Things I Actually Enjoy Aboot Canada

No one in my town says “aboot” but I love saying it and typing it and I just felt like it needed to be in my title. I’m sure there are some Canadians around that say aboot, so this one is for them. And Ross Murray because he’s won’t shut up aboot it already.

I’ve now resided in Victoria, B.C. for over two years which has enabled me to accurately judge the people, places, and things surrounding me. It turns out that the more I live in one place, the more I end up liking it. I now have a strange and dare I say, loving relationship with my little neck of Canada. Here’s why:

It’s Beautiful. I have trouble saying that because I don’t like calling things beautiful unless it’s my own reflection. These are the jokes, people. But Canada has really upped the ante. I live by the mountains and the ocean (the ocean is unswimmable (not a word) throughout the entire year, so that’s a major drawback, but at least there’s water to look at) and they make a pretty good combo. There are a lot of trees left here (mainly because Canada is still extremely uninhabited) and a lot of cute wildlife. And no roadkill! Where I come from there is roadkill everywhere! There are literally deer everywhere here and yet none of them are “sleeping” on the roadside. Bravo, Canada!

The People are Friendly. At first I didn’t think this was true. I thought that they were the same as Americans and that they were just making up the whole “friendly, nice Canadians” business to lure in unsuspecting tourists. But no, they’re friendly and kind to each other. And they’ve accepted me into their country, almost. If only I could get legal status, then I would really be livin’ the life.

Their Money. It’s colorful, bits of it are clear, and they got rid of the penny. These people know what they’re doing. Greenbacks are all fine and dandy, but we need to rid ourselves of the penny once and for all. I’m “sorey” to say but we need to follow Canada’s lead on this one.

Their Willingness to Laugh. A lot of the Canadians that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting have been super cheeseball. But I have to hand it to them–they’re ready to laugh at any time. They want to laugh! These are my people. I just have to spend some time refining their senses of humor. Not everyone is cheesy, but almost every single person.

They Have At Least One Dumb Politician. Yay! We’re not the only ones with embarrassing political figures! Rob Ford, we welcome you with open arms. As long as you stay in Toronto and keep embarrassing your countrymen.

Chapters/Indigo Bookstores. Man, I never thought I could love a bookstore so much. Like, I seriously have a love affair with this place. The outside is grungy, but the inside is magical. They sell books of course, but they also sell home goods, jewelry, bags, accessories, seasonal goods, candles, and of course, Starbucks. Barnes and Noble, TAKE NOTE.

Pubs. Canadians take their drinking rather seriously. But not seriously enough to sell alcohol in their grocery stores. Ever since moving here, I’ve been impressed with the amount of adorable pubs that this country has to offer. I don’t even drink, but I like to have a comfortable place to watch my friends drink. Not some smelly old bar.

Their History. Canada definitely knows how to make attractive legislative and Parliamentary buildings. The one in my town is pretty schweet. Other buildings around town lack updates, but it’s kind of cool to see that some of the structures in Victoria are still standing since their erection (tee hee) in the early 1900’s. Also, I think it’s adorbs that Canada didn’t gain it’s independence until 1982. And on top of that, I have to give them props for all that they’ve done for their First Nations (AKA Native Americans) communities. They take care of them and are reverent towards their history far more than Americans have ever been. But that’s not saying much.

Tim Hortons. I used to think Dunkin’ Donuts was the best place to grab a sweet treat, but I have learned to love Tim Hortons and their cheap breakfast selection. Getting a bagel with cream cheese and a coffee is cheaper than my drink order at Starbucks. Tim Hortons has a special place in my heart now.

One last thing, go check out my 5×5 interview over at You’ve Been Hooked! The Hook is a Canadian fellow who has made my new life a little lot happier! He is extremely entertaining and stumbles into hilarious situations during his job as a bellman. Go take a look!

Tim Horton’s

Always Fresh? Pretty sure that's a lie.

All Americans know that Dunkin Donuts is one of the establishments that keeps our country happy. Without it there would be more untimely deaths, the crime rate would skyrocket, and the apocalypse probably would have happened by now. So, the way I see it is that Dunkin Donuts keeps us happy AND healthy alive.

In Canada (or the C-word) they don’t have Dunkin Donuts. They have Tim Horton’s. Its basically the same thing. But its not because its called Tim Horton’s. First thoughts: Who is this guy? He would sound more professional if he called himself Timothy. The only other Horton I know is Horton Hears a Who, so unless there is an elephant in the back making these donuts, I’m unimpressed.

The gross part is that people refer to it as Timmy Ho’s. I feel like those people probably can’t even afford donuts, so they shouldn’t even be talking about it.

Oh wait. The other gross part is that their company colors are red and brown–kind of like blood and feces. Sooooooooooyeah.

Dunkin Donuts was established in 1950 whereas Tim Horton’s started his biznastyness in 1964. And then he died in a car crash in 1974. So between you and me, he was a copycat and an alcoholic. I’m not saying the crash was his fault, but back then everyone was an alcoholic, so its a safe assumption. Especially if you lived in Canada in the 60’s. Tim Horton’s best friends were probably woodland creatures and booze.

Ugh just found out that Cold Stone is partners with Tim Hortons. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to boycott Cold Stone because of this info. Marble Slab anyone? Plus, Marble Slab just sounds fancier than Cold Stone. I’d rather have my ice cream on marble, thank you.