Thanksgiving Weekend

As Thanksgiving weekend comes to a close, I thought this would be appropriate:

People Named Lily Who Aren’t As Cool As Me

The title of this post pretty much says it all. The name Lily is becoming more and more popular which means that there are more and more people making a disgrace of what it means to be a Lily. Let’s explore some people who have been blessed with a beautiful name, but have tarnished it in one way or another.

Lily Allen. I don’t mind Lily Allen as much as one would assume. I definitely think she could look cuter–she’s been in fashion police one too many times for a fellow Lily. Her dad is a musician so it’s safe to assume that she played the nepotism card. I don’t disapprove of this as much as I do of her fake accent. She puts on a bit of a rougher East End accent which is unfortunate. Don’t dumb yourself down! Her lyrics and melodies are fun, but she hasn’t won a Grammy so it’s impossible for me to be fully proud of her. She did win a Download Music Award though. Whatever that means.

The one and only good picture of her.

Lily Collins. Daughter of yep…Phil Collins. Okay I think Lily Collins is really pretty. She has crazy eyebrows which I’m kind of jealous of. But then I remember that her dad is Phil Collins and I’m like okay ew. She’s starting to embrace a career in acting. You might remember her as the daughter in The Blind Side. Remember how her name was Collins in the movie? It all makes sense now! She was also in that really bad movie with Taylor Lautner called Abduction that no one had to see in order to know that it was really bad. Now she’s playing Snow White in Mirror Mirror, not to be confused with the similar film Snow White and the Huntsman. Despite Mirror Mirror adding even less credibility to her resume than Abduction, I’d rather accept her into the Lily club than the lead in Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen “I look like I’m going to barf” Stewart.

Those brows!

Lily-Rose Melody Depp. Yes, Johnny Depp’s daughter. Lily-Rose literally has no accomplishments. She’s a girl after my own heart, really. Johnny Depp is the only one that adds any credit to her existence. It’s possible that she’ll grow up being exclusively in Tim Burton films and having a huge gap-toothed smile like her mom, Vanessa Paradis.

Lily Tomlin. What Lily Tomlin lacks in good looks, she definitely makes up for in talent and humor. At least she’s been in roles that are recognizable! She’s been in almost every TV show from Frasier to Sesame Street to Desperate Housewives. My only problem with this is that she seems kind of desperate. Slow down crazy, slow down! You’re old so you don’t really need money or things any more so why don’t you just relax and chill out?

And for the love of all that is holy, get a makeover.

Lily Cole. She’s a model/actor. She could have won one of those Slashie awards in Zoolander! She’s got a really unique face, but she ruins it by being a super ginger. BUT she’s 5′ 10 so she’s definitely helping the tall Lily population. Lily Cole goes to Cambridge, so she’s like, really smart. BUT she posed nude in Playboy. She’s only been in one really big movie which was The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. As much time as it takes to figure out how to pronounce the title, is about the same length as the movie itself–3 hours. You also feel like you’re on Ecstasy the whole time. And Heath Ledger killed himself during the making of the movie because he hated it so much. True story.

Honorable Mention: Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother. I know that Lily Aldrin isn’t a real person, but she’s doing a lot of harm to the name Lily. The character is played by Alyson “no lips” Hannigan. Another ginger. I like that in the show she’s married to Jason Segel’s character Marshall. Unfortunately, during her college years she was goth–dyed black hair and all. She’s just a really weird character and she never has any good lines. At least none that I can remember since the last time I watched it in 2009.

Is there any celebrity that shares your name that really disrespects everything your name stands for?

The Story of Us

Yes, that’s a Taylor Swift song. I’m too lazy to think of another title. I’m also too lazy to think of a creative Valentine’s Day themed blog post, so I’m going to copy everyone else and tell the story of how Paul and I met.

I went to Utah State University for a year and a half. My first year was really great. I loved my friends, my school, where I lived–everything! The next year, everyone split up and it wasn’t the same. I mean, it was good, but it wasn’t the best! One of our new roommates stole money from me (I ended up getting it back). After that, my parents asked me if I wanted to come home. I said yes.

