Modern-er Family

I was watching my Wednesday night line-up last night and I kind of got fed up with Modern Family. It’s almost too modern that it doesn’t even make sense. Well, I guess it makes sense but it just bothers me. Like, no family is that mixed and multicultural and skinny. Here are some things that I would change about the show to make it more realistic and a better watch overall.

First and foremost I think Claire, the mom, should die of anorexia. They always make comments about how she likes to workout or about how skinny she is. The plot twist is already halfway there. Maybe she had a case of exercise bulimia, couldn’t stop working out after each meal, and just slowly ended her life. Now the kids have to depend on their single parent, Phil, for everything. Phil, instead of being his funny, happy self, spirals into a deep depression and doesn’t come out of his room except to eat. He loses his job and the 4 of them have to move into a 2 bedroom apartment. Modernity at it’s finest.modern_family_serie_background-1920x1200

Cam and Mitch decide that it’s time to get married. They travel to Massachusetts, tie the knot, and eventually travel down to DC to become gay rights activists. They lead marches and protests and eventually put their daughter’s happiness on the back burner. Lily, being the annoying child that she is, goes across the street to the picketers from the Westboro Baptist church. She rebels against her parents and finds a place in the Westboro community. And she gets to make really colorful signs which no kindergartner can resist.

Now that Claire is out of the picture, Phil is finally able to make a move on Gloria. Gloria welcomes the change–she almost forgot what it was like to be with a semi-youthful man. Jay finds out and gets Gloria and Manny deported–sent back to Columbia. Manny becomes a drug lord and eventually pimps out his mother. He makes millions. Since Jay and Gloria’s newborn was born in the states, Jay keeps the child and raises it. In his will, he leaves all his money to baby Joe.

Doesn’t that sound like a better show? Much more interesting and well…modern. In times like these we need a show that we can relate to, not a Brady Bunch filler that takes our mind off of the scary world around us. It might not be as funny as the Modern Family that everyone knows and loves, but it will be real and raw. Sorry I’m such a creative genius.


Sensitive Subjects

Having blogged for a while now, I’ve noticed that some people like to get into deep discussions. It’s nice that we have a resource where we can share our opinions on different worldly matters. That being said, talking about religion and politics scares me–I tend to refrain from stirring the pot. Every once in a while I’ll jump in a conversation if I feel the need to back up someone or bring up a view that hasn’t been explored, but usually I’ll stay out of it.

I loathed when teachers would make us debate in high school. Debating is basically forced fighting. I don’t mind every day confrontation. If someone cuts in front of me in the grocery store, believe me, I will tell them. But I would never make a facebook status about the topic of abortion to just see what happens. It would be madness. I posted a status saying that the Big Bang Theory sucked and things got weird.

Talking about religion can either be really great, or really scary. I hate when people think they know about every religion and try to teach you about your own beliefs. I’m just going to start telling people that I’m a Wiccan.

I really like learning about religion and mythology. I love how many beliefs are out there and I find people’s perspectives of life fascinating. It’s all good stuff. I may not personally share the same beliefs as everyone (Is there a religion that’s just everything?  Hah slightly contradictory but it would be awesome if you said “My religious beliefs are everything.”) but I respect them. I would never not be friends with someone because of their beliefs. Unless they were a part of the Westboro Baptist Church. They’re slightly cray cray.

Politics scare me because I literally know nothing about them. I try to think of my own stances on topics, but I always come around to the conclusion that I don’t care. Am I the worst person? Possibly. The thing I absolutely hate is when high school kids are into politics. It’s like, why do you even care?? None of this applies to you. You don’t have to pay taxes, you don’t have worry about stem cell research. Just shut up and go to the mall.

Maybe I don’t like these subjects because I have trouble making points. I’m a Libra so maybe my balanced scales have something to do with it? I can always see both sides.

Are there things that you don’t like to talk about?