My title doesn’t really make sense, but I’m a sucker for alliteration so whatever.
Yesterday I was cleaning out our PVR (It was stocked with Beachcombers reruns and Nazi movies…I’ll give you a guess who recorded those) when I saw that we had that old Kirsten Dunst/Paul Bettany movie, Wimbledon. I’d never seen it and I happened to have 6 hours of free time on my hands so I thought why the hell not?
The movie itself was cute, but I thought it was a little convenient. There’s no way that a tennis player who’s ranked 115 in the world would ever be able to beat one of the highest ranked players of all time. I mean, it’s possible, but so rare that it seemed slightly unlikely for the movie to end that way.
Later that night Paul (not Paul Bettany, but Paul my husband) and I were watching the first day of actual Wimbledon and my eyes almost popped out of my head. One of the currently ranked best players in the game was being beaten by a nobody. This lucky guy was ranked maybe 120? AND he actually looked like Paul Bettany. I feel like I willed this twist of events to happen by watching the film Wimbledon. My bad.
This kind of thing never happens so that’s why I’m taking all the fault credit.
Movie makers in the 90’s truly understood the generation that they were aiming to please–my generation. Nothing that bad could really happen in your childhood while you were watching a movie. No one disrupts a child with it’s eyes glued to the tube. At least I don’t.
I’m definitely not saying that I had a bad childhood. I had one of the best, if not the best. That’s right, I said it, my childhood was better than yours. These movies helped shape my younger years. They’re creative, funny, and make you feel good. Any 90’s child, or parent of a 90’s child would agree.
The Sandlot (93). Boys, baseball, the 60’s…what more could you want in a flick? The best part, at least in my opinion, is that they don’t focus on the game of baseball that much. That would be a snore-fest. The movie’s main character, Scott Smalls, moves to a new neighborhood where he comes across a group of boys that play baseball in an abandoned lot all day, every day. Smalls doesn’t even know how to throw a baseball, but he soon befriends the leader of the group and becomes one of the guys. It’s a fun-filled story. Plus, there are some great lines. Like the famous, “You’re killin’ me Smalls!”
Jumanji (95). Jumanji oh my lord almighty, Jumanji. This movie was genius. I tried introducing it to my husband yesterday and he said it was “alright.” Ummm excusez moi? Unfortunately Jumanji‘s main character is played by Robin Williams. But don’t worry, he doesn’t really make any weird noises like he does in Mrs. Doubtfire (another 90’s classic)–Dave Coulier style. The story revolves around a board game that’s alive, in a sense. Every time someone rolls, a new danger comes out of the game-forcing the players into a crazy whirlwind of events. Bonnie Hunt is in it. She totally knew what was up in the 90’s.
Heavy Weights(95). This movie was perfect for all of those 90’s kids who thought they were fat. Or for all those kids that actually were fat. Ben Stiller was at his prime in this flick. He plays Tony Perkis, the new manager of what was once an awesome fat camp. He turns it into hell for these chubby guys. The campers lock Tony up and hilarity ensues. This movie made me want to go to an all-boys fat camp.
It's impossible to feel bad about your bod after watching this flick.
Home Alone (90). If you were a 90’s child and your parents never introduced you to Home Alone, I’m sorry but that’s reason enough to call the child abuse hotline. Every kid has wanted the freedom to be home alone. Except me. I was terrified of being left alone, forgotten, or having to live with some other family. Remember how I told you I had the perfect childhood? Yeah, I was literally scared that I would have to be part of some other, lesser family. Kevin McCallister showed me that being home alone can be awesome. You can eat whatever you want, watch The Grinch, and go through your brother’s possessions–“Buzz’s girlfriend, woof!” Kevin outsmarts burglars all by himself and ends up probably having a better vacation than his stupid family in Paris. Who goes to Paris for Christmas? Kevin, your family is what the french call, les incompetents.
Me, every day since I was able to stay home alone.
Cool Runnings (93). Man, ’93 and ’95 were good years for kid’s movies. Not only is Cool Runnings an awesome story, it’s based on a true story! AND John Candy is in it. He was also in Home Alone, but I mean…He, Bonnie Hunt, and Robin Williams all sold their souls to the gods of the 90’s. The movie is about a Jamaican bobsled team. That’s pretty much the extent of it. It teaches kids that anyone can be a bobsledder. It also teaches you that you won’t always win. Even if you travel all the way from Jamaica to participate in the Winter Olympics in Calgary, Alberta. Remember kids, there’s always a big chance that you’ll lose.
Matilda (96). Matilda is the awesome story about a normal girl with magical powers. Her parents were played by Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman. Matilda looked surprisingly normal despite having them for parents. She went to an elementary school with a super scary principle, Miss Trunchbull. The story is whimsical and teaches kids that if their parents abuse them, one of their nice teachers will probably adopt them some day.
Hope these lightened your day as much as they did for my childhood!