Neflix Fix

Hey gals and ghouls. What’s new? What’s the haps? Okay I’m done. I’ll tell you what’s new with me. We cancelled our cable subscription! You’re probably wondering how I’m functioning. That’s so sweet of you to worry about my well-being. I’m doing just fine actually. Cable is one of those things that you don’t miss once it’s gone. Good riddance, sayonara, adieu.

The reason for our extreme decision was that we were spending an unhealthy amount of time positioned in front of our tube, not talking to each other, playing on ipads, and melting our brains. We were like a zombiefied married couple. So we nixed the cable.

We have replaced our TV watching with Netflix (baby steps…), reading, and socializing. However, the cable cancellation has coincided perfectly with my unemployment. In turn, I have nurtured my relationship with Netflix to an unhealthy level. How fun it is to press a button and have hundreds of episodes waiting to be marathoned. C grade movies whispering sweet nothings in my ear, promising entertainment and tickling my guilty pleasure fantasies. 

Some of the shows I’ve been into lately are:

Kenny Vs. Spenny-Unabashed, silly, and often times cringe-y. This odd couple has won me over tenfold.

Archer– Adult cartoons aren’t for everyone, but Archer is hard to resist. Witty and light–a fun take on the world of secret agents.

The Mindy Project– Definitely a show for all the thoroughly modern gals out there. Mindy Kaling’s character is relatable and definitely puts you in a good mood.

Orange is the New Black (OITNB)- If you like lots of realistic lesbian scenes, this show is right up your alley. Whenever life hands you lemons, you should watch this show and realize that life actually isn’t that bad after all. You could be in prison.

Friday Night Lights- Teenage angst and high school drama. Oh, and add a dash of football and a whole lot of countrified culture.

What have you been watching lately? Any shows I should start watching?

Arrested Development Season 4

I’m the first to admit that I didn’t watch Arrested Development when the show was on air. As much as I’d like to say that I discovered it, I didn’t. I remember my friend introducing it to me in 2007, the summer I came home from my first year of college. We went on a road trip with two of our other friends to Sanibel Island and giggled about the running jokes throughout the trip.

Since then, I’ve watched seasons 1-3 two more times and fallen in love with different characters, catching references that I missed the first time, and studying the character development. As the years passed, everyone jumped onto the Arrested Development bandwagon. It used to be rare to find someone that had heard of the show, never mind liked it. Now, six years later, Arrested Development has developed itself into a cult classic but in a less cult-y way and in a more everyone-and-their-mom-has-seen-it kind of way.

So the long awaited Arrested Development Season 4 was released on Netflix–15 fresh new episodes for us fans (everyone in the world?) to fawn over. I hate to say that I was disappointed. Here are a couple of things I hated about the new season (SPOILERS AHEAD):

Too Much Ron Howard

In the previous seasons Ron Howard lent his voice and narrating abilities to the show. It worked well–filled in the gaps for the audience, and even added to a lot of the jokes. This time around I felt like it was The Ron Howard Show. His narration was wayyy too strong. I would say that he had the most lines out of any character, and he, of course, appeared in this season as well, playing himself. Like, okay we get it, you produced the show. I also feel like his part in this season was so thrown together and unnecessary. In fact the whole Bluth movie story line seemed forced and dumb. Especially since nothing came of it.

Confusing Story Line

Maybe it was just me, but I was constantly trying to keep everything straight with these episodes. It felt like the writers were trying to jam in so many different views and new characters and old characters that it didn’t really seem cohesive. The time frame was also confusing for me because in one scene it would be “6 months earlier” and then the next minute it would be “a year later” and then they would show a clip from last season. Like, am I taking crazy pills? I feel like they could have simplified things and it would’ve given them more room for conversational jokes rather than depending on comical situations.

Michael Is a Completely Different Character

Umm is it just me or did Michael morph into a totally different person? Wasn’t he the only sane, sarcastic one out of his entire family in seasons 1-3? This time around he seemed immature, desperate, and frankly, stupid. I’ll admit that the part where he lived with George Michael in his college dorm was pretty funny, and probably one of my favorite parts, but it didn’t seem like a choice that the Michael Bluth from seasons past would’ve made. I didn’t like how George Michael was suddenly more confident and self-assured than his father, so much so that he punched him in the face and I felt like Michael deserved it. Which brings me to my last point.

Disappointing Ending

I thought more of the story was going to be wrapped up in the last episode. I felt like most pieces of the season were there for absolutely no reason (ex. building the wall on the border of Mexico, the sweat lodges, the Bluth movie, Gob and Tony Wonder, Lindsay taking over for Herbert Love, Lucille Austero’s 700,000, Lucille in prison etc.) because nothing came from them at the end. It just seemed like the story could have been more succinct. Compared to previous seasons, it felt too busy and messy with no direction.

What did you think of Season 4?

 

Harold and Maude 2.0

Okay this is a really weird idea that I thought of while watching Small Time Crooks. This is how my brain works, for real. You should feel bad for me.

I propose that Woody Allen and I produce a remake of Harold and Maude where I play the Harold character and he plays the Maude character. There wouldn’t be any cross dressing, just reverse roles. Maybe Harriett and Milton or something like that. This idea is still fresh–I clearly haven’t worked out all the details yet.

