Surroundings

Norway House

Being Norwegian, I am proud of my heritage. It’s pretty much the best when you know that your ancestors were the bullies of the archaic world. I think I would have made my forefathers proud in that I carry all of the characteristics of a true Norwegian. Even when I visited Oslo, everyone was fooled. I blended right in. Besides wearing a braided halo on my head–that’s still a thing there–I was set.

I look like I belong on that ship.

So you can imagine my excitement when I saw a place in Victoria called “Norway House”. First thoughts: I need to live there. Is it only for men? Is it a secret club (I love secret clubs)? Are their weekly Norwegian activities to do?  So many questions!

Norway House, or Eidsvold Lodge, was built in 1946. They’ve had male and female presidents over the years (in fact their first president was a woman) but everyone seems to have an authentic Norse last name. Ughghg I guess I’ll have to make up an alias. I’m thinking Ingrid Jacobsdatter. See what I did there?

I just looked at the “Lodge Officers” page, and everyone is ancient. This could have been such a cool idea and now it’s ruined by old people like everything else. However, on Saturday they are having a craft fair and it mentions Norwegian sweaters. I’m so there.

Ugh except I just saw a flier for the Nordic Festival that was held in September and it says, “cultural displays, entertainment, open faced sandwiches…” OPEN FACED SANDWICHES? Just because its the Norway House doesn’t mean you have to pretend you’re actually in Norway. Call me when you can afford the other half of your sandwich.

This is so depressing. I thought Norway House was going to be cool. I should probably research my topics before I start writing because this post has gone completely downhill.

One classy joint.

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