Depressing Morrissey Lyrics for Valentine’s Day

For those of you who haven’t found love, or who have found love and hate the person now–this is for you. The Smiths/Morrissey have some of the best lyrics. They’re so sharp and clever that they always put a smile on my face even though they’re totally depressing. So without further blabbing, this one’s for you:

“Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said I’d like to smash every tooth in your head/Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed.” (Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths)

“And you have never been in love until you’ve seen the dawn rise behind the Home for the Blind[…]You have never been in love until you’ve seen the sunlight thrown over smashed human bone.” (First of the Gang to Die by Morrissey)

In my life why do I give valuable time to people who don’t care if I live or die?/Two lovers entwined pass me by and heaven knows I’m miserable now/In my life why do I smile at people who I’d much rather kick in the eye?” (Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by The Smiths)

“She told me she loved me which means she must be insane/They said they respect me which means their judgement is crazy/He said he wants to befriend me which means he can’t possibly know me.” (How Can Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel? by Morrissey)

“So, goodbye please stay with your own kind and I’ll stay with mine. And “love” is just a miserable lie/ you have destroyed my flower-like life not once – twice/ you have corrupted my innocent mind not once – twice.” (Miserable Lie by The Smiths)

“So what difference does it make? It makes none, but now you have gone and you must be looking very old tonight.” (What Difference Does It Make? by The Smiths)

“Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me no hope – but no harm just another false alarm.” (Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me by The Smiths)

And a romantic one…just for good measure:

“And if a double-decker bus crashes in to us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die. And if a ten ton truck kills the both of us, to die by your side, well the pleasure, the privilege is mine.” (There is a Light that Never Goes Out by The Smiths)

The Story of Us

Yes, that’s a Taylor Swift song. I’m too lazy to think of another title. I’m also too lazy to think of a creative Valentine’s Day themed blog post, so I’m going to copy everyone else and tell the story of how Paul and I met.

I went to Utah State University for a year and a half. My first year was really great. I loved my friends, my school, where I lived–everything! The next year, everyone split up and it wasn’t the same. I mean, it was good, but it wasn’t the best! One of our new roommates stole money from me (I ended up getting it back). After that, my parents asked me if I wanted to come home. I said yes.

I went to a community college close to my house for a semester so I could figure things out. I was thinking about transferring to DePaul in Lincoln Park downtown. I wasn’t sure about the whole thing (I have trouble making decisions). My parents told me that the community college had a study abroad program in Canterbury and that I should go for a semester and figure things out. I thought about it, but I wasn’t really feeling it. A couple days before the plane left for the study abroad, my parents were like, “Just go! You’ll have the best time!” So I decided to go. And I’m really glad I did.

I met all sorts of great friends on my trip. I laughed my way through Europe. It was seriously my favorite semester of all time. In my study abroad group were 3 Canadian students. They invited me over to their dorm all the time. They introduced me to their roommate, Paul. He was Canadian too and a full-time student. Not a study abroad joker like us.

My friends and I arrived in Canterbury on September 13th so my birthday (Oct. 5th) rolled around pretty soon after we got there. I was turning 21, which doesn’t really matter in England, but in the States it’s a pretty big one! I gave all of my friends invitations to come down to my favorite pub, The Jolly Sailor. On my Canadian friend’s invitation, I wrote at the bottom “Tell Paul to come too!”

All of my friends were there, but there wasn’t any sight of Paul. I was having a lot of fun because everyone was celebrating my existence, so it wasn’t a super big deal. Later that night Paul showed up! He was at tennis practice (seriously, tennis instead of my birthday?!). I walked up to him and gave him a hug. I was slightly intoxicated, but not by choice! Everyone was buying me birthday drinks, so I couldn’t turn them down! I told him that I was really glad that he came to my party. He told me that he thought I was beautiful.

So happy!

Even though we had only met a couple times before my birthday, Paul telling me I was beautiful made me so happy. It was sincere and sweet and I instantly fell in love. The next day I told everyone I knew that I was in love with Paul. Well, I actually said, “I think I like Paul” or something eloquent like that. I decided that if my study abroad ended on December 13th, I was going to use all of my time to ensure that Paul would feel the same way about me by hanging out with him as much as possible.

As the days grew closer to my flight home, I grew more and more depressed. Would I ever see Paul again? What will I do when I go home? Why can’t I just stay here and be with someone I love in a place that I love? Why do fools fall in love?!

When I came home I literally wilted. I stayed at home, ate a lot, watched a lot of tv, and went online all the time so I could talk to Paul.

My parents were like, “Umm why don’t you just go back to England and finish out your degree there?” And I was like, “WAIT. I can do that?”

So I packed up my bags and finished my degree in Canterbury. Paul ended up feeling the same way that I did except that my my emotions were 10x what his were because I’m a girl.

In our 3rd and final year of school together Paul asked me to marry him. Now we would never be apart! We got married on August 20th, 2011. This is our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple.

I know you’re reading this at work, Paul. I love you so much and I’m so lucky to have you in my life!

Lilypad and Paulywog