I went to a community college close to my house for a semester so I could figure things out. I was thinking about transferring to DePaul in Lincoln Park downtown. I wasn’t sure about the whole thing (I have trouble making decisions). My parents told me that the community college had a study abroad program in Canterbury and that I should go for a semester and figure things out. I thought about it, but I wasn’t really feeling it. A couple days before the plane left for the study abroad, my parents were like, “Just go! You’ll have the best time!” So I decided to go. And I’m really glad I did.

I met all sorts of great friends on my trip. I laughed my way through Europe. It was seriously my favorite semester of all time. In my study abroad group were 3 Canadian students. They invited me over to their dorm all the time. They introduced me to their roommate, Paul. He was Canadian too and a full-time student. Not a study abroad joker like us.

My friends and I arrived in Canterbury on September 13th so my birthday (Oct. 5th) rolled around pretty soon after we got there. I was turning 21, which doesn’t really matter in England, but in the States it’s a pretty big one! I gave all of my friends invitations to come down to my favorite pub, The Jolly Sailor. On my Canadian friend’s invitation, I wrote at the bottom “Tell Paul to come too!”

All of my friends were there, but there wasn’t any sight of Paul. I was having a lot of fun because everyone was celebrating my existence, so it wasn’t a super big deal. Later that night Paul showed up! He was at tennis practice (seriously, tennis instead of my birthday?!). I walked up to him and gave him a hug. I was slightly intoxicated, but not by choice! Everyone was buying me birthday drinks, so I couldn’t turn them down! I told him that I was really glad that he came to my party. He told me that he thought I was beautiful.

So happy!

Even though we had only met a couple times before my birthday, Paul telling me I was beautiful made me so happy. It was sincere and sweet and I instantly fell in love. The next day I told everyone I knew that I was in love with Paul. Well, I actually said, “I think I like Paul” or something eloquent like that. I decided that if my study abroad ended on December 13th, I was going to use all of my time to ensure that Paul would feel the same way about me by hanging out with him as much as possible.

As the days grew closer to my flight home, I grew more and more depressed. Would I ever see Paul again? What will I do when I go home? Why can’t I just stay here and be with someone I love in a place that I love? Why do fools fall in love?!

When I came home I literally wilted. I stayed at home, ate a lot, watched a lot of tv, and went online all the time so I could talk to Paul.

My parents were like, “Umm why don’t you just go back to England and finish out your degree there?” And I was like, “WAIT. I can do that?”

So I packed up my bags and finished my degree in Canterbury. Paul ended up feeling the same way that I did except that my my emotions were 10x what his were because I’m a girl.

In our 3rd and final year of school together Paul asked me to marry him. Now we would never be apart! We got married on August 20th, 2011. This is our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple.

I know you’re reading this at work, Paul. I love you so much and I’m so lucky to have you in my life!

Lilypad and Paulywog

Canadian Cuisine: Is there such a thing?

Last night Paul and I ventured to the grocery store to get some eggs. I decided to bring my camera to document all of the creepy stuff that we see. It was almost too much to handle.

Lets see…what do I need…eggs, milk, MILLET. Seriously who would buy millet? I don’t even know what it is to be completely honest. I’m pretty sure it’s just crumbs though. Didn’t people eat that in like, the 1920’s when they had no other choice? Isn’t it like a food from the great depression? It looks like something you would feed chickens.

Seriously? A huge dispenser of bacon bits? What genius made this? I just want to put my head under the spout and live my dream. Nice one Canada, nice one.

Okay sorry, but in the real world these are called Smarties….not Rockets.

I don’t know what Roti Flour is but I want it. That woman looks like she genuinely wants to give me food. Also, I think she has henna on her face, which is pretty impressive. That stuff doesn’t wash off for at least a week.

This gives me nightmares of the hockey game. Why is it necessary to have beavers on everything? Also, this kind of reminds me of that Nickelodeon show Angry Beavers. Good show. Not so sure about the drink though.

I am certain that we do not have these in the US. Come on Canada. Really though? They actually look decent. I want some.

Would you EVER eat food made by Dads? Especially cookies? No. WORST company name of all time.

You know what I want? Some chips. You know what I really don’t want? Ketchup flavored chips.  I used to respect Lays.

And lets not forget homogenized milk. Which Canada has just decided to call Homo Milk. Hmm I’m having trouble deciding whether this is offensive or perfect.

Was this really necessary? Its the SAME edition as the US. Just stop.

EDIT: These pictures decided to arrange themselves in a crazy manner. Not my fault.