Teeth Whitening

The one thing about being Freshly Pressed that worries me is that everyone is probably expecting some amazing pieces to come out of this blog. I can assure you, there won’t be. I can also assure you that I’ll be mentioning that I was Freshly Pressed in every piece that I write from here on out.

I don’t actually want to write about teeth whitening per se, but I would love to analyze this commercial about Crest 3D White 2 Hour Express Strips:

Okay let’s start with the opening. This brunette’s friends tell her that she’s going to Vegas with them in two hours. They don’t even ask her what she’s doing or if she’s busy or anything. They just assume that her world revolves around them. Which is clearly the case because she ends up going. Couldn’t they have planned their trip a little in advance? They probably don’t have a hotel or anything which is super chaotic. And one of her friends is at the mall and the other is casually reading a magazine. Shouldn’t they be packing?! And can’t they have a conversation instead of small doses of words–“Road trip” “Vegas!” Vegas?” Maybe they have tourettes but they only shout out really fun things to do.

The most disturbing part of this whole commercial is that the main gal immediately thinks about her teeth. Not about what to pack or if she has anything to do the next day, but if she has enough time to whiten her teeth. Her teeth are already 5 shades whiter than most people’s so maybe she has a teeth whitening addiction.

One would assume that in the two hours before she left she whitened her teeth so why would she bring the white strips in her bag and pass them to her friend during their road trip? Like, what was the conversation leading up to that point? “Here I think you need these. Your teeth are only 2D.”

Then, the gang gets to Vegas and the lead brunette bumps into this guy who just starts up a conversation. Why would he ask where they’re headed? Why does he even care? Did he come to Vegas all alone? Who does that? And then when she responds she doesn’t even look at him! She literally walks away from him as she responds. I thought she wanted to show off her smile!

And shouldn’t they all have wind blown hair after driving for hours in a convertible? So many flaws.

Top 1000

Gift from the gods.

Last night I reached 1000 views on my blog! Just so you know, I played no part in 994 of those views. I feel like this joyous moment should be commemorated with my list of 1000’s.  I do not have 1000 items on this list, and its definitely not a “1000 things to do before you die” type of thing. Its just a compilation of things in life that contain the number 1000.

I’m pretty sure I’ve missed 1000 days of class Kindergarten-Undergrad. School is just so…mundane.

There are definitely 1000 people that I can’t stand. I will name 20 just so you get an idea. Susan Sarandon, Joy Behar, Guiliana Rancic, Kris Humphries, LuAnn de Lesseps, Teresa Guidice, Casey Anthony, Bono, Julianne Moore, Martha Stewart, Jennifer Aniston, Kristen Stewart, Kelly Ripa, Kelly Bensimon, George Lopez, Alison Pill, Dakota Fanning, Jenna Fischer, Anne Hathaway, Blake Lively.

The profusion of 1000 flowers to make the smell of Flowerbomb perfume by Viktor & Rolf. Come to think of it, I use 1000 sprays daily.

The number of times I have been to Disney World.

The amount of calories I usually eat in 5 minutes.

How many steps I won’t be taking on a walk today.

The number of strange dogs I have pet.

How much I weigh. Yep, in pounds.

The time when Paul said David Gray’s album was in his top 1000 albums. Hahahaa

Number of times that Avril Lavigne’s teeth have mesmerized me.

Times I have watched Clueless. And Titanic.

Barbie’s I have given a haircut.

Number of sports I don’t like.

Number of bugs that freak me out.

The amount of tater tots I can eat.

The amount of times I have randomly burst into tears.

How many times I wish I wasn’t washing dishes.

The number of Pokemon I wish were real.

Times I wished I looked like Frida Pinto.

Times I’ve laughed at my own jokes.