Food, Judging

The Starbucks Student

I think we’ve all seen this kind of thing. Those people that go into a coffee shop with their books and/or laptop just to be seen studying or working hard. Don’t get me wrong, some people actually get work done in Starbucks. But why is a coffee shop your work environment of choice? Isn’t there a library or say, a quiet room in your house where you can study? No? Then here’s a simple solution, don’t study. Obviously the world doesn’t want you to. Why do you have to submit yourself to slaving away on a power point presentation in a crowded coffee house?

Hey! Look at that guy! He’s in the army AND studies at Starbucks. How quirky and unique.

The reason I bring this up is because I was at Dairy Queen just now and I saw a lady studying there. I mean, I gotta hand it to her, this was a pretty creative move. She can’t study at Starbucks at 9pm because they’re usually closed. So what’s the most popular place to go after 8pm? Duh. Dairy Queen. The place where you eat your feelings and they taste damn good. Mine tasted like a Reese’s blizzard if you have to know. Anyway, this lady had a booth to herself with all of her work spread out around her. It looked like she was in the zone. Maybe Dairy Queen is the new Starbucks?

I hate the type of people that look around the room as they open their Apple laptop up as if they were saying, “someone please notice me.” They might try to engage in a conversation with some randomer in hopes that they ask them what they’re working on. “Oh, I’m just working on the final draft of my screenplay.” I usually mime shooting myself in the face after I overhear one of those conversations. I just hate when people use the word “screenplay”. Just call it a movie.

I totally understand if there are distractions in your house, or if your parents beat you and you can’t possibly study at home. That’s fine. But just go to a school or a library. Coffee shops are so loud. Why would that be the first place you go? Do you even know what studying is?

Oh, and lastly, don’t look at me as if my laughter is disrupting your work time. Unless you’re studying to become a Starbucks employee, I have the right to make as much noise as I want. I can’t help it if I’m super hilarious and everyone’s laughing at my jokes (including me).

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