Judging

Lily in England Part 1


Now that Lily in Canada is such a popular place for people to hang out online, I sort of regret the fact that I didn’t start blogging sooner. I lived in England for three years of my life and those three short years were full of ridiculous experiences and people. I’m going to fill you in on some of the weird stuff that I observed whilst on the other side of the pond. Many thanks to Mooselicker for this brilliant idea!

I’m going to break this up into categories because it’s just better that way. Also, the list goes on and on, these are just a handful of the oddities.

Sayings:

There was definitely a language barrier. I understood every word, but I often had trouble responding. If I passed people on the streets they would quickly say “youalright?” and then walk away. Apparently the proper response is saying “youalright?” right back. I could not, for the love of all that is holy, train my brain to do that. I would start saying “Yeah, I’m good, how are you?” and they would be down the street by the time I finished. I guess having a conversation is weird? Maybe just say “hi” instead of asking me if I’m alright. Because if you ask me a question and it’s pertaining to my life, I’m sure as hell going to answer it.

The name of the club that we would go to in Canterbury was called Baa Bars. No joke. Too many times I was asked the question, “You goin’ Baa Bars?” I couldn’t help smiling every time. First of all, Baa Bars. Second of all, “you goin'”, not “are you going to.” It was just all so weird.

By the way, Baa Bars was located in what seems to be an old factory...?

Their spelling is all wrong. They have unnecessary letters thrown into words. For example, program is programme. They also spell words like they’re living in the 16th century. Tire is tyre. Center is centre. Gross.

They would also pretend that they didn’t know what I was saying. Like if I said, “Ugh I’m so tired of school.” My friends would reply, “We don’t go to school, we go to uni.” Okay, everything is school. University is a type of school. Or if I said, “Have you studied for finals at all?” they would respond, “You mean exams.” OH SORRY. YES. EXAMS.

Food:

England is really missing out on a lot of great food. They do have something called Pork Faggots though. No joke. On the back of the box it says, “For all Faggot-loving families.” Ummmhghhhh. That just shouldn’t be allowed.

More importantly, WHICH West Country?

I find it weird that everyone drinks tea there. Like, everyone likes it. A common question is “You wanna cuppa?” This translates to “Would you like a cup of tea?” They also eat a lot of beans, which makes me uneasy. And don’t forget about spotted dick.

They do have some redeeming foods though. Indian food in England is melt-in-your-mouth delicious. Roast Dinners were also something of a delight. Roasts were usually at pubs on Sunday nights. They give you all the fixin’s–vegetables, potatoes, chicken (or beef or lamb), Yorkshire puddings, and loads of gravy. It’s like Thanksgiving every Sunday night. And you’re in a pub.

Stay tuned for part 2. Unless you already feel like throwing up.

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27 thoughts on “Lily in England Part 1

  1. Hahaha! I love to reminisce… I’m sure Michael Cargill and Pete Howorth are gonna love this! Don’t you wish you could just pop over anytime to visit. So many good times. I think you and Paul will have to go back to the Olive Grove for your anniversary at least once.

    • Yess the O Grove! Have to go back some time! Haha there are almost too many things that I didn’t even know where to start! I wish I could go back…but only to London…hah!

  2. I would think that once you got the hang of it, England was fertile ground for judging!
    And how is “which west country?” the biggest question from that box?!?

  3. Yay, I knew I would like this when I saw the email title!

    Programme is a weird one as we say ‘TV programme’ but then ‘computer program’. But then a developer would be called a ‘computer programmer’. It’s so backwards it could be Irish.

    I love faggots. I have never eaten them, I just love the fact there is a name of a food called that. People in the West Country – Cornwall – talk funny and eat nothing but apples all day.

    Baa Bars is a great name for a club as well! There was a place called Black Sheep Bar near me.

    • Faggots are pretty much the best food that your country has to offer. I think Black Sheep Bar sounds much cuter than Baa Bars.
      Program/programme is weird. I didn’t even realize that computer programs were spelled differently! Crazy people.

  4. I look forward to the next installment!! The one memory I have is Marmite. And Cadbury’s. One is the food of the seventh circle of Hell, the second is Heaven.

    • Marmite is so gross. But marmite chips/crisps are actually really good! Who wouldda thought? Cadbury is delightful. BUT England doesn’t have Hershey’s…so no Reese’s. It’s tough to live in a world with no Reese’s.

  5. Lily don’t forget the English lanuage was taken to America and then changed by the Americans to suit their minds :)or spelling is the right way :)

    I have never tried Marmite, Pork Faggots, but i love a good cuppa, all day.
    Don’t forget about the spelling of, color-colour, honor-honour and theres more.

    • We may have changed the spelling, but did you know our accents are more similar to medieval English than modern English accents? Haha kind of weird to think about, huh? We just shorted the words to make them easier :D

      A cuppa can be very comforting, I will be the first to admit! Yes, lots of extra u’s!

  6. Hah I read this while on the toilet in Scotland :D excellent stuff, further up north we say, “Alrate?” and the response would be “Ahh.”

    That’s all the conversation we need up here. Anything more detracts from our beer drinking time.

    It’s funny how I’ve been around for 26 years and I’ve never had a faggot in my mouth.

    • Alrate? Haha my brother and I would say “hiyayoualright?” to each other as a greeting. No one really knew what we were saying, but we knew. WE KNEW.

      No faggots? Me either. I tended to say away from them.

  7. I love mentions of myself. And as far away from the word Faggot as possible! My secret is safe.

    Some woman at my work always says to me “Hey Tim how are you doing?” and before I can lie and say “Good” she’s sitting at her desk 50 feet away. I’m used to it so if I was ever in England “youallright” wouldn’t be a problem. Plus I know the English wouldn’t really care about my feelings.

  8. Yoalright Lily? Where the language is concerned, the secret is in the name. To quote a famous American; Read my lips…….ENGLISH. We gave you our language when you were just another little part of our great Empire. And now you young wippersnappers want to go and change it around to suit yourselves. Cheek of it. The Pilgrim Fathers would turn over in their graves.;-)

    • Haha you did give us the language, but you guys have changed the pronunciation. I’ve done a little research on this topic and it turns out that Brits have changed the accents more than Americans have. Apparently our accents are more similar to those of medieval times. Hmmm..I don’t know how correct that is BUT it’s definitely fun to think about! hahah

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