Guardian Angels

I think I met my guardian angel today. He’s an elderly man from Baltimore, I kid you not. You know when you meet people and after they leave, you have a weird smile on your face? When you have a really good warm feeling after talking to someone? That’s what I got from this guy. I don’t know his name or anything about him really, but I know that he’s special.

I was volunteering today in the museum gift shop. It was a typical day full of glances at the clock and me miming shooting myself in the head. I was starting to zone out. Then all of a sudden, right in the middle of a blink, there was a man in front of me. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked. “Sure” I said, assuming that I was in trouble or that he was going to yell at me because we didn’t have his size in a t-shirt. Instead he talked to me about Carigdarroch Castle. This is a cool castle that we have in Victoria B.C., which I still haven’t visited yet…oops!

He talked about how much he loved it and then he mentioned that he was originally from Indiana but now lives in Baltimore. “Hey” I said, “I lived in Indiana when I was younger. In Fort Wayne.” This made him really happy. Why are old people so easy to please? Like, any mention of anything familiar and they’re all smiles.

He told me about how he lived in Lafayette and went to college at Purdue. He also told me about how he wanted to work for the best insurance company in the states. So he worked for Social Security. I told him that’s pretty impressive and he seemed to give me a look that said “I know!” So then I gave him look that said “Alright calm down.”

He asked me why I was in Victoria. I basically told him my life story and at the end of it he said, “Well that’s great! But are you happy?” I told him I was. And it wasn’t a lie. But I think I’m a genuinely happy person so maybe I wouldn’t even know if I was sad. He told me that being happy is the most important thing.

After he left, a few of the gift shop employees were like, “Who was that guy?” I said that I didn’t know. But I knew he was sincerely wishing the best for me.

I hope he doesn’t mind me awarding him the honor of being my guardian angel. He seemed like a natural.

And I knight you my guardian angel.

Old Peeps

I’ve never liked elderly people. They just scare me and frustrate me so much. I mean, there are a select few that are super sweet and cute. They always have great stories, but after a while its like, okay stop talking. I always just feel uneasy around them. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t raised with any old grandparents. Mine were always fairly young, and they still kind of are = good genes!

One of the first couple weeks that I arrived in Canada, I was talking to someone and they said that Victoria was home of the “newlywed and nearly dead”. At first I thought it was cute. But then I heard more and more people saying this and it was like, okay, cute phrase, but please stop. The scary part is, they were right.

There are an insane amount of old people here. Sorry, I like to call them old people instead of elderly people because “elderly” makes me feel like I should be respecting them. I just hate having to drive slow behind them, or walk slow behind them, or repeat things 20 times, or talk like I am 40 feet away from them. And sometimes they will cut in line and no one will say anything because they are old and stupid. But you know what? I don’t think they’re stupid. I think they know exactly what they are doing–trying to piss everyone off.

I sound so cruel. But I just get so frustrated with them. I can’t help it. One thing I do like about old people though is that they are all incredibly racist which is barrels of fun. I also like when they start saying things that don’t make sense. Or telling stories about how rough The Depression was. Um derrr that’s why it was called The Depression.

I can’t help thinking about how people choose to be around old peeps all the time. Seems like a death sentence. I could never really bond with Diane Court from Say Anything because I knew she worked at that old people home. I know she was supposed to be the valedictorian and everything, but working there didn’t seem like the smartest choice in my book. Especially when she probably has to bathe them and stuff. Sick. Llyod handled the situation the same way that I do when I babysit–pop in a vid. “So, here’s Cocoon.”