The Tweed Ride

I don’t even know where to begin with this one. About two weeks ago Paul and I were walking downtown. We were about to cross the street when a string of bicyclers soared in front of us. Typically I would have thrown my purse in the road hoping to trip all of them using a domino effect. But this time I was too transfixed to even attempt to cross, never mind cause them to crash.

All of the riders were casually biking, not racing. And they were dressed in what seemed to be 1920’s and 30’s British attire. All of the outfits looked so authentic. Not a bad one in sight, really. And everyone had a bit of tweed incorporated into their outfit as well.

I was really intrigued, watching them go by. I felt like I was on the set of a movie. Some people had their children on the back of their bikes and they were dressed up too! So much detail. One of the best bikers actually had a penny-farthing. I don’t know how he found it, but he looked awesome.

Yeeeah. I decided to find a picture because I know none of you knuckle-heads knew what I was talking about.

I guess the Tweed Ride started in London in 2009 and has been picked up throughout the world. It’s described as “a cosmopolitan ride with a bit of style.” Righto.

Usually I wouldn’t be interested in an activity that included exercise and public appearances. But for some reason I want to participate in it next year. I’ll have to start looking for an outfit. And a bike.

Congratulations Canada. This is the first cool thing I’ve seen in a while. Massive props.

Everyone in this video is super annoying and British, but you get the picture.

Being A Tour Guide

Let me just start off by saying that I have no experience in being a tour guide. I got my degree in History (it’s useless) and one of the jobs that people recommended to me was tour guiding. Really? That’s the job you think I should do? I mean, yeah I’m funny and entertaining, and people would definitely pay to follow me around for the day, but having people depend on me for a good time is just way too much pressure.

My p-rents are coming into town tonight. And by tonight I mean midnight. So I don’t have to worry about planning anything today. Whew! I know that their main reason for coming is to see me, but I also want them to have a good time as well. Luckily Victoria has a lot of coolio activities for us to do. What I’m really dreading though, is the weather. Weather is so scary. You just have to hope for the best. Unless you’re Storm. I feel like Storm kind of got gypped out of a good super power. Like, whooo you can make lightning! I don’t know, I just think she’s kind of lame. Plus her hair is white and she’s only in her 30’s. Yikes Storm, yikes. Invest in some hair dye and get that under control.

Does she make any other weather besides lightning?

Like any good tour guide, I’ll take my parents to my apartment. I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m with a tour guide I always wonder what their living conditions are like. I mean, they can’t make that much dough. They’re pretty much like starving artists without actually being artists. Hopefully my parents will marvel at how nicely my husband and I have made our place look. I’m sure they’ll be full of awe that I haven’t burnt the place down yet.

Next, I’ll probably take them around the little village by my house. Once you walk down the street that the village is on, you’ll be at the ocean. There’s a dog park there, so that should take up some time as well. My family can be distracted by animals for hours on end. Dogs are awesome. Especially other people’s dogs. You get to enjoy them, without taking care of them! It’s pretty much a win-win.

I think only doing two activities per day is good. Not too many, but not too few. Plus, with lunch and dinner, and then some relaxation time, the day is pretty much over. The next day should be spent downtown methinks. I know how much my parents have missed buying me things, so it’ll be my treat to pick out some things for them to purchase.

I also want to take them to Fisherman’s Wharf to feed the seals. Seriously guys, it’s all about the animal activities! Seals are awesome to look at because they have cute faces and they’re all blubbery. And they’re super selfish. Which is always entertaining. Getting to feed animals is even better because then you really feel like you’re part of the circle of life. I swear the circle consists of me buying smelly fish and tossing it to those wide-eyed seals. Afterwards we can get fish and chips and pretend that we live in house boats.

Look at his body. JUST LOOK AT IT.

Sooner or later I’ll have to take them to my place of work, the museum. And if you think the museum pays me, you’re sorely mistaken. This seems like a rainy day activity. No one wants to walk around a museum while the sun is shining. Unfortunately, my rents are coming between exhibitions so they won’t even see anything super unique. We just had a wildlife photography exhibit that was awesome (it literally filled me with awe) but it ended a couple weeks ago. And our dinosaur exhibit doesn’t start until mid-May. Too bad I couldn’t continue my animal trend.

And lastly I might throw in a trip to Butchart’s Gardens. It’s a super beautiful place full of flowers and trees and ponds…okay full of gardens. I’ve only been there during Christmas for their light-show, but I’ve heard great things about their flowers! Flowers make people feel like life really has a purpose (which it does!). I imagine it to play out like some scene from Alice in Wonderland where all the flowers start singing “On a Golden Afternoon” or something of the like.

I forgot how scary the flower's faces were! The back left one is going to haunt my dreams.

Sounds like my parents are in for an eventful trip! What do you like to do when you tour people around your home town?

Peace, man

Whoever painted that bus did a terrible job.

You know when people from newer generations are like “I was totally born in the wrong decade” or “I wish I could have grown up when [insert groovy event, ex. Woodstock] occurred.” Maybe they could if the lazy guys at NASA would focus a little less on counting the planets and a little more on time travel.

Well, I’ve found a loop-hole in this situation. These people longing for a decade change should just hop over to Victoria because I’m pretty sure no one acknowledges the fact that it’s 2011 here.

There are so many instances where people act like their living in the 70’s–from their patchouli drenched clothes, to their patchwork pants. I don’t know what kind of look this is, but its a deterrent for going outside.

I have seen SO many hitch-hikers since I’ve moved here. Especially hitch-hikers with dreadlocks.  I’m not saying that dreadlocks are solely from the 70’s (ask 60% of my high school) but they’re definitely not what I would consider “in” right now.

If you listen to the radio stations here, its pretty much all 70’s all the time. Which is fine with me. But after hearing 4 Peter Frampton songs in a row, it gets old.

Also, people on the island  use the worst expressions.  “Right on” is used practically after every sentence. And I’ve heard a few “jive turkey”s, “far out”s, and of course, “outta sight”s. Thankfully I haven’t heard any “dyno-mite”s yet.

It even smells like the 70’s if you know what I mean. And I think you know what I mean.

I don’t know how this island hasn’t moved on as generations have passed, but it’s kind of nice that everyone is groovy and chill. Cue Partridge Family theme song. In fact, I think I’ve seen their bus driving around here.

In Tents (intense…get it?)

No, but you can burn that shirt.

Okay so I am sure everyone and their grandma has heard about Occupy Wall Street. I really don’t have time for those people sitting in the cold and protesting. Look, I find things to be upset about every day, but you don’t see me crying about them (publicly).

The other day my husband and I were driving around downtown Victoria and there were about 10 tents set up around city hall. As per usual I was confused and asked Paul what they were doing. He said that they were “Victoria’s version of Occupy Wall Street.” I cackled after he told me this. Full cackle.

So I guess the Canadian activist group Adbusters started the demonstration-protesting social and economic inequality. So basically, Canada is to blame for Occupy Wall Street. I mean, lets think about this for a second. Inequality is always going to be around. There are always going to be people in better circumstances and there are always going to be people in worse ones. That’s just the way the world works…unless you’re living in Communist Russia.Which could be a fun change of scenery–plus you get to wear those furry hats and pretend that you’re Evelyn Salt.

But whatever. I guess its cute that people are fighting for something. Although, maybe people should be more like this girl:

I guess I would be the 1% that doesn’t really care at all. I didn’t even want to educate myself on the issue until about 5 minutes ago.