Last Minute, Relatively Simple, 80’s and 90’s Halloween Costumes

I keep managing to out-do myself for worst title of all time. At least I’m not reviewing anything. I seem to find a way to review anything I touch, watch, or read. I just need to reside in a padded room from now on.

Anyway, for those of you panicking about finding a Halloween costume last minute, don’t you worry. I have some fun ideas that even the biggest idiot can pull off. Hopefully you’re familiar with the movies these characters are from, otherwise congrats! You might be the biggest idiot.

Let’s start with the easiest costume first: Joel Goodson from Risky Business474e3_fashion_risky-business-cruise

All you need is an oxford button down shirt (preferably with a pinkish hue, but white is passable too) and white socks. If you want to go above and beyond, you can also bring a tennis racket to use as a fake guitar while you’re standing on your friend’s coffee table. Note: It’s possible that you will become a mega douche when you wear this outfit. Beware.

Mia Wallace from Pulp Fictionmia-wallace

I was actually planning on going as Mia this year but now I don’t have a party to go to. How generous of me to provide you with my easy costume idea. Mia is a great female costume. All you need is a ten dollar black bobbed wig from one of those crappy Halloween stores, a white button down shirt, black cropped pants, and a cigarette. You could enhance this outfit by throwing some fake (or real, I don’t really care) blood on your chest and under your nose and plunging a fake (or real) syringe into your chest (above your left boob). Note: if you have a friend that has a suit, he can play Vincent Vega (John Travolta) or Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson). The latter would involve either being black, or wearing black face (I wouldn’t suggest it, but again it’s your life).

Cameron Frye from Ferris Bueller’s Day Offtumblr_muj1ma6IbQ1qaed4ho1_500

Things can get a little tricky with a Cameron costume. You need a pair of khakis and a Detroit Red Wings jersey (#9 Howe). Getting the jersey itself could take a while and end up being too pricey. Unless you’re a fan, in which case you might as well kill two birds and buy yourself a damn jersey. Treat yo’self. Otherwise you can always purchase a red long sleeve t-shirt and print out the logo and tape it or pin it onto your shirt. Let my Cameron gooooo.

Wendy Peffercorn from The Sandlot

What girl wouldn’t want to be the heart-throb for a league of adorable prepubescent boys? To truly morph into Wendy you will need a red one piece bathing suit, white sunglasses, a red ribbon for your hair, red lipstick, and a whistle. It would be awesome if you could find someone to be Squints that you could give mouth to mouth, but that might be going overboard.

Daniel Larusso from The Karate Kidkaratekid

Daniel didn’t really have any stand-out outfits in the film, however, the most memorable scene is the final fight in the dojo. All you have to get is a white karate uniform. I’m sure you could find one of these at a Halloween store, a thrift store, or online. You’ll also need a sweet tie-on headband. Your nearest Chinatown should have one. You’ll also need to wear a clueless look on your face the entire night. Make sure to enlist one of your friends to shout “GET HIM A BODY BAG!!” every so often.

Cher Horowitz from Clueless90sFashionTrendsCluelessCher

Cher’s ensemble is a little tougher to pull off. I wouldn’t suggest going as Cher unless you have blonde hair because a blonde wig would look totally lame. Cher has a couple of looks you could go for. All of them include 90’s mini backpacks. So invest in one of those if you can. Her most popular look would perhaps be her yellow school attire. Find a yellow plaid mini skirt, a yellow cardigan or blazer, and white knee socks (American Apparel should have you covered in this department). You could also wear a black blazer with an argyle mini skirt and knee socks for her Rodeo shopping look. OR you could wear a red dress and glue a feather boa onto a jacket for her Valley party look. Choices, choices. You’ll end up looking like a total Betty no matter what outfit you choose.

Max Fischer from RushmoreMax_Fischer-Meet_The_Matts

If you want to be poor little Max Fischer, you’ll need a light blue button down shirt, a navy blazer, preferably a maroon and navy striped tie or a red and navy striped tie, a red beret, khakis, and maybe some gold pins or prestigious patches as proof of your achievements. Oh, you’ll also need some tortoise shell glasses. You could also go the extra mile and acquire some racing goggles because you never know when the Yankee Racing Club will need you.

Wednesday Addams from The Addams Family (1991 version)wednesday-addams

Wednesday is kind of awesome. All you need is a black long sleeve dress (not skin tight) preferably with a white collar, black tights, black Mary Janes or any type of black shoe, and a black braided wig. Also you should think about draining all of the color from your complexion by powdering it white. It’s best to have an absent look on your face the entire night. Practice looking unimpressed–it helps if you actually feel this way all the time. I would know.

Hope those ideas were helpful and easy.

What’s the best costume you ever wore for Halloween? What are you going to be this year?

canada, Food, living in canada, Vacation

That One Time I Went Camping

I did a very Canadian thing on the weekend. I went camping. If there’s one thing that I learned, it’s that Canadians are into camping. Paul and I went to buy a tent at Wal*Mart and they were all sold out. SOLD OUT OF TENTS. Wal*Mart isn’t allowed to be sold out of anything.

We went to an actual camping store and bought a two-man tent. And when I say a two man tent, I mean that both men have to be extremely small to fit comfortably inside the tent. There wasn’t too much walking (or sitting) room available. But it was cute. Good thing I don’t mind being really close to Paul.

If camping consisted of sitting in those chairs all day, I would be an awesome camper.

