Judging, Music

What’s In A Name?

A little bird (aka the internet) just told me that rap legend (I’m using the term legend super loosely these days) Snoop Dogg is making some changes. He’s changing the genre of his music from rap to reggae as well as his image. Basically just picture Snoop Dogg in a rasta hat with sunglasses. The most important change is his name. Snoop Dogg has changed his stage name (surprising right? I thought that was his birth name too…) to Snoop Lion. Just let that sink in for a minute. Say it out loud if you have to. It took me a while to get used to it, but it took me a while to get used to Snoop Dogg too. A while = my entire life.

Snoop Lion’s new image.

I’m probably just bitter because my official rap name would be Lil’ Lil and well…yeah. Can’t really do anything with that one. The thing I don’t understand is how people change their names. Like, your name is what people know you by. It’s what YOU know you by. I’m all for nicknames. Nicknames are fun and cool. But changing how people know you is just too weird.

I know a couple of people who have changed their names. Actually, one of them changed their name to Lily. This the effect I have on people. They just want to be me. I’m joking of course. But seriously.

How can people in the media change their names? Remember Puff Daddy? Of course you don’t. He changed his name to Puffy, then P.Diddy, then Diddy. Who knows what he’s called now. Guy with tons of money? Guy that once dated JLO? That reminds me–JLO, you slut. You changed your name too! Well, kinda. JLO is more of a nickname. But still. Just be Jennifer Lopez. Okay, I’ll level with you, Jennifer is a super boring name. No offense to anyone else named Jennifer. But tons of offense to the person that named you Jennifer.

Epitome of class.

Countless celebrities have changed their names. I guess to make it easier on us common folk. For example, Woody Allen sounds way better than Allen Konigsberg. Well, it sounds less Jewish at least. I don’t understand why celebs change their names to something super weird though. Like Whoopi Goldberg. Really? That’s the name you choose for yourself? Her birth name was Caryn Johnson. Super normal. Except for the fact that Caryn is spelled like a third grader tried to sound it out, but whatevs.

Two musicians whose name changes I allow and fully embrace are Farrokh Bulsara (Freddy Mercury) and Reginald Dwight (Elton John). Good choices on the stage names. For what it’s worth, I’m pretty sure Farrokh Bulsara translates to “best voice ever”. And Reginald Dwight translates to “huge gap tooth”.