for having a fashionable outfit for tennis. As the years went on in my so called tennis experience the outfits morphed into cute, but it was a rough go at the beginning. I couldn’t find an all white tennis soled shoe (a requirement at the club) when I started playing. I went to Wal*Mart and the only tennis shoes I could find for my size 12 feet were ones seen in an assisted living center: all white, large rounded toe and two velcro straps. I tripped over my shoes one day on the court during a drill. Two of my children were on the court and witnessed their 5’11” framed mother crash. They paused, paused some more and then mumbled…”Mom, do you need help?” I’m so done with tennis. And Adair You, thanks for the compliment. I’m giggling over the spritz-ing to create the “faux-glow” while wearing a totally LuLu Lemon outfit at the tennis club.

    • Lisa says:

      I’m feeling the pain here, both physical and emotional. Playing tennis in front of people is such a vulnerable act, especially when your physically challenged.

    • Adair says:

      I’m game if you are! Let me study up on the proper terms and get over this ‘Leaving the house makes me want to throw up!” thing, and I’m there!

  6. Becoming Bitter says:

    Ooo I have a sport we could play!

    Stick the knife in the asshole.

    It’s loads of fun and I’ve done it many times.

    The best part is that there is always a new asshole to play with.

  7. natalie says:

    omg it just hit me how Lisa comes up with all these words on WWF! Sledge is going to haunt me isn’t it? Kind of like Qi. ahhhhhhh!

  8. I play Sledge Hockey and I love it! It is a great sport, and great exercise (the only form of exercise some people can get. It is my favorite adaptable sport…and as a matter of fact, it does have the same rules as regular ice hockey! The only major difference is that you play in sledges and that. Also, the penalty box is level with the ice surface, making it easier to meanouver. Sledge hockey is challenging, but a lot of fun!

    • Haha I totally forgot that I wrote about this! That’s so great that you really enjoy it. I wish I knew how to balance on skates. Maybe this is a good alternative for me? Seems like a really good ab workout! Thanks for commenting!

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