We set up our campsite and then we decided to go swimming in Englishman River. When I pictured Englishman river, I thought it would be a gentle, welcoming body of water–like an Englishman I guess. Well, I’m sure it was gentle and welcoming, but it was frigid as well. Like, if it was one degree colder, it would’ve been frozen. Paul swam in it like some kind of Canadian weirdo. I went up to my knees. And the minute that I announced, “I’m only going up to my knees” I slipped on a rock and my whole body went under. Very funny, God.

After that excitement, we went back to our site and had hotdogs and smores. Whenever I think about smores, I have to quote The Sandlot. “First, you take the graham…” Such a perfect scene.

Once we finished stuffing our faces, we played cards. Hearts in particular. For all you Hearts aficionados, there were four of us playing. Paul’s younger cousins were with us. They were decked out with all the finest camping equipment that we didn’t have. They brought the cards and the chairs. So without them, it would’ve been pretty boring. Shout out to Chantal because she told me that she reads my blog and thinks I’m super funny. Can you blame her? Look, you’re famous now! Shout out to Tristan because he was really good at wielding a hatchet and told me I was good at pumping up air mattresses. Even though I got lazy and stopped before it was finished.

Later on we went on a walk to see the waterfall. The actual name of the place we went was called Englishman River Falls. I should have known there would be a waterfall involved, but I have trouble putting two and two together. Actually, I have trouble putting any combination of numbers together.

We found the waterfall. I was taken aback. It was so grand and waterfall-y. Anyone would’ve surely died if they jumped off the top. Pictures cannot do it justice. But here’s some anyway:

The very tip top of the waterfall.

At night we told ghost stories and talked about scary movies. And I ended up eating an entire chocolate bar for no apparent reason. After that, I had the worst sleep of my life. But it was worth it because I had such a great time.

And apparently we’re doing all of it again next weekend….


90’s Movies That Can Salvage Any Bad Childhood

Movie makers in the 90’s truly understood the generation that they were aiming to please–my generation. Nothing that bad could really happen in your childhood while you were watching a movie. No one disrupts a child with it’s eyes glued to the tube. At least I don’t.

I’m definitely not saying that I had a bad childhood. I had one of the best, if not the best. That’s right, I said it, my childhood was better than yours. These movies helped shape my younger years. They’re creative, funny, and make you feel good. Any 90’s child, or parent of a 90’s child would agree.

The Sandlot (93). Boys, baseball, the 60’s…what more could you want in a flick? The best part, at least in my opinion, is that they don’t focus on the game of baseball that much. That would be a snore-fest. The movie’s main character, Scott Smalls, moves to a new neighborhood where he comes across a group of boys that play baseball in an abandoned lot all day, every day. Smalls doesn’t even know how to throw a baseball, but he soon befriends the leader of the group and becomes one of the guys. It’s a fun-filled story. Plus, there are some great lines. Like the famous, “You’re killin’ me Smalls!”

Jumanji (95). Jumanji oh my lord almighty, Jumanji. This movie was genius. I tried introducing it to my husband yesterday and he said it was “alright.” Ummm excusez moi? Unfortunately Jumanji‘s main character is played by Robin Williams. But don’t worry, he doesn’t really make any weird noises like he does in Mrs. Doubtfire (another 90’s classic)–Dave Coulier style. The story revolves around a board game that’s alive, in a sense. Every time someone rolls, a new danger comes out of the game-forcing the players into a crazy whirlwind of events. Bonnie Hunt is in it. She totally knew what was up in the 90’s.

Heavy Weights(95). This movie was perfect for all of those 90’s kids who thought they were fat. Or for all those kids that actually were fat. Ben Stiller was at his prime in this flick. He plays Tony Perkis, the new manager of what was once an awesome fat camp. He turns it into hell for these chubby guys. The campers lock Tony up and hilarity ensues. This movie made me want to go to an all-boys fat camp.

It's impossible to feel bad about your bod after watching this flick.

Home Alone (90). If you were a 90’s child and your parents never introduced you to Home Alone, I’m sorry but that’s reason enough to call the child abuse hotline. Every kid has wanted the freedom to be home alone. Except me. I was terrified of being left alone, forgotten, or having to live with some other family. Remember how I told you I had the perfect childhood? Yeah, I was literally scared that I would have to be part of some other, lesser family. Kevin McCallister showed me that being home alone can be awesome. You can eat whatever you want, watch The Grinch, and go through your brother’s possessions–“Buzz’s girlfriend, woof!” Kevin outsmarts burglars all by himself and ends up probably having a better vacation than his stupid family in Paris. Who goes to Paris for Christmas? Kevin, your family is what the french call, les incompetents.

Me, every day since I was able to stay home alone.

Cool Runnings (93). Man, ’93 and ’95 were good years for kid’s movies. Not only is Cool Runnings an awesome story, it’s based on a true story! AND John Candy is in it. He was also in Home Alone, but I mean…He, Bonnie Hunt, and Robin Williams all sold their souls to the gods of the 90’s.  The movie is about a Jamaican bobsled team. That’s pretty much the extent of it. It teaches kids that anyone can be a bobsledder. It also teaches you that you won’t always win. Even if you travel all the way from Jamaica to participate in the Winter Olympics in Calgary, Alberta. Remember kids, there’s always a big chance that you’ll lose.

Matilda (96). Matilda is the awesome story about a normal girl with magical powers. Her parents were played by Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman. Matilda looked surprisingly normal despite having them for parents. She went to an elementary school with a super scary principle, Miss Trunchbull. The story is whimsical and teaches kids that if their parents abuse them, one of their nice teachers will probably adopt them some day.

Hope these lightened your day as much as they did for my childhood!