Dear Madonna, Please Stop.

Casual pose.

After watching the Super Bowl Half Time show, I have to say that I’ve had enough of Madonna. I mean, I had had enough of her before then, but now I’ve really had enough.

First of all, I don’t know what the big deal is about Madonna. She had a handful of hits in the 80’s and people think she’s like a music icon. It’s hard for me to decide which version of Madonna is most disturbing–80’s Madonna, the Madonna of today, or the Madonna that made out with Britney Spears.

Madonna’s daughter Lourdes will live in her mother’s enormous shadow for the rest of her life and will most likely become a lesbian. Kind of like what Dina Lohan did to Lindsay, and what Cher did to Chaz (well, kinda). I guess Madonna has other children, but lets face it, no one cares about them because they didn’t sport a uni-brow for years like Lourdes did. I could go on about Lourdes for hours (Her nickname is Lola because she probably hates her real name. Can you blame her? Her fashion line “Material Girl” is named after one of her mom’s songs and I’m pretty sure Lourdes had no say in anything. Shame.) but I won’t.

Madonna needs to stop flashing her crotch everywhere. I mean, after you hit 40, it’s time to put the crotch away. People don’t like to think about middle-aged people even having crotches. *shudder* Never mind whipping it out all the time.

Madonna: What if I pose like this? Louis Vuitton: Ummm okay...

How many body suits do you own?!?

The Super Bowl Half Time show was pretty lame. No wardrobe malfunctions, no lip-sinking slip ups, no falling on her face. The dancing was pretty bad too. For some reason there was a Roman theme going on. It was just confusing. At the end, there were lights that spelled out “World Peace” that made me burst into laughter. Oh Madonna, you silly goose.

The main reason that Madonna bothers me is because of this:

How does anyone “loathe” hydrangeas? Sorry you have fans that want to give you flowers. That must be rough. Also, is it just me, or does Madonna think she’s British? Wait…isn’t she from Michigan? Yep, okay just checking.

Take your gap-toothed smile and hit the road.


44 thoughts on “Dear Madonna, Please Stop.

  1. Addie says:

    Madonna, or Madge as her 2nd? husband called her, is that unique breed called the American Kingdomer, or a Britmerican to make it short.

    I, too, am done with her crotch shots. I don’t want to think about my own, much less hers. I think we see her ladybits as often as her GYN does. Ew.

    There were a couple of missteps (Oh, I looked hard for them, so, I caught them)–the one that almost became the YouTube video seen round the world is when she went to do the climb up, kinda crouch, while wearing 5″ heels and she couldn’t get her second leg up there securely. She looked a bit panicked then. Sadly, she recovered. Boo.

    Yep, there is nothing worse than a 50+ woman who pretends to still be a lithe rock star–unless it’s a 50+ man or woman pretending to be a heavy metal fan. Complete and total yuck.

  2. AgrippingLife says:

    LOL!! Is it just me or was she singing a song with lyrics, LUV YOU Madonna? Wow, a tribute to her self at half time. That’s really, um…. Egotistical? If I was Lourdes I would kill myself. Imagine having a mom who wants to expose her crotch from every angle 24/7? She’s one scary lady.

      • Addie says:

        When I read this, I automatically thought of ‘Gran’, yelling for Rocko to quick come kill the mouse in her kitchen using that messed up accent Madonna used to pretend she was English (he Scots, N. Irish and Welsh gave thanks she didn’t destroy their accents)–Thank you, Catherine Tate!!

  3. Pete Howorth says:

    Too right Lillington, I used to really fancy her back in the day, now she’s like Grandmother age and should be at home drinking tea or coffee with a cover over her knees and watching MacGyver on the TV. Leave the crotch thrusting to me.

    • Being Lillington makes me so happy. I think she would spontaneously combust if she had to start doing grandma stuff. But that’s a perfect visual!

  4. When I was much younger she sort of scared me because she always looked so serious in her videos. Then I sort of liked her when she did the Austin Powers song and the Ray of Light tune. Plus she was the record label owner for The Prodigy, my favourite ever band, over the in US.

    But other than that I have never really liked her. Too annoying and her arms make me sick. It’s like she watched one of Shakira’s videos and thought she would copy it.

    • She definitely always looked serious. There’s something about her face that just makes me uncomfortable.
      She’s probably super jealous of Shakira and Lady Gaga. I’m sure she wants to be the perfect combination of the two.

  5. Marya says:

    All I could think about during Madonna/Madge’s performance was, “Just in from the assisted living center, Madonna! And, where is her walker?” She was moving so slowly. I couldn’t watch. It was a train wreck. I, like you, Lillington, couldn’t help but think of Lourdes. Lourdes needs intense therapy and 100 hundred, “Atta girl’s” a day.

    Lola, be your own person, whoever that is.

    • Be strong, Lola. Be strong. Hahah she was moving extremely slowly. I expected a lot more dancing from her. There wasn’t enough crotch shots. Not that I wanted them.

