Possible New Monopoly Pieces

I just want to bring attention to the fact that I honestly don’t care about Monopoly pieces and that this shouldn’t even be a news story, but we live in a time where anything is interesting. We’re so desperate for something entertaining that we’ll stoop to watching an Armenian family with big butts and lots of money.

Parker Bros (or whatever brand Monopoly is under…I’m really doing my research here) has decided to do away with the iron playing piece in the Monopoly game. All I can say is THANK GOODNESS. Who wants to be stuck with the iron? It’s cruel, really. They were then puzzled about what the new piece should be so they let the internet vote on what the general populous would accept as the newest member to the board game. Surprisingly enough they chose a cat. If you thought cats had it good in real life, they live like kings on the internet. Millions of pages are devoted to them, so it’s no wonder that the people of the interwebz would choose a feline as their top pick.

I guess I wasn’t around on voting day, because I have some other suggestions for new and current pieces that I could see being loved by family members young and old.

I think Suri Cruise would be a good piece because she symbolizes the American Dream and that’s what Monopoly is really all about. Just to be clear, the American Dream is being born into a family with lots of money (preferably famous) so that you never have to work a day in your life. In turn, you’ll be able to look down on the poor common folk with disgust. It’s a beautiful thing.

Another good piece would be an iPhone or an iPad or just the Macintosh symbol. It would gently move the board game into the 21st century. Instead of plainly moving around the board like the other pieces, you could Instagram your hotels and SnapChat people that owed you money.

I was also thinking that hipster glasses would be a good piece because they would remind people that Monopoly is so mainstream and stupid. Why would anyone want to play a board game when they could listen to Edith Piaf on their record player while wearing an old band uniform from the 60’s that they found at the Goodwill?

Then I tried to think of something that symbolized the meaning of the game–to get rich. Black gold, Texas tea….duh. The BP oil spill would be a great piece. It would symbolize money, and losing money (which sometimes happens in the game), ruining animal’s lives (which happens with the building of hotels) and helplessness. I don’t know how you could get the whole oil spill into a playing piece, but I’m certain it would look really cool.

Lastly, I think Tina Fey’s facial scar would be a great piece. It would serve as a great reminder that even if you have lots of money and make people laugh, you still might have a gross scar on your face so maybe you should have a slice of humble pie. I don’t know what that has to do with Monopoly either.

Man’s Best Friend

I was on Pinterest the other day when I came across a family featured in Life Magazine for having a lion as a pet. Right when I was about to “pin” the amazing pictures on my Animals board, my iPad shut itself off. I think I would’ve been less mad if my finger got chopped off. I cannot trust my iPad for the life of me. Today I began to research the pictures again and found out that the family pictured wasn’t just any old family with a pet lion. It was Tippi Hedren’s family! If you are unaware of who Tippi Hedren is, she starred in the movie The Birds, among others, and is the mother to actress Melanie Griffith. If you still don’t know who she is, I honestly don’t blame you.

Apparently Tippi was engaged in a film set in Africa when she fell in love with lions. She wanted to start her own pride of lions and in order to do that, she decided to learn everything she could about them by living with one. I’m giving you the condensed version of the story. If you want to learn more about it, I found all of my information on this blog.

*These are not my pictures, I do not take credit for them. Obvs.*

Computer Lovin’

I don’t know about you guys, but I spend a lot of time on my computer. Whenever I’m babysitting or volunteering, I feel super detached. Like I’m missing out on all the fun stuff that’s happening online. But I also feel better about myself too–like I’m not completely dependent on my computer.

I have a strict computer routine. I always check my mail first. I’ve started to realize that I’m one of the only people left that uses an AOL account. Come on guys, tried and true! There’s something great about hearing “You’ve got mail!” when you wake up. It’s like I’m basically Meg Ryan. AOL has treated me well throughout the years. My screen name used to be Londonlady88. I was born in 87, but 88 just sounds better. AMIRITE?

