Depressing Morrissey Lyrics for Valentine’s Day

For those of you who haven’t found love, or who have found love and hate the person now–this is for you. The Smiths/Morrissey have some of the best lyrics. They’re so sharp and clever that they always put a smile on my face even though they’re totally depressing. So without further blabbing, this one’s for you:

“Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said I’d like to smash every tooth in your head/Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said by rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed.” (Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths)

“And you have never been in love until you’ve seen the dawn rise behind the Home for the Blind[…]You have never been in love until you’ve seen the sunlight thrown over smashed human bone.” (First of the Gang to Die by Morrissey)

In my life why do I give valuable time to people who don’t care if I live or die?/Two lovers entwined pass me by and heaven knows I’m miserable now/In my life why do I smile at people who I’d much rather kick in the eye?” (Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by The Smiths)

“She told me she loved me which means she must be insane/They said they respect me which means their judgement is crazy/He said he wants to befriend me which means he can’t possibly know me.” (How Can Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel? by Morrissey)

“So, goodbye please stay with your own kind and I’ll stay with mine. And “love” is just a miserable lie/ you have destroyed my flower-like life not once – twice/ you have corrupted my innocent mind not once – twice.” (Miserable Lie by The Smiths)

“So what difference does it make? It makes none, but now you have gone and you must be looking very old tonight.” (What Difference Does It Make? by The Smiths)

“Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me no hope – but no harm just another false alarm.” (Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me by The Smiths)

And a romantic one…just for good measure:

“And if a double-decker bus crashes in to us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die. And if a ten ton truck kills the both of us, to die by your side, well the pleasure, the privilege is mine.” (There is a Light that Never Goes Out by The Smiths)

Forever Traumatized

I’m a fan of scary movies. Granted, I’m always the one in the theater with my feet up on the seat, hiding behind my knees and whispering to the person next to me “Tell me when it’s over.” Afterwards, I go home and run as fast as I can to my bed because I don’t want any murders to get me. We all know blankets are the best form of protection. No one’s gonna get me if I’m safe in my bed! So realistic.

It’s funny because I can watch really gross stuff, but some of the most tame things can frighten me. Every now and then certain scenes from movies or TV shows will register with me in such a negative way that I won’t be able to ever erase them from my memory. A lot of the time they aren’t even scary. They’re just super bizarre and my brain can’t take it.

I’m going to share some music videos that have slightly disturbed me over the years. Laugh all you want, but just know that my dreams are being haunted.

Don’t Come Around Here No More – Tom Petty. This is a great song. But I simply cannot deal with a real life Alice in Wonderland turning into cake and being eaten by a Mad Hatter Tom Petty. In no way is that right. Tom Petty’s face is scary enough already. But when he’s in an oversize outfit and drinking an abnormally large tea, I just feel uncomfortable.

Land of Confusion – Genesis. Everything about this makes me want to throw up on Genesis. Why would they put these images in my head? First of all, puppets are scary as hell. Just no. The only thing I can stand puppets in is the movie The Labyrinth. Only because David Bowie’s greatness (barely) negates the atrocity of using puppets as actors. The only thing worse than one puppet, is hundreds of puppets. And that’s basically what Land of Confusion is–a lot of puppets. Which genius thought of that idea? A world full of puppets is what I imagine hell to be like. Jim Henson is clearly messed up and has absolutely no friends. Jason Segel is unfortunately following in his footsteps. I thought there was hope for him. But nope. He’s doing weird Muppet movies, so now he’s on my list of questionable people.

Tonight Tonight – The Smashing Pumpkins. There are things about this music video that I appreciate. I love the song. I also like that they’re paying homage to one of the first movies ever made, A Trip to the Moon (1902). Yeah, that’s right, I took Film Crit. The moon in both the movie and the music video is one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen. Hands down. A blurry, old-fashioned Billy Corgan and crew play their instruments lethargically in the night sky, outlined by stars. There is honestly no other way to describe it.

The lead couple in the video journey to the moon and are attacked by moon imps. They end up  jumping to the bottom of the ocean where they’re attacked by a fish and eventually saved by Poseidon (or Neptune if you’re Roman). The whole thing is just too much for me to handle during this delicate stage in my life.

I’m sure there are an insane amount of creepy music videos. But these really make me cry inside. Has anything that you’ve seen freaked you out lately?