My Favorite Movie Kids

I would’ve posted this piece to my other blog Kidz Showz, but it didn’t seem appropriate. Especially since some of the “kids” might be 20 and others might be from R-rated movies. Kidz Showz is a pure blog and I don’t want to be the one who tarnishes it. Although, it’s tarnished in many, many other ways.

The following names are some of my favorite weird kids from movies (not TV!):

Clifford from the movie Clifford. I don’t care who judges me, I think Martin Short plays a pretty funny adolescent. I always liked Clifford because he behaved sweetly in front of adults, but tormented his Uncle Martin to no end. Clifford is the definition of passive-aggressive, which is hilarious if you don’t have to deal with that kind of behavior in real life. He also has a green dinosaur toy named Stephen as his companion throughout the movie.

Dawn Wiener from the movie Welcome to the Doll House. Perhaps one of the most tragic souls of all is Dawn Wiener aka Wienerdog. The kids at school torment her to no end, calling her “lesbo” and “dog face”, which prove to supply her with names to call her little sister. She has a crush on one of the members of her older brother’s band, has the saddest fashion sense of all time, and cuts the heads of off her sister’s barbie dolls. She’s basically my idol.

Harold from the movie Harold and Maude. Harold isn’t technically a kid, but he’s a great character. And he’s also pretty young compared to his movie counterpart Maude. Harold is a privileged only child who enjoys cemeteries, funerals, and faking his own suicide. His life is revolved around death until he meets Maude, lover of life. Maude teaches Harold how to be carefree and happy. They save trees, walk through fields of daisies, and sing together.

Marcus Brewer from the movie About A Boy. Marcus is the definition of odd-ball but only because his vegan mother raised him that way. He sports a bowl-cut, sings with his eyes closed, and tries to find happiness in his life even though his mother recently attempted suicide. Luckily he meets Will, an adult with no responsibilities, living the easy life. Hesitant at first, Will spends time with Marcus and gets to know the cool kid that’s deep inside him.

Matilda from the movie Matilda. It was between Matilda and Sara from The Little Princess. But Sara was too normal. Matilda was abnormal in that she had special powers that helped her survive her crappy school and even crappier family. But much like Sara, Matilda was sugary sweet and a bit daring. In this Roald Dahl classic, Matilda’s world is filled with people who are self-centered (her parents, her principal…almost all the adults in the movie) until she meets her teacher Miss Honey. This semi-dark children’s story taught me that if you’re blessed with magic powers, everything will eventually turn out fine.

Who are some of your favorite movie kids?

Summer Favorites

If you don’t already know, I’ve made seasonal lists explaining what my favorite things are. I have one for last Fall, Winter, and Spring. They may be a little out-dated now, but still worth a looksy.

1. Reality Cooking Shows. I usually have no interest in watching people slave over a hot kitchen. Especially when their delicious food isn’t available for me to stuff in my mouth. BUT, I’ve really been into Hell’s Kitchen, Food Network Star, and…um…Top Chef…Canada. They’re all great for different reasons. Hell’s Kitchen is awesome because it’s basically Gordon Ramsay telling the competitors to “piss off”. Food Network Star is good because it’s kind of like Top Chef, where they have creative food challenges, but the competitors are fighting for their own show on Food Network. Which is a crazy big prize. So not only do they have to be good at cookin, but they have to be good lookin too. Just kidding. They have to act natural in front of the camera. But being good looking should also be part of the criteria.

Chef Ramsay doing what he does best.

2. New email accounts. No, I’m not going to share my password with you, but I am going to use this as an explanation of why I’ve been so distant. Around the time that I wrote my 200th post, I changed my email server from AOL to Gmail. YES, I still had AOL after all this time. I swear I was one of the only ones. Why change a good thing? Well, AOL became slow and annoying. I honestly never want to hear “You’ve Got Mail!” ever again. Unfortunately, when I changed my email, I think I messed up my WP subscriptions. I haven’t been getting any emails when someone writes a new post, so I’m sorry if I haven’t been to your blog in a bit–I’m taking a mini vacation.

3. Mini Vacations! It’s been a long time since I’ve been on vaycay. And by long, I mean it’s been about a year. So it’s actually been a normal amount of time. BUT I’ve been planning a fun getaway with my fam. Nothing too crazy or abnormal. I’m keeping it a secret though until I get back because I want it to be a surprise when I write all about it.

