Drinking is never a good idea

How I felt this last night/ this morning...

I never drink. Well, that’s a lie. There was one year in college when I drank a lot. A lot for my standards anyway. It was fun, but its definitely been out of my system for a while now. Last night I decided to go out with a couple of my friends here in town. I actually hadn’t been out in Victoria before last night, so I thought I might as well familiarize myself with my new town.

I went over to my friend’s apartment and we sat around, got ready, and talked about cross-stitching. The other girl that was there is really into it and is certain that she’s going to become filly rich off of her unique designs. Props to her dreams. She bought about 60 different colors of thread at a place called Fabricland (Canadian Michael’s?). We spent at least 45 minutes organizing them into appealing color combinations before we decided to go to a pub.

Before we left, I had 2 Smirnoff Ice things (or Mike’s Hard Lemonade)…whatever. You know what I’m talking about. Then I talked to my friend’s cat for a while. I must have been really making a connection with the cat because she started licking my hand. I think I should consider being an animal masseuse because I’m that good at making animals feel relaxed and comfortable. From the way this post is going, there’s a possibility that I’m still drunk. Just fyi.

Then we got to this pub called the Baird and Banker. Its a cute place, but it wasn’t cute that they ask for two forms of ID. I only took my license and left my wallet at home. Do you know why I do this? If my purse gets stolen, then my wallet is safe at home. That’s what you call a genius move. Even though my purse has never been stolen, I’m still paranoid about it.

Whilst at the pub, we met some weird Guido hockey players. I asked one guy if he was on steroids and he got really offended. I’m sorry but if I can see veins popping out of your arms, the question is begging to be asked. They bought us drinks for some reason even though all of us were taller than their entire team. Yes, I actually found friends that are as tall and taller than me. I have never felt more at ease.

I told my friends that I was going to wait outside for Paul to come pick me up. I felt like I was going to puke. And then I did. Thrice. Outside. People laughed and pointed. Ugh. NEVER AGAIN.

canada, P0wning N3wbs

This is war

Hes like an angel. An angel named Shia.

Intense drama is happening over the border. The USA’s lovely Shia LeBeouf who starred in Even Stevens, Holes, Disturbia, and other movies that aren’t as good, was beaten up yesterday in Vancouver. I don’t know if Canadians have received the memo, but Shia is a gem amongst Americans. And he happens to be my first true love (sorry Paul). Imagine, I could have been Lily LeBeouf. Has a certain ring to it, dontcha think?

I can almost assume that Shia was minding his own business as he was leaving the pub where he was battered. I mean, he’s never been in trouble before (besides the time he was arrested in Chicago after refusing to leave a Walgreens….and that time that he got a DUI in LA). I feel bad for him. How would you like it if some fat Canadian man came up and started punching you? Sounds like my worst nightmare.

Canadians have to learn to control their obviously insane tempers. From now on, if anyone that I don’t know personally even tries to exchange glances with me, I am calling the authorities mounties. If Canada thinks they can unfairly attack our nation’s shining star (and my soul mate) then I am going to personally punch every celeb who has some connection to the great white north. I urge you to join me on this fight against evil.

Here’s the video of Shia basically fighting for his life: