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Lazy Sunday

When someone asks me who my celebrity crush is:

If the dinner conversation starts to stray from yours truly:

After I’ve vacuumed for 3 minutes:

My answer to the people who teach fitness classes at the gym:

Me, going into any store:

When someone cancels on me:

Me, at my birthday celebration:

To all the people who leave hate comments on my blog (or anyone’s blog for that matter):


Everyday Annoyances

Whenever I meet someone and they only talk about themselves:

When I try to help someone who doesn’t know how to use a computer:

If someone is making me dinner:

When it’s time to do the dishes:

When I talk to myself about blogging:

If someone tries to censor what I say or do:

If someone tries to insult me:

When Paul asks me how my day was:

When I think about dieting and exercising:

When the woman at the insurance agency was giving me a hard time:

If I don’t have a comeback during an argument:


The Bug Zoo

Why did the people at Disney make their ants blue? So unrealistic.

I took the kids I babysit to the Bug Zoo yesterday. I figured we needed an adventure, and since it was rainy outside there wasn’t much else to do. I was debating between the Bug Zoo and the Butterfly Gardens. Why does Victoria have so many insect related habitats? (2 = so many) I chose the Bug Zoo because I didn’t know how to get to the Butterfly Gardens even though I like butterflies more than bugs.

When we got there, the cashier was uber weird. He kept calling the kids “hatchlings” which made me want to throw up in my mouth. And then he asked me if I had ever been to the Bug Zoo before. Does it look like I’ve ever been to the Bug Zoo?

So we went into the “zoo” and it was basically one big room with bugs in glass cases. We followed a tour guide around the room while she opened each case and let us hold the bugs. The kids I babysat didn’t touch anything. Smart move. I touched/held everything. Weird stick bugs, a tarantula, a millipede, etc. When would I ever get the chance to do this again? Never. Because I’m never going back to the Bug Zoo. So I had to make this trip worth while.

In any other circumstance I hate bugs. They creep me out. Mainly because I think of them crawling in my ears, nose or mouth when I’m sleeping. It makes me so uneasy. But for some reason, the big bugs I was fine with. I mean, don’t get me wrong, if I saw a tarantula in my house, I would burst into tears.

There were these two boys there that were like Napoleon Dynamite–moon boots and all. Every time the tour guide said anything, they were always like “Oh we found one of those in our basement” and then their mom would go on and back them up on everything they said. It was so annoying. The tour guide tried to act interested in their stories. So professional. Their voices were like a voice I would use to mimic someone. They were so odd. My favorite part was when one of them pointed to a glass case and said, “Oh I see you have some salamanders” and the tour guide replied, “Umm those are millipedes.” It brought me so much joy.

The Bug Zoo was actually pretty cool. For some reason I was mesmerized by this ant farm that wrapped around the entire room. The tour guide was explaining each of the ant’s jobs and how they just know what to do. They’re so organized! I was impressed. They just do their thing. I don’t appreciate little ants as much as I should.

Weird guy greeted us again in the gift shop. He asked how we liked it and what our favorite part was. I wanted to tell him that my favorite part was when that kid thought the Bug Zoo had salamanders but I didn’t. The kids I babysit paid him no attention. Seriously smart kids. I kind of felt bad for the guy because he was so awkward. So I got into a bug convo with him. I know I say this all the time, but seriously, what is my life?