The Easy Life

You know what I’ve always wanted to be? A damsel in distress. Or someone held captive against their will and needed saving. I don’t know why that scenario is so attractive to me, it just is. Maybe since I’m so tall, the thought of someone picking me up and throwing me over their shoulder seems impossible unless they’re Paul Bunyan.

Being tied to a pole always seems like a good situation. Take Wendy from Peter Pan, she was tied up on that ship and she couldn’t do anything. She just had to wait for someone to save her. MUST BE NICE. Most people would either have to find a way out, or accept the fact that they would eventually walk the plank. Granted, Peter Pan would be the last person that I would want to save me. He’s like 10.

Seems like the only thing that Wendy is good at is being tied up.

Speaking of pirates, I always thought that being a female pirate would be kind of cool. You would seem really hard core, be like one of the guys. Pirates are just cool. Is there any way I can go and force pirates to kidnap me?

Being a sacrifice also seems like fun–obviously ending up being saved and not dead. Kind of like in The Clash of the Titans where Andromeda is sacrificed to that sea creature. The original COTT was made around the time when they were experimenting with special effects…so the effect of the movie is…special. Both Andromeda’s are pretty, helpless, and hanging by their arms which seems super uncomfortable. But worth it.

2010 Andromeda. Lookin' fly.

1981 Andromeda. Just chillin'.

Another great helpless woman is Willie Scott in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. She almost meets a grisly fate until Indy and Shorty save her. Being thrust into a pit of lava is so not cute. I mean, I would be up for it if someone saved me.

Not a good look, Willie.

Until then, I’m going to wait around to be kidnapped. Do you think it still counts if you don’t put up a fight? Would the kidnapper even want you? Things to ponder…



16 thoughts on “The Easy Life

  1. Hahahahahaha!!!!!! This is so you. I think it’s probably Freudian – wanting to be helpless and child-like. Hmmm…. sort of like, YOU! haha! The Andromeda captions kill me.
    Why are you so friggin funny, Lil?

    • Tee hee hee. Glad you liked it! I just felt the need to share my feelings. It could definitely be Freudian. Freud just understands my life I guess.

  2. ::snorted:: Such an attractive way to laugh, but, that’s what I did. I’d have to be picky about who rescued me–my luck, it would be some smelly guy who looked like Smee.

  3. Didn’t Willie Scott marry or date Speilberg? The Temple of Doom people probably knew about this and thought it better not to kill her. I think what made that movie almost intolerable was here way of saying “Indyyyyyy” I liked the part where they ripped out the heart though. And the last bridge scene I would always reenact with my action figures.

    It’s funny that you’d rather be saved than always feel protected. I think a lot of girls are like that. Maybe while their man is away at a cologne store or something she gets kidnapped then he has to save her. That way he proves that he could have done it all along.

    • Did she? That movie was definitely my favorite of the Indiana Jones films. The heart being ripped out, the bugs, the monkey brains, slave children…so many feasts for the eyes!

      Feeling protected is great and everything, but what better way to feel protected than to be saved? Girls just like being saved. You should pay someone to kidnap your gf for a day and then find her and save her. Not traumatizing at all.

      • Yes, the excitement, the thrill of someone going above and beyond to pull a gal out of danger is much more appealing to some part of our brains. It was always my role while playing while younger, but my brother and cousins never let me come up with the good schemes. I was always the guinea pig.

      • Yes! I always wanted someone to tie me up to a tree or something. I think the neighborhood kids eventually started to hate me because that was the only thing I wanted to do. We would have been the best of friends growing up.

  4. “Being tied to a pole always seems like a good situation.”
    Have you discussed this scenario with the hubby?
    I’m willing to bet ANYTHING he jumps – literally – at the opportunity!

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