  6. Ahahahahhahahahahaha. This is too funny. I have never seen the vid clip. WOW. At least she smile at him and said thanks? LOL.
    Madonna is like Michael Jackson or something. Kinda weird, but never seems to not be on top of her game. Maybe it’s because of the crotch-baring. I don’t know. People love her. And she keeps going away, and coming back again. The woman really knows what she’s doing. I don’t… But she does.

    • Hah yeah she seems slightly crazy. Yeah, I would compare her to Michael Jackson too. Fading from the public eye, but they are still weird and semi-talented. But mostly because of the crotch baring. haha

  7. Addie says:

    I swear, that first photo on this post with the crotch shot–I first thought, “Well, I hope she either has someone do her waxing OR she read the instructions.”

    • Haha! They must be lesbians. Britney is somehow more of a train wreck than Madonna. I need to do a dissection of her life choices soon! šŸ™‚

      • Well i knew Britney was a mental case, i don’t really listen to music any more, how sad that sounds.

        I used to listen to Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Meat Loaf, Twisted Sister, and the likes, but your to young to have heard of them šŸ™‚

    • Yeah, they had a quick kiss on stage a few years ago.

      It was like being at a family gathering where you see that niece you have been lusting after for years suddenly get it on with an old Bulgarian aunt that no-one likes any more.

      I realise how weird that makes me sound.

  8. I’ve only watched the Super Bowl once so I missed this. If I knew there was going to be so much half-century old crotch I might have gave it a shot.

    She’s kind of like Michael Jackson. An “icon” who can do no wrong in the eyes of others. I think though that if someone peaked before you existed that you shouldn’t be obsessed with that person. All her fans seem to be girls born in 1991. Cut it out. She’s old enough to be your elderly aunt where you wonder if her or your mother was the accident.

    • I’ve tried to never watch the super bowl, but year year I catch bits of it and it ruins my day/life.
      She is llike MJ in a way. Except I feel like Madge is a lot more desperate than MJ ever was. But MJ was more crazy. I guess you can’t have it all!

  9. A. Person says:

    madonna is your classic overachiever type A personality combined with a deep seated insecurity that she is an outsider and never good enought which is why she must prove to herself that she is good enough, and that is the part that is most annoying to us, is that we have to be involved in this personal problem of hers. Combine that with the fact that she was handed a nice set of genes to begin with and has an unusually high IQ for someone pursuing her type of career. Had she not had this insecurity to prove to all how she can “do it” better than cyndi lauper and pat bennetar and blondie, and all the boys, which was a constant dialogue for a while – her comparing to boys and what she should be able to do because they do it – that coming from growing up with older brothers, and then a mom that died when she was young and then her dad marries the housekeeper and that is where her little sisters came from…anyway, there was a lot for her to run away from, and a lot for her to prove to herself. So its like a twisted up smart emotionally warped talented performer who has an incredible ability to use her charms to get anyone around her to do whatever she fancied….the biggest problem for me is that I dont want to care about this person. She doesnt care about anyone else but herself. She is a true narcissist, and probably a lot of other book titles. I dont think she is a good role model for anyone, she steals all her music by hiring others to basically create it for her and she then is the face of it all. her music has always sucked, especially if she was invloved in creating it, like in American Life. Her first albums were all written by these guys who were pop hit makers, and her boyfreind. I have met many who have had to work on her gigs, and usually they are like ‘never again, ever’ because she is so dismissive and such a over the top diva. So iti makes me unhappy to see her out there, its all fake, its all lipsynced, its all dress up. the fact that she had to surround herself with 700 others for the superbowl as if this were the opening ceremonyfor the olympics only points to her incredible sense of insecurity, no one required she make something that ridiculous and she also was not paid for it so I understand so it makes the whole thihg a triblute to herself. MIA most likely flipped the bird because she was not excited about being madonnas back up singer. And notice all the back upsingers were black, except LFMAO, who are I dont know what exactly. She had to include these “relevant” people to bring her back into the now, and that trick is so transparent and deperate. Please go away and go to Malawi. They need you there. They have probably never seen a 53 year old do assisted cartwheels while lypsinking..

    • Haha you might be my favorite person ever. You should write a book on your thoughts about Madonna because you’re not alone. I totally agree with everything you said. Hit the nail right on the head! Perfect!

  10. Tommy says:

    I guess i stand alone when i say i find her sexy, and the reason i am here is because i googled “madonna crotch”. I am a 24 year old male and i am not ashamed to say i find Madonna incredibly sexy, and i do not have a fetish for older women, i just like the way she looks

    • Tommy, I too am 24 and can relate to having unexplainable crushes on older celebrities. I don’t think you are the only person who has ever googled “madonna crotch”, nor will you be the last. Don’t be ashamed of your personal tastes in women!
      Peace and blessings.

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