Feelings

Yearning

In this vast world of blogging splendor, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. There’s not enough time in the days, hours, minutes, for me to even contemplate ideas or have creative thoughts. I long for soaking up books, movies, plays, music, pop culture, history, news, reality, knowledge, etc, etc, etc. And I feel like I’m eternally chasing all of this stuff and the world keeps speeding up and producing more stuff and it’s just a never-ending production line of crap with some gems mixed in. tumblr_mifs9lp64Q1rrmf9ro1_500

I love when I find a gem. Like a favorite movie or TV show or painting or article of clothing or photograph–something that speaks to my soul. I can feel it. You can feel it. You just know, ya know? I feel like, as humans, we spend so much time wading through the crap to get to the jewels. Or sometimes we think that the crap is worth more than it is.

I went to a movie tonight called Begin Again (bad title) and I expected it to be bad because it starred Adam Levine and Keira Knightley’s teeth, but then I started digging it and then I was disgusted in myself. I started thinking, do I really like this? Or have I lost my superior (and obnoxious) sense of what’s critically considered “good” and “bad” and now I’m just a regular Joe enjoying an unrealistic rom-com. Maybe I was just in the mood for something light. But I don’t want to be that person. I want to be the person who watches foreign films on Wednesdays and knows the newest bands before the university radio stations. I want to have an opinion on the careers of models that people haven’t even heard of. Do I want to be a hipster? I don’t know. I liked myself when I was in-the-know. But now I’m out of the loop and I can’t catch up. One can never catch up on what they missed. You can’t study up on life.

I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Peace out. *drops mic*

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