Saving the World

Okay, that’s a little dramatic. I’m not saving the world. But I’m definitely saving Victoria’s ass big time. I’ve already helped people in need thrice this week. Do I need to purchase a cape or what?

A couple of days ago I was shopping in Walmart (gross, I know). I chose an express line and the old man in front of me kept turning around and staring at me. Assuming it was just another Walmart psycho, I chose to ignore him and put my sausages, peppers, carrots, and hummus (the essentials) on the conveyor belt.

When the guy in front of me turned around to face the cashier, I noticed that he had a packet of cheese in his back pocket. Like, an $8 block of cheese. He was completely rung up and about to pay when I tapped him on the shoulder and said “Don’t forget the cheese in your pocket!” He reached back, laughed and pulled it out and paid for it.

Afterwards the cashier was about to kiss my feet or something, she was so grateful. The best part was when I reached down to grab my groceries, I saw that the man in front of me forgot his other bag to which the cashier said, “Karma!” He must have been very flustered.

*There was originally part of me that thought he might have forgotten the cheese and wasn’t trying to steal it but then I realized, who would put cheese into their back pocket instead of into their cart with the rest of their food? I also thought he was going to beat me up in the parking lot or follow me home so I laced my keys between my finger and took a weird route home. The things I do in order to stop thievery.

The next day I was walking downtown when two Asian tourists flagged me down. They were holding their luggage and looking super confused. They had a map with their hotel circled on it and asked if I knew where it was in broken English. I said yes, and gave them directions but since I was walking that way anyway, I told them to follow me and I would take them there.

I had a little chat with them and found out they were coming from California and just visiting for pleasure. They said the city was very beautiful (even though it was a little cloudy) which was cute. All in all they were super grateful that I was able to guide them to their destination. Just doing my civic duty.

On the same day, as I was walking home, a biker stopped and asked me for directions and I pointed him in the right way. Not a super big deal, but if it wasn’t for me he probably would’ve gotten lost and died. So what I’m trying to say is that Victoria needs to erect a statue of me pronto.

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

I’ve been awarded two awesome blog awards by two awesome bloggers. You would think I would have a better vocabulary from all the blogging that I do, but nope! I can’t believe there are people out there that are kind enough to read the dumb things I write and take time out of their day to comment and give me love. My blog wouldn’t be as magical as it is if it wasn’t for all of you guys. Awww. Okay treasure that sentence because I’m never saying anything like that ever again.

A long time ago (July 14th to be exact) Brother Jon nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger award. At least, I think he did. There were a lot of different awards pictured on his post and I didn’t really know what was going on to be perfectly honest. So I just picked one. The one that calls me beautiful.

Brother Jon has an awesome blog full of honest observations sprinkled with a lot of faith. It’s refreshing to see someone so proud of what they believe in and not afraid to show it. I wish I could be more like you. Ps. I like your cat. PPS. Remember when you scolded me for writing “Brother John” instead of “Brother Jon” on my blogroll? Good times!

Recently (today, to be exact) Rebecca2000 at Ladyornot.com nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award. This made me super happy because Rebecca is a fairly new reader to my blog so I’m glad I made a good impression.

Rebecca’s blog is really great and consistently funny. I don’t know how she keeps thinking of funny things and observations but it’s starting to piss me off. I’m the funny one around here! But in all seriousness, check her blog out. She’s a cool chick and deserves some more views.

Whew…now that THAT’S over. I get to talk about me. I know you guys love hearing about me. I know you do. Don’t lie to yourself. Here’s seven facts about myself that I hope I’ve never told you before:

1. Whenever I say “That’s so funny!” in real life, I actually mean “I don’t really think it’s funny, I just don’t want to be rude.” The problem is, now I’ve been saying that even when I do find things funny. I pray none of you ever meet me.

2. If I like a song, and I mean REALLY like a song, I’ll put it on repeat until I want to throw my computer across the room. My newest obsessions:

The House That Heaven Build -Japandroids

Good Ol’ Fashioned Nightmare – Matt & Kim

Ho Hey – The Lumineers

3. In middle school, I used to buy weird sparkly stickers out of machines at gas stations and Wal*Mart entryways that said sayings on them like “Teacher’s Pet” or “Princess” or “Cool Kat” and stuff like that. I would stick them on my binders and I thought I was THE coolest. If I could go back in time, I would lock myself in a room for all of middle school.

4. My favorite flowers are water lilies. If anyone manages to get me a bouquet of those bad boys, I’ll love you forever. But I’ll settle with regular lilies because I’m just a regular old Lily, ya know?

5. I used to go into Barnes and Noble and flip through magazines, tearing out pages that I thought were pretty and wanted to keep. So sorry for stealing from you, Barnes. This is my apology. Kind of. My friend actually got caught for doing it when she was with me and she had to buy a $7 mag! Ooops…!

6.  I’ll be a quarter of a century old on October 5th. That’s old enough for me. How early do people start lying about their age?

7. I’m pregnant! Just kidding. It’s just buy one blizzard and get the next one for 99 cents at Dairy Queen so I have a huge ice cream baby.

Everyone on my blogroll is up for these awards. And those of you that aren’t on my blogroll are also nominated. I’m feeling rather generous. It’s probably just my ice cream baby.

That One Time I Went Camping

I did a very Canadian thing on the weekend. I went camping. If there’s one thing that I learned, it’s that Canadians are into camping. Paul and I went to buy a tent at Wal*Mart and they were all sold out. SOLD OUT OF TENTS. Wal*Mart isn’t allowed to be sold out of anything.

We went to an actual camping store and bought a two-man tent. And when I say a two man tent, I mean that both men have to be extremely small to fit comfortably inside the tent. There wasn’t too much walking (or sitting) room available. But it was cute. Good thing I don’t mind being really close to Paul.

If camping consisted of sitting in those chairs all day, I would be an awesome camper.

We set up our campsite and then we decided to go swimming in Englishman River. When I pictured Englishman river, I thought it would be a gentle, welcoming body of water–like an Englishman I guess. Well, I’m sure it was gentle and welcoming, but it was frigid as well. Like, if it was one degree colder, it would’ve been frozen. Paul swam in it like some kind of Canadian weirdo. I went up to my knees. And the minute that I announced, “I’m only going up to my knees” I slipped on a rock and my whole body went under. Very funny, God.

After that excitement, we went back to our site and had hotdogs and smores. Whenever I think about smores, I have to quote The Sandlot. “First, you take the graham…” Such a perfect scene.

Once we finished stuffing our faces, we played cards. Hearts in particular. For all you Hearts aficionados, there were four of us playing. Paul’s younger cousins were with us. They were decked out with all the finest camping equipment that we didn’t have. They brought the cards and the chairs. So without them, it would’ve been pretty boring. Shout out to Chantal because she told me that she reads my blog and thinks I’m super funny. Can you blame her? Look, you’re famous now! Shout out to Tristan because he was really good at wielding a hatchet and told me I was good at pumping up air mattresses. Even though I got lazy and stopped before it was finished.

Later on we went on a walk to see the waterfall. The actual name of the place we went was called Englishman River Falls. I should have known there would be a waterfall involved, but I have trouble putting two and two together. Actually, I have trouble putting any combination of numbers together.

We found the waterfall. I was taken aback. It was so grand and waterfall-y. Anyone would’ve surely died if they jumped off the top. Pictures cannot do it justice. But here’s some anyway:

The very tip top of the waterfall.

At night we told ghost stories and talked about scary movies. And I ended up eating an entire chocolate bar for no apparent reason. After that, I had the worst sleep of my life. But it was worth it because I had such a great time.

And apparently we’re doing all of it again next weekend….