Lily in England Part 1

Now that Lily in Canada is such a popular place for people to hang out online, I sort of regret the fact that I didn’t start blogging sooner. I lived in England for three years of my life and those three short years were full of ridiculous experiences and people. I’m going to fill you in on some of the weird stuff that I observed whilst on the other side of the pond. Many thanks to Mooselicker for this brilliant idea!

I’m going to break this up into categories because it’s just better that way. Also, the list goes on and on, these are just a handful of the oddities.

Sayings:

There was definitely a language barrier. I understood every word, but I often had trouble responding. If I passed people on the streets they would quickly say “youalright?” and then walk away. Apparently the proper response is saying “youalright?” right back. I could not, for the love of all that is holy, train my brain to do that. I would start saying “Yeah, I’m good, how are you?” and they would be down the street by the time I finished. I guess having a conversation is weird? Maybe just say “hi” instead of asking me if I’m alright. Because if you ask me a question and it’s pertaining to my life, I’m sure as hell going to answer it.

The name of the club that we would go to in Canterbury was called Baa Bars. No joke. Too many times I was asked the question, “You goin’ Baa Bars?” I couldn’t help smiling every time. First of all, Baa Bars. Second of all, “you goin'”, not “are you going to.” It was just all so weird.

By the way, Baa Bars was located in what seems to be an old factory...?

Their spelling is all wrong. They have unnecessary letters thrown into words. For example, program is programme. They also spell words like they’re living in the 16th century. Tire is tyre. Center is centre. Gross.

They would also pretend that they didn’t know what I was saying. Like if I said, “Ugh I’m so tired of school.” My friends would reply, “We don’t go to school, we go to uni.” Okay, everything is school. University is a type of school. Or if I said, “Have you studied for finals at all?” they would respond, “You mean exams.” OH SORRY. YES. EXAMS.

Food:

England is really missing out on a lot of great food. They do have something called Pork Faggots though. No joke. On the back of the box it says, “For all Faggot-loving families.” Ummmhghhhh. That just shouldn’t be allowed.

More importantly, WHICH West Country?

I find it weird that everyone drinks tea there. Like, everyone likes it. A common question is “You wanna cuppa?” This translates to “Would you like a cup of tea?” They also eat a lot of beans, which makes me uneasy. And don’t forget about spotted dick.

They do have some redeeming foods though. Indian food in England is melt-in-your-mouth delicious. Roast Dinners were also something of a delight. Roasts were usually at pubs on Sunday nights. They give you all the fixin’s–vegetables, potatoes, chicken (or beef or lamb), Yorkshire puddings, and loads of gravy. It’s like Thanksgiving every Sunday night. And you’re in a pub.

Stay tuned for part 2. Unless you already feel like throwing up.

Fun Foods

Lyke srsly.

I’m going to be honest, Canada has been pretty normal on the food front. Its refreshing to go to the grocery store here and not find “pork faggots” (I’m looking at you, England). But I have still managed to encounter some disturbing Canadian cuisine. There are plenty of times when people are telling me about a food here and I have to resort to my are-you-still-talking-to-me-about-poutine? face.

Let’s just get the worst over with first. Poutine. Pronounced: poo-teen. I wish I was kidding. Basically, poutine is french fries covered in cheese curds and gravy. I’m sure that sounds good to most of you, but anything cheese related (besides pizza) makes me want to end my life. I can deal with the fries and gravy on top, but not the cheese curd. Especially because its curd. I believe this specialty item originated in Montreal and now its become a staple all over Canada. Not really a staple, I guess. But it’s at the point where people still react when I tell them that I haven’t tried it. Ugh shut up about your poo fries.

I assume everyone has heard of churros. Everyone except Canadians. But they’ve heard of Beaver Tails which are kind of the same idea, but they look way more disgusting and have a repulsive name. Beaver Tails, like churros, are deep fried dough coated in sugar. Except one looks like this and one looks like that.

Beaver Tail

Churros

Does anyone remember at the beginning of Len’s Steal My Sunshine when the guys talk about butter tarts? No? Then go listen and come back. I remember listening to that song and not knowing what a butter tart was. Len is a Canadian band, guys. Canadians are apparently known for their butter tarts. The tart consists of butter, sugar, syrup, and egg filled into a flaky pastry and cooked until the filling is semi-crunchy. This sounds delicious, but of course its the one food that no one has offered me. THANKS CANADA.

Interesting tidbit: Canadians consume more macaroni and cheese than any other nation on earth. They probably think its gold or something.