Exercise

YMCA

The leather-clad handlebar moustache man is going to haunt my dreams.

Paul and I just joined the YMCA. It’s in an older building so it gives off a slightly ghetto impression, but the equipment is new and they offer a lot of classes so whatever. We worked out this morning successfully and now Paul is going to play squash with a friend. Wtf is squash anyway? More importantly, why is he working out twice today? Psycho.

They refer to the gym here as the YMCA/YWCA. I’ve never heard anyone say “I’m gonna head over to the YWCA.” Why do they have to include women? Why does anyone care that much? Burning questions.

I guess 10 years ago the gym took a vote whether or not to install hot tubs in both the men and women’s locker rooms. The women said they didn’t want one. THANKS A LOT LADIES.

Working out next to random people is so weird. Oh hi, I’m gonna stand next to you and run faster than you and sometimes look over to see if you are paying attention to how great I am at working out. Go away please.

In other news, I literally saw an 80 year old woman doing the rowing machine. She’s probably an X-men. X-man? A mutant.

You know the YMCA song that they play at school dances and bar mitzvahs? I’m pretty sure the Village People had never been to a YMCA because they make it sound like the best thing ever. “There’s a place you can go when you’re short on your dough.” Not true. The YMCA costs “dough”. And you can’t stay there. I’m sure you could in the 70’s or whatever, but now they’ll kick you out at 10pm. That’s no fun.

“They have everything for you there to enjoy you can hang out with all the boys.” They have everything? Do they have a petting zoo? Do they have a roller coaster? Do they have a pizza buffet? I didn’t think so. How old are “all the boys”? I don’t want to hang out with a bunch of 7 year olds and I definitely don’t want to hang out with a bunch of 40 year old men that refer to themselves as boys. *shudder*

“You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal, you can do whatever you feel.” Getting yourself clean is probably the only thing that 70’s YMCA’s have in common with the YMCA’s of today. No “good meals” are ever offered. Unless you consider water a good meal. I can do whatever I feel? I can kick everyone out and have my own personal gym? I don’t think so little black police officer. I don’t think so.

Who do you think is the scariest Village Person?

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