Projects

I have a lot of projects I’m working on. But they aren’t like home-type projects. Or projects that anyone else would consider a “project” but they’re projects to me and this is my blog so I win.

Drinking tea. I know I know. Drinking tea isn’t really a hard thing to do. I mean, you have to heat up water which can kind of be a pain, but other than that, it doesn’t take much skill. I just have a lot of tea in the house for some reason and my OCD keeps telling me to make room in the cabinets. What can I get rid of? How can I make space? The answer was simply to drink all the tea that we had in the course of a week. I’ve been having 5-6 cups a day which is weird because I usually hate drinking water or anything that isn’t Diet Pepsi, but I had to do it to make space for other food. (I realize I could have simply moved the tea, or given it to someone else, but no.)

Teeth whitening. Ever since I questioned my dental hygienist about whether I should get my teeth whitened, I’ve been interested in the process. The only reason I became more interested is because my hygienist’s answer was that my teeth were “pretty white” but “they could be whiter.” Well there you have it. They aren’t perfect and this is making me feel gross. I didn’t feel comfortable asking my parents to pay for my teeth whitening (well, that’s not true, I felt totally comfortable but it just didn’t end up happening) so I bought an at-home whitening kit. And no, I didn’t buy Crest White Strips. I’m not made of money! I didn’t think the kit was doing it’s job until Paul and I were eating lunch the other day and he told me my teeth looked white. AWWW. Love that guy.

Lotioning. I’m getting prepared for tanning season, or summer as other people refer to it. If your skin isn’t moist and lotioned nicely, your tan won’t stick, and you’ll be ugly. At least that’s what I tell myself. Plus, lotion smells good and it makes your legs look silky. Nice, luxurious lotions can be costly though. I purchased three good-sized bottles for $40 from Sephora and the scents are so weird. The first one I used was Lemon and Sage. It was okay, and thankfully the sage was kept to a minimum. I didn’t want to come off smelling like a lost love child of Stevie Nicks. The scent I’m currently using, and second in the pack is Blood Orange and White Pepper. Like, who was in charge of that combination? It sounds like a new potato chip flavor. But it’s actually more orangey than peppery so it’s not that bad. Actually, it’s not bad at all. Luckily, the last scent is Raspberry Champagne. Save the best for last. Always always. Except with food. Definitely eat the best things first so no one else can have them.

Running. UGH. I thought I was over this torture. I hadn’t been consistently working out since I moved to Canada. I used to be one of those people who worked out all the time. Then I moved and got distracted. I tried working out, doing different things so I wouldn’t lose interest, but I lost interest a lot. The other day, however, I ran on the treadmill for a bit and I really liked it. So I guess I’m getting into that again. *sigh*

Do you have any “projects” that you’re working on?

Causes of My Future Death

I wouldn’t say that I’m someone that lives on the edge. At all. I’ve tempted fate on many occasions, but hey! I’m still here. I started thinking about all of the stupid stuff that I’ve done (and that I still do) that could eventually lead to my death. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if I died from the following causes:

1. Texting while driving. I used to do this more at home. Just because I know the roads so well, and I’m an overall pro at driving. I know this is a bad one because it’s so easily preventable–don’t pick up your stupid phone. It’s so tempting though! And believe me, whenever someone isn’t paying attention to the road I’m the first to say, “Ugh he/she’s probably texting.” I only text at red lights now, so that’s an improvement, right?

2. Jaywalking. I’ve had people pull me back on the sidewalk by the collar of my jacket. I’ve almost been ran over by a bus multiple times. Whenever I think its clear, I start going. Its rare when I wait at a crosswalk for the flashing red hand to turn into the white walking man. Hey, isn’t that racist? I really just don’t like people in their cars looking at me when I’m just standing there. I also don’t like it when homeless people ask me for money when I’m standing and waiting. It’s so awkward if you don’t have any change. You just have to stand there and look in a different direction. Or let them talk to you about how they haven’t eaten in a week. They know just what to say to make me super uncomfortable. So my goal is to just keep walking.

Okay, black lights probably wouldn't work.

3. Tanning. This will not cause my immediate death, but I’m pretty sure I’ll have skin cancer by the time I’m 30. I don’t even get super tan. I just like the feeling of warmth from the tanning beds. It’s like being inside the womb again. Plus, you don’t look all pasty and sick afterwards. I have a couple of friends that love to guilt trip me for going tanning. It just makes me want to go more. Hmm instead of having this conversation, I could be in a warm cocoon of love right now. But, yeah they’re probably right–when I’m older my skin will be nasty and I’ll probably have had cancer like 5 times. Can having absolutely no foresight be a cause of death?

4. Walking alone at night. I did this a lot during my study abroad. My friends and I all lived in different places around the town so we all ended up walking home on our own. I chose the shortest path that I could. Unfortunately that included going under this “rape-tunnel” as I liked to call it. Apparently some guy murdered his girlfriend in this tunnel. It was under the train tracks. It was dimly lit, had graffiti-ed walls and absolutely no one would be able to hear you if you were dying. I always walked tall and kind of ran through the tunnel. I’m honestly surprised that nothing happened to me because that’s just a creepy situation.

5. Spontaneous Combustion. I feel like I would be one of those rare people that spontaneously combusts. There have been 200 cases of this phenomenon in the last 300 years. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was one of the rare few. Sometimes I get a weird heart burn feeling, and I usually take it as a sign that my combustion process has started. But I think it’d usually because I had too much pizza.

Instead of crying, I would be making my I-knew-this-was-gonna-happen face.

How do you think you’ll end up biting the dust?