Animals, Vacation, victoria b.c.

Being A Tour Guide

Let me just start off by saying that I have no experience in being a tour guide. I got my degree in History (it’s useless) and one of the jobs that people recommended to me was tour guiding. Really? That’s the job you think I should do? I mean, yeah I’m funny and entertaining, and people would definitely pay to follow me around for the day, but having people depend on me for a good time is just way too much pressure.

My p-rents are coming into town tonight. And by tonight I mean midnight. So I don’t have to worry about planning anything today. Whew! I know that their main reason for coming is to see me, but I also want them to have a good time as well. Luckily Victoria has a lot of coolio activities for us to do. What I’m really dreading though, is the weather. Weather is so scary. You just have to hope for the best. Unless you’re Storm. I feel like Storm kind of got gypped out of a good super power. Like, whooo you can make lightning! I don’t know, I just think she’s kind of lame. Plus her hair is white and she’s only in her 30’s. Yikes Storm, yikes. Invest in some hair dye and get that under control.

Does she make any other weather besides lightning?

Like any good tour guide, I’ll take my parents to my apartment. I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m with a tour guide I always wonder what their living conditions are like. I mean, they can’t make that much dough. They’re pretty much like starving artists without actually being artists. Hopefully my parents will marvel at how nicely my husband and I have made our place look. I’m sure they’ll be full of awe that I haven’t burnt the place down yet.

Next, I’ll probably take them around the little village by my house. Once you walk down the street that the village is on, you’ll be at the ocean. There’s a dog park there, so that should take up some time as well. My family can be distracted by animals for hours on end. Dogs are awesome. Especially other people’s dogs. You get to enjoy them, without taking care of them! It’s pretty much a win-win.

I think only doing two activities per day is good. Not too many, but not too few. Plus, with lunch and dinner, and then some relaxation time, the day is pretty much over. The next day should be spent downtown methinks. I know how much my parents have missed buying me things, so it’ll be my treat to pick out some things for them to purchase.

I also want to take them to Fisherman’s Wharf to feed the seals. Seriously guys, it’s all about the animal activities! Seals are awesome to look at because they have cute faces and they’re all blubbery. And they’re super selfish. Which is always entertaining. Getting to feed animals is even better because then you really feel like you’re part of the circle of life. I swear the circle consists of me buying smelly fish and tossing it to those wide-eyed seals. Afterwards we can get fish and chips and pretend that we live in house boats.

Look at his body. JUST LOOK AT IT.

Sooner or later I’ll have to take them to my place of work, the museum. And if you think the museum pays me, you’re sorely mistaken. This seems like a rainy day activity. No one wants to walk around a museum while the sun is shining. Unfortunately, my rents are coming between exhibitions so they won’t even see anything super unique. We just had a wildlife photography exhibit that was awesome (it literally filled me with awe) but it ended a couple weeks ago. And our dinosaur exhibit doesn’t start until mid-May. Too bad I couldn’t continue my animal trend.

And lastly I might throw in a trip to Butchart’s Gardens. It’s a super beautiful place full of flowers and trees and ponds…okay full of gardens. I’ve only been there during Christmas for their light-show, but I’ve heard great things about their flowers! Flowers make people feel like life really has a purpose (which it does!). I imagine it to play out like some scene from Alice in Wonderland where all the flowers start singing “On a Golden Afternoon” or something of the like.

I forgot how scary the flower's faces were! The back left one is going to haunt my dreams.

Sounds like my parents are in for an eventful trip! What do you like to do when you tour people around your home town?


Store Brand vs. Name Brand

I’m slowly getting used to my husband’s reluctance in purchasing name brand goods. I’ve grown up thinking that no one possibly buys the other no-name brands. They must be there for decoration. Now that I know how money works (it’s only taken me 24 years, guys) I’ve been noticing all the sweet deals you can get when you buy store brand (or poor brand as I like to call it).

Store brand shopping is tricky. I was in the habit of telling myself that if something’s more expensive, it’s probably better quality. This is not always true. But it usually is.

Also, I’m a sucker for good packaging. Store brands have the worst appearance. They just don’t look good. Which would you rather buy?

Just for the record, mayo is disgusting.

This brand really went all-out on their look.

The bottom picture’s brand is actually called No Name. I almost have to laugh at that. But it takes more than that to make me laugh. There’s a warehouse type grocery store here that sells a lot of No Name food. I’ve actually purchased a couple of their items. Their chicken nuggets aren’t bad, but their tortilla chips are. It just depends, I guess. I was really proud of myself for eating cheap chicken nuggets. That was a big step for me. Soon enough my ghetto transformation will be complete.

One of my favorite store brands is from an English grocery store called Sainsbury’s. I have so many good memories there. Sainsbury’s Basic brand knows it’s crap, and it tells you so right on the packaging. Here are some gems:

"A little less tidy, still a great pick." Is it though? Why couldn't you have made it tidier?

That cat looks like he wants to kill himself.

"Still rises to the occasion" is kind of cute, but I still wouldn't purchase this product.

I can’t help it if I like the finer things in life. Food is too important to mess around with. If I’m gonna partake in a calorie fest, it better taste like heaven.

That is all.