Oh Make Me Over

It’s hard to pin point what makes makeovers so great. Some people like to give them. Others like to receive them. I like to give them, receive them, watch them, etc. It’s fascinating how you can change someone’s appearance so drastically. The best part of any makeover is the reveal. It’s so great seeing people get a boost of confidence that their fugly selves never had before. Unfortunately there’s also such thing as a make-under. But that’s a different topic for a different day.

One of my favorite scenes in Clueless was when Cher and Dionne give Tai a makeover. Let’s just be honest for a second. No matter how you slice Brittany Murphy, she’s always gonna look like trailer trash. Doesn’t she have that I-got-my-entire-outfit-from-T.J. Maxx-look? Yes. Yes she does. That’s why her casting in Clueless was so spot on. The duo really gave Tai the full treatment. Cher even tried to extend Tai’s vocabulary. She was unsuccessful, but at least there was effort made. By the way, R.I.P. Britt Britt.

Such a simpleton.

Do you remember at the end of Grease when Sandy changes her look for Danny? I can’t decide if I would call this a makeover or a make-under. I mean, Sandy was really cute before. She wore cool dresses and she didn’t look like Rizzo–she had a lot going for her! For some reason both Sandy and Danny decided that they had to conform in order to show their love. Danny’s attempt was pathetic. He basically kept his same look, and just replaced his T-Bird jacket with a Letterman’s sweater that we all know he didn’t earn. He rivaled my athletic ability. Sandy obviously took one for the team and let Frenchy make her over. What a brave soul. Grease teaches you that the cool kids won’t truly like you until you become one of them. And then they’ll sing a ridiculous song outside of school and you’ll fly off in a car. Ahh Rydell High.

Frenchy did a great job of making Sandy look 20 years older.

Reality shows really have the whole makeover thing perfected. I’ll watch any show if it promises me an eventual makeover. Especially a makeover with tears. That’s where America’s Next Top Model comes into play. There’s a house of 20 or so girls that want to become models. When it gets down to 12 girls, they’re all rewarded with a makeover to enhance their look. It’s astounding how many girls cry when their hair is cut or dyed. Like, really? I thought you were a model and could rock any look. Needless to say, it’s super entertaining.

Another perfect example is Biggest Loser. The final 7 people get makeovers and it’s so fun to watch! Not only do the contestants get their hair cut and colored, but they’ve lost so much weight. They actually do look like different people. Those are always emotional because they feel so good about themselves after treating their bodies so badly. The makeovers for this season of  Biggest Loser were on last week but they made it a two part episode. So that’s annoying. Also, for some reason the losers (can I call them that?) get to go to the White House to meet Michelle Obama. I’m sure they really want to see her and her chiseled arms. But seriously, how many pushups does Michelle Obama do every day? Let’s make guesses! And then email them to her.

Lastly, there was the most drastic makeover show of all, The Swan. Haha just kidding. I’m talking about Extreme Makeover. That show combined easy makeover techniques (hair, makeup, clothes) with plastic surgery. The transformations were always awesome and the people felt and looked beautiful. For some reason my favorite part was watching people get their teeth fixed. No one should have to hide their smiles! Yeah, Extreme Makeover would definitely guarantee tears. And then they just had to take it one step further and come out with Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I wish someone would give Ty Pennington an Extreme Makeover.

I think you missed a spot shaving. Also, stop spiking your hair. It's not 2002.

Dear Madonna, Please Stop.

Casual pose.

After watching the Super Bowl Half Time show, I have to say that I’ve had enough of Madonna. I mean, I had had enough of her before then, but now I’ve really had enough.

First of all, I don’t know what the big deal is about Madonna. She had a handful of hits in the 80’s and people think she’s like a music icon. It’s hard for me to decide which version of Madonna is most disturbing–80’s Madonna, the Madonna of today, or the Madonna that made out with Britney Spears.

Madonna’s daughter Lourdes will live in her mother’s enormous shadow for the rest of her life and will most likely become a lesbian. Kind of like what Dina Lohan did to Lindsay, and what Cher did to Chaz (well, kinda). I guess Madonna has other children, but lets face it, no one cares about them because they didn’t sport a uni-brow for years like Lourdes did. I could go on about Lourdes for hours (Her nickname is Lola because she probably hates her real name. Can you blame her? Her fashion line “Material Girl” is named after one of her mom’s songs and I’m pretty sure Lourdes had no say in anything. Shame.) but I won’t.

Madonna needs to stop flashing her crotch everywhere. I mean, after you hit 40, it’s time to put the crotch away. People don’t like to think about middle-aged people even having crotches. *shudder* Never mind whipping it out all the time.

Madonna: What if I pose like this? Louis Vuitton: Ummm okay...

How many body suits do you own?!?

The Super Bowl Half Time show was pretty lame. No wardrobe malfunctions, no lip-sinking slip ups, no falling on her face. The dancing was pretty bad too. For some reason there was a Roman theme going on. It was just confusing. At the end, there were lights that spelled out “World Peace” that made me burst into laughter. Oh Madonna, you silly goose.

The main reason that Madonna bothers me is because of this:

How does anyone “loathe” hydrangeas? Sorry you have fans that want to give you flowers. That must be rough. Also, is it just me, or does Madonna think she’s British? Wait…isn’t she from Michigan? Yep, okay just checking.

Take your gap-toothed smile and hit the road.