I think the casting would be pretty perfect. For those of you who haven’t see Harold and Maude, stop reading my ramblings and go watch it already. Too bad Blockbuster doesn’t exist anymore. Renting movies is one of the best things ever. Netflix is so dumb and Redbox is literally the worst thing ever. The selection is always like: Three Alvin and the Chipmunks movies, The Raven (you know that really bad mystery where John Cusack played Edgar Allen Poe? No? You don’t recall that gem?), like five movies no one has ever heard of, and Magic Mike. I wish I was kidding.

Anyway, the actor who plays Harold, Bud Cort, didn’t really do anything with the rest of his career besides a cameo in Arrested Development. I feel like I was the only person who appreciated his cameo since no one else really knows who he is. Except perhaps the people that cast him in the show. I feel like I could do that. Star in one really good movie and then do nothing else. I’m not saying that my Harold and Maude remake would be really good, but yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.

*Just looked it up and Bud Cort has actually done a lot with his career. Just nothing as good as Harold and Maude. Sorry Bud.

Harold is a twenty-something man child who has been given everything in life. He is hapless and expresses his emotions by nearly executing his own suicide daily. He doesn’t have much to say. He likes to go to funerals. And he also drives a hearse. I feel like I could be him. The part of Harold doesn’t involve a lot of acting skills. All I would have to do is perfect my “I’m miserable” face which I luckily have already perfected.

I think the tricky part would be getting Woody Allen to not only agree to the part of Maude, but to also tone down his Jewishness. He would probably agree to the part because it would involve a young lady falling in love with him. He tends to pick roles where pretty girls that are totally out of his league fall for him. I wonder why?

Maude’s character is 79 years old and is the complete opposite of Harold. She doesn’t have much, but she is grateful for everything she’s been given. She lives life to the fullest and sees the beauty in everything. She steals cars, saves nature, and also enjoys a good funeral. A match made in heaven, really.

Another bonus to the movie is that the entire soundtrack is compiled of Cat Stevens songs. Cat Stevens A.K.A. Yusuf Islam is a musical genius. He would definitely agree to the remake of Harold and Maude. To be perfectly honest, his music made the movie what it is.

Childhood Lost

A couple days ago I asked Paul if he was going to see Disney Pixar’s Brave with me. He replied, “Ughh no. That’s for kids.” Yes. Kids and 24 year old girls named Lily. Childhood goes by so quickly and all the fun stuff you do when you’re young is frowned upon when you’re older. Why is that? Why can’t childhood last forever? Why do we have to grow up and clean things and pay taxes and pretend to care about politics and the earth and other people? Childhood was such a selfish time. Maybe that’s why I miss it.

I remember my first taste of people making me feel bad for unleashing my inner child was during my first year of college in Utah. It was October and my friends and I wanted to go trick or treating. So we did. We got a lot of weird looks from parents and children that we passed on the street. I distinctly remembering a woman asking us, “Aren’t you a little old to be trick or treating?” We said uhhh no? She then said, “Are you going to go sit on Santa’s lap too?” You know what lady? WHAT IF I AM? Just because you’re an old skank, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the holidays!

I take the kids I babysit to McDonald’s more than the average person should eat there. It’s turning into Supersize Me. Which I’m totes okay with. Every so often I have to help one of them get into the Play Place. It’s usually the youngest who can’t reach the top step or something like that. I’ll look around the room, trying to suppress my desire to climb to the top and go down the slide over and over. I would no doubt be king of the castle and everyone else would be my dirty rascals. I’ve given into temptation a couple of times. Some of the parents smile and some look the other way. Yeah, they better look the other way or else they’re gonna get a milkshake straight to the face.

I also experience the same hate/jealousy around vacation time. My family has been going to Disney World since I was a wee lass. I remember in high school and college people would ask me where I was going for Spring Break. I wouldn’t say Miami or Cabo or LA. I would tell them I was going to Disney World. I could tell they thought I was lame, but you know what? There are probably more adults visiting Disney World than kids. And maybe I enjoy getting an autograph from my favorite Disney characters every so often. And seeing fireworks every night. And walking down Main Street USA. Whatevs.

Paul and I had Netflix for a bit. It was okay but the selection of movies wasn’t superb. One day while Paul was at work, I was checking out Netflix and I saw that they had episodes of Rugrats available! Without batting an eye I ordered one episode and re-lived a bit of my childhood. When Paul came home from work he said, “I know what you’ve been doing.” I looked at him like he was a psycho. Then he said “How was Rugrats?” How did he know?!?! I guess Netflix had sent him an email that said, “Hope you enjoyed your viewing of Rugrats!” We canceled our Netflix subscription after that.

People are always going to judge you when you do things to make yourself happy. Don’t listen to them! Like philosopher/songstress Natasha Bedingfield said, Release your inhibitions! If you want to reminisce and feel like a kid again, you should. I got fro-yo two nights ago and covered it in rainbow sprinkles like I was 5 years old because I don’t care what anyone thinks. Be happy, have fun, be yourself.