4. Roald Dahl’s Collected Short Stories. You guys know how I feel about short stories. Roald Dahl was a master of them. I’m eating up this book–every single story is good. I don’t know how he did it. Some of Roald Dahl’s most popular stories are, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, James and the Giant Peach, The Witches, and Fantastic Mr. Fox. Those are all great stories. But the tales in his book make my stomach turn at the end of each one. He had a very dark sense of humor, so naturally I have a huge crush on him. Yes, he’s dead.

5. Super Paper Mario. Some of you may be familiar with the game Super Mario. Other, more experienced gamers may have heard of Paper Mario (N64), but only the coolest gamers (me) have played Super Paper Mario. This is a game for the Wii system. It’s pretty fun because you can change the graphics to go back and forth between 2D and 3D. I would recommend it if you like Mario games. The only downfall is the storyline which is so annoying. There’s so much explanation after you finish each section of the game. Ughh.

Cool graphics, right?

6. Not Watching The Tour de France.

90’s Movies That Can Salvage Any Bad Childhood

Movie makers in the 90’s truly understood the generation that they were aiming to please–my generation. Nothing that bad could really happen in your childhood while you were watching a movie. No one disrupts a child with it’s eyes glued to the tube. At least I don’t.

I’m definitely not saying that I had a bad childhood. I had one of the best, if not the best. That’s right, I said it, my childhood was better than yours. These movies helped shape my younger years. They’re creative, funny, and make you feel good. Any 90’s child, or parent of a 90’s child would agree.

The Sandlot (93). Boys, baseball, the 60’s…what more could you want in a flick? The best part, at least in my opinion, is that they don’t focus on the game of baseball that much. That would be a snore-fest. The movie’s main character, Scott Smalls, moves to a new neighborhood where he comes across a group of boys that play baseball in an abandoned lot all day, every day. Smalls doesn’t even know how to throw a baseball, but he soon befriends the leader of the group and becomes one of the guys. It’s a fun-filled story. Plus, there are some great lines. Like the famous, “You’re killin’ me Smalls!”

Jumanji (95). Jumanji oh my lord almighty, Jumanji. This movie was genius. I tried introducing it to my husband yesterday and he said it was “alright.” Ummm excusez moi? Unfortunately Jumanji‘s main character is played by Robin Williams. But don’t worry, he doesn’t really make any weird noises like he does in Mrs. Doubtfire (another 90’s classic)–Dave Coulier style. The story revolves around a board game that’s alive, in a sense. Every time someone rolls, a new danger comes out of the game-forcing the players into a crazy whirlwind of events. Bonnie Hunt is in it. She totally knew what was up in the 90’s.

Heavy Weights(95). This movie was perfect for all of those 90’s kids who thought they were fat. Or for all those kids that actually were fat. Ben Stiller was at his prime in this flick. He plays Tony Perkis, the new manager of what was once an awesome fat camp. He turns it into hell for these chubby guys. The campers lock Tony up and hilarity ensues. This movie made me want to go to an all-boys fat camp.

It's impossible to feel bad about your bod after watching this flick.

Home Alone (90). If you were a 90’s child and your parents never introduced you to Home Alone, I’m sorry but that’s reason enough to call the child abuse hotline. Every kid has wanted the freedom to be home alone. Except me. I was terrified of being left alone, forgotten, or having to live with some other family. Remember how I told you I had the perfect childhood? Yeah, I was literally scared that I would have to be part of some other, lesser family. Kevin McCallister showed me that being home alone can be awesome. You can eat whatever you want, watch The Grinch, and go through your brother’s possessions–“Buzz’s girlfriend, woof!” Kevin outsmarts burglars all by himself and ends up probably having a better vacation than his stupid family in Paris. Who goes to Paris for Christmas? Kevin, your family is what the french call, les incompetents.

Me, every day since I was able to stay home alone.

Cool Runnings (93). Man, ’93 and ’95 were good years for kid’s movies. Not only is Cool Runnings an awesome story, it’s based on a true story! AND John Candy is in it. He was also in Home Alone, but I mean…He, Bonnie Hunt, and Robin Williams all sold their souls to the gods of the 90’s.  The movie is about a Jamaican bobsled team. That’s pretty much the extent of it. It teaches kids that anyone can be a bobsledder. It also teaches you that you won’t always win. Even if you travel all the way from Jamaica to participate in the Winter Olympics in Calgary, Alberta. Remember kids, there’s always a big chance that you’ll lose.

Matilda (96). Matilda is the awesome story about a normal girl with magical powers. Her parents were played by Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman. Matilda looked surprisingly normal despite having them for parents. She went to an elementary school with a super scary principle, Miss Trunchbull. The story is whimsical and teaches kids that if their parents abuse them, one of their nice teachers will probably adopt them some day.

Hope these lightened your day as much as they did for my childhood!