poems

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She bit her nails down to the quick.

They looked like they hurt a helluva lot though she never winced.

“Get your fingers out of your mouth,” people would say.

I saw her roll her eyes

the way smokers do when told they’ll die.

She said the water stung when she dipped her hands into the sea.

“Like putting salt in a wound,” I muttered.

“Yes.” She said, “Exactly.”tumblr_n0r5e7S3LY1rqbmmzo1_500

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Favorites, Feelings

10,000 Views!

I think I’ve finally made it in life. I reached 10,000 views on my blog! My mom is probably responsible for about 8,000 views, but still, what an awesome milestone! I was going to do a giveaway, where you guys would have to answer some weird question and whoever gave the best answer would get an awful Canadian souvenir. But I decided against it. Instead, I’m going to share 10,000 10 facts about myself that you hopefully don’t already know. Here it goes!

1. I was born with only one kidney. Well, I was born with one enlarged kidney, and one mini, deformed one. I had to get an operation when I was 3 to connect both ureters to my big kidney ( I think). Being deformed internally is awesome. You get all the attention and unqiue-ness of having something wrong with you, but you also look normal. That sounds terrible. I admit that it must have been the scariest thing ever for my parents when they had to send their child into surgery. I never want to experience that. But hey, if I’m able to joke about it, then everything worked out alright.

2. I performed in the Sydney Opera House with my choir. I love singing. It’s one of those great things that anyone can do if they practice hard enough. I mean, obviously some people are better than others, but anyone could do it if they really wanted to! Unless they’re mute. Then that would be tough. Singing in Sydney was amazing, but practicing 4 hours every day made me want to shoot myself in the face. I need to go back to Sydney to really enjoy it, because I didn’t have enough time. I would post a picture of me standing in front of the Opera House or petting a kangaroo, but I just look so bad in all of them. I was 18 and hadn’t discovered makeup or mirrors apparently.

3. I bite my nails. It’s disgusting. I have really small nail-beds to begin with, so even if my nails have been growing for months, they still look short. Such a curse. Not only do I bite my nails, but I also swallow my nails. That’s right, I eat my nails. Sick, I know. It’s such a bad habit that I can’t lose. I’ve tried growing them out so many times. One time I lived solely on a diet of gummy candies and the gelatin in them must have done something to my nails because they grew so long and super thick. It looked like I was wearing acrylics. I need to try that diet again.

4. I don’t drink. When I was studying in England I drank but only because there’s not much else to do there. I don’t like alcohol with food. I definitely don’t like the taste of it unless the alcohol itself is undetectable. I have my memories of getting schwasted, and I certainly had a lot of fun, but I think I’ve out-grown that now.

5. I wrote in a journal every day during high school. Looking back, they’re the most embarrassing things ever…I had to dispose of a couple. Journaling is really therapeutic. Maybe that’s why I come on here.

6. There was a period in my life where I ran for an hour and ate under 1000 calories every day. It only lasted a year, because really, who can do that for so long? It will catch up with you. It started small, just by eating healthy and exercising, but then it turned into “how far can I push my body?”, “how much weight can I lose?” I didn’t do it out of depression–more out of boredom. I went to college in Utah for 1 and 1/2 years, came home, went to community college, and was bored. Good to know that I can really buckle down and lose a lot of weight if I want to, but I think I’m fine how I am now.

7. I’m an anti-feminist. I wouldn’t mind if men were in charge of everything. I would much prefer having babies, cleaning, cooking, and staying at home than working. I would be fine if women weren’t allowed to vote, compete in the olympics, or run for president. Is that weird? Yes. I mean, I think its awesome that women have done so many great things and fought for their freedoms, but they’re just making life harder for us.

8. I like to bake, but I’m still learning to cook. Cooking is so hard, guys. Why didn’t I ever learn this important skill? It’s hard to mess up baking because the recipes are so exact. It’s almost fool proof. Unless you leave something in the oven for too long and it burns. I’m guilty of that. There’s more experimenting and guessing in cooking…and that scares me.

9. I love nostalgia. I am constantly watching old 90’s shows on youtube and playing video games that I had in 4th grade. It feels good to go back to a simpler time; When I only had to worry about beating a level in Mario 64, and not about the bills. Okay, lets be serious, I still don’t worry about the bills.

10. Freak shows intrigue me like none other. By “freak shows” I mean anything on TLC basically. Hoarders, the Tree Man, bearded ladies, The Elephant Man, Simon Birch, siamese twins, etc. I know I seem like the worst person, but I don’t watch to make fun of them. I’m just so fascinated that people live their lives with such crazy outward appearances. They definitely humble me and make me realize how lucky I am. I have to admit that they’re captivating.

Whew! That was actually more difficult than I thought it would be. Who knew talking about myself would be so exhausting?!?!

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