Memories

Scaredy Cat

When Emily introduced the new topic for the “Remember the Time?” blog hop this week, I knew I would have endless things to write about. The prompt was “Remember the time we got really scared?” and my answer is yes. In fact, I can barely remember a time when I wasn’t scared.

I didn’t start off scared in most situations. It stemmed from over-thinking a situation, getting nervous about it, and being scared of the worst possible outcome. I feel like I could be a good survivalist because I would prepare for the worst case scenario. But then again, isn’t anyone who is still alive a great survivalist?

I could find a way to get worried about the most inconsequential activities. But in retrospect, the things I should’ve been worried about (like walking to and from school alone) didn’t bother me one bit. Oh, childhood.

Here are some things in my every day childhood life that scared me:

1. Losing my parents, getting abandoned, or having to be raised by someone else. This was like, my number one. I guess I made a comparative study of my parents versus other parents (of classmates or neighbors) and mine won every time. There was no way I would let my parents out of my sight.

2. Being trapped in a dark room. This happened to my neighbors and I. We were sitting in their shed, minding our own business when their older sister’s friend closed the door and locked us in there. I panicked. Obviously it would’ve been a lot more traumatizing if I was alone in there because they could’ve forgotten me. But since my friends were in there as well, we worried together. The best part was when the girl who locked us in there pinched her finger in the door while letting us out. Serves you right, bitch.

3. The Omen (1976). When I was eight years old I told my parents that I wanted to watch a scary movie that wasn’t Jaws. Jaws was like my go-to scary movie. Sharks were another fear of mine. So my parents were like, “Okay let’s introduce our daughter to Satan in child form and see if she enjoys it.” Like, as if I wasn’t scared of the world enough already. Now I had to worry about scary boys, scary nannies, scary dogs, being impaled, having 666 written on my head somewhere, etc. I still really like the name Damien though.omen_xlg

4. The dark. At night, when it was time for sleep, I would be scared for no reason. My American Girl Dolls looked especially terrifying in the glow of my red lava lamp when the lights were off. I mean, those dolls were scary even in the light of day. I swear they could look into your soul. My dad knew I was scared of them and would always put them on my bed, so when I walked in my room they would be starring straight at me.

One time when I woke in the middle of the night, I saw a ghost child in my mirror. It waved for me to come closer but I pretty much ran into my parent’s room and slept there. That was really the only time I think I’ve seen a ghost in my life. I mean, it could’ve been smudges on the mirror….okay it was definitely smudges and fingerprints on the mirror, but it looked so real, man.

5. My friend’s older siblings. I wasn’t familiar with the world of older siblings simply because I was the eldest child in my family. My friend’s older brothers and sisters always seemed so grown up and frankly, terrifying. One time I was sleeping over at my friend Kelly’s house and she and I were just playing a friendly game of Crossfire when her sister sauntered into the room telling us that we had to watch this movie with her. It was a Slither-ish movie where this girl was sitting in her bathtub and huge leech-like insects went into her ears and basically destroyed her life. Just like Kelly’s sister was destroying my life. And then to top off the night, her sister made me eat cheese. Torture.

That list may not be frightening to most of you any of you, but it gave me a lot of anxiety. There were dangers and things to be scared of around every corner. And I just happened to find them all.rtt-new

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Feelings

Chicken Soup for the Average Soul

Recently, my family went through a bit of an episode. My mom wrote about it on her blog and she received so many kind words and prayers. It’s crazy to know how many people have gone through similar situations or worse situations–it really puts things into perspective.

It’s nice to be optimistic, but you also have to allow yourself to feel what your mind is telling you to feel. If you want to be mad, be mad! Yell and scream and write angry letters. If you wanna be sad, be sad! Cry, listen to sad music, sleep, and get drunk. If you don’t express how you’re feeling, it’s becomes more difficult to get over everything.

The most important thing to surround yourself with uplifting people that will take your mind off of everything. A lot of people know just what to say. Validation is key when you’re feeling down and out. When people agree with you, you don’t feel quite as crazy. Some people say the wrong things though. They don’t know the situation and they’ll jump to wrong conclusions. It’s likely that they think they’re helping by thinking of the worst case scenario, but those are probably the worst things you could say. Some people just don’t get it.

But for every one of the people that don’t get it, there are twenty that do. Blogging is a great way to find all the people that make you feel happy and warm inside even when life is already good. It’s crazy how you don’t even have to meet people to have such a strong connection with them. And now I’m blogging about blogging. All time low.

But in all seriousness, it’s great to know that there are so many good people out there in the world and that we aren’t the only ones with problems. It kind of restores your faith in humanity when you read all of the kind things that people say to comfort those in need.

Anyway, don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll be back to my sarcastic, cold-hearted self by tomorrow.

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