canada, Stores, victoria b.c.

Movin’ On Up

Ever since I moved here, Canada has really tried to step up their game for me. They’ve added H&M, Forever 21 (not that I shop there, it’s just comforting to know it’s around), and in Spring 2013 Target will finally arrive. How has Canada survived this whole time without Target, you ask? Well, they haven’t. No one takes them seriously as a country, but maybe with Target on the horizon, things will start to improve.Target-loves-Canada

My little slice of Canada is slightly behind the times. Toronto’s Target is already open for business. And they also have rumors of getting a Nordstrom soon. Lucky bastards.

The first Target to open in Canada was the Guelph, Ontario location. The first customers to make purchases were two scruffy guys. They made a mockery of Target by purchasing things that no one would need to buy: a Michael Bolton CD and a Tarzan DVD. Yes, you read correctly.

Don’t get me wrong, Target is the place where bad purchases are born and where money vanishes from your account. I’ve walked into Target for a notebook and come out with shoes, a board game, gummy bears, 5 lb weights, and nail polish only to realize that I never got my notebook. So trust me, I KNOW.

These guys have made headlines: “Target’s first two customers shop ironically.” They probably thought they were being hilarious. This is super embarrassing for Canada. Do you see how cheesy people are here? I can’t deal. I for one, will treat my Target location with the respect it deserves.

At least I’ll be safe here if the US gets nuked. Bonus. Oh and I don’t  have to deal with pennies anymore. Silver lining.



See how much cooler Target is?

In Illinois, Target was a big part of my life. It was the perfect place to go when I was bored, or felt the urge to spend a quick $50 on who knows what. It’s almost impossible to go to Target and come out empty handed. Even if you go in looking for one specific item, chances are you will have found 10 other items that you all of a sudden desperately need. Or does that only happen to me?

Canada has a Target-like store called Zeller’s. I don’t go there a lot because it’s called Zeller’s. I also don’t go there a lot because it’s attached to a mall. That’s just downright dangerous. If my home Target was attached to a mall, I would literally be gone all day every day. I would have no money and live in a box. So I have to avoid Zeller’s as to not spend my life savings on random items.

In the next year or so, it’s going to be insanely easy to avoid Zeller’s because it won’t be Zeller’s for much longer. Canada finally has wised up and decided to change all of their Zeller’s into Targets. I cannot even express how excited I am! A brand new Target to call my own!

I can see why Target attracted Canadians–the colors are red and white. Zeller’s colors are also red and white. Easy transformation. I think it might have something to do with the guy who owns Target also owns Zeller’s as well.

If you don’t have a Target (I’m looking at you, England) then you are a lost nation. And basically dead to me.