Next I go on word press, read my comments, read other blogs, comment on other blogs, yadda yadda. You know the drill. This takes a while because I’m a slow reader and a long commenter. If I have something good to write about, I’ll write it in the morning, otherwise I’ll brainstorm and eventually ask someone what I should write about. I’m not creative at all.

Then I’ll go on facebook and poke around. Nothing new or cool happens there anymore. I used to be an avid facebook user. Not so much anymore. I’ve fought with myself about deleting it. The only reason I haven’t deleted it yet is because I want to get all of my pictures off of the site and onto my computer. Seems like so much work. I heard facebook won’t actually let anyone fully delete their account. Apparently you can only deactivate it. Mark Zuckerburg/Jessie Eisenberg is such a creep.

Twitter is a desperate attempt for online stimulation. There are some really funny people on there. So I like to read their 140 character quips. As you’ve probably already guessed, I’m pretty funny on twitter too, but I don’t have anywhere near the number of followers that I should. This is always depressing.

These guys usually make me laugh the most. I don't know any of them personally, but I wish I did.

Lastly, I’ll visit Pinterest so I can dream about what my life could be like. This is highly addictive. That’s why I save it for last, right when my computer is about to run out of battery. When this happens, I just give up on everything and go walk around outside.

There have been many times when Paul has come home and I have my computer on my lap. I look up and say, “Oh hey, how was work?!” and then I look down and start typing again. I’m pretty sure he loves this because he asked me if I love my computer more than him. I don’t think it’s fair to make me choose.

Giving Up and Giving In

My brosef and I discovering things. I'm the one with the cool helmet, obvs.

My brother and I have always liked to be the first to “discover” something. Whether it’s a new band, a movie, or a website, we want to be the first ones to know about it. Kind of like hipsters, I guess. The best part of being the first one to discover something is telling everyone you know about your new found source of entertainment. The worst part is when someone doesn’t site you as their main source.

For example, one time I told my brother about a song that I thought he would like. He listened to it and said that he hated it. A month later he put that song on one of his cds.

Me: I thought you hated this song.

Bro: Nope.

Me: Umm do you remember me playing it for you?

Bro: Nope.

Me: Well I did and you said you hated it. I showed it to you first.

Bro: Fine. I shower you with credit.

Getting credit is the ultimate goal. Most of our convos follow this same pattern. Me being excited by something, him not being excited by it, me getting frustrated, and then him making me laugh.

However, if I’m not the first to discover something, I don’t like to give into it. I wasn’t the first person I knew to get an iPhone, so I never got one. Now it feels too late to get one. Everyone has all these cool apps on their iPhone. I want to give in and get one, but nope. Not for me.

I tried to start reading Harry Potter after the movie came out and it just didn’t feel right. Tons of people had already read the book. I don’t want to be one of the stragglers, I want to be one of the founders! So I gave up on that too.

Just recently I have started to give in. I inherited an iPad. I feel like such a n00b when I use it. It’s fun playing Words With Friends and Temple Run (my high score is 1,400,000 just sayin’) but I can’t help feeling like I jumped on the bandwagon too late. What a follower.

I also started reading The Hunger Games. I don’t usually like to read books found in the teen section of Barnes & Noble, but it’s just so popular. I keep hearing how addictive it is so I’m just like UH OKAY FINE. So I’m reading it, and yes, it’s addicting. Plus I wanted to read it before the movie comes out so I can be one of those people who spots all the differences from the book and gets mad at the director.

Lastly, is Pinterest. Pinterest.com is like crack for women. It’s basically a virtual bulletin board of dreams. As gay as that sounds. I had heard people talking about it over and over so eventually, I gave in. And it’s everything I wished for and more.

I feel like I’m losing my cool factor. I haven’t been discovering any sweet new stuff recently. I’m just going to keep blaming it on Canada and try to move on.