Thanksgiving Weekend

As Thanksgiving weekend comes to a close, I thought this would be appropriate:

My Favorite Halloween Moments

Welp, it’s Halloween which means that my birthday month is coming to a close. The presidential debates did a great job of taking the attention off of me and ruining my 25th birthday month. I’d like to close this October with a holiday-themed post. The following are my favorite Halloween moments from movies and TV. And by movies, I mean movie because I only named one.

The Hilarity of a Clever Costume: On How I Met Your Mother, the main character, Ted, dresses up as a hanging chad for a Halloween party. When I first saw this episode I thought, “Wow this is show is so funny!” And it was…for the first couple episodes. Then it was just the same thing over and over. How many times can someone laugh at Neil Patrick Harris saying “Legen–wait for it–dary!” I mean, come on. But yeah, the hanging chad costume made it all worth it.

* In case you don’t know what a hanging chad is, it’s the term for a voting ballot that hasn’t been punched out all the way. People used to punch a hole in paper to signify who their vote went to. I know, archaic. Al Gore kind of started the whole hanging chad thing right around the time that he invented the internet.

Realizing It’s Mandatory to Dress like a Skank: In Mean Girls, Cady learns the hard way when she shows up at a Halloween party in a costume that’s actually somewhat scary. I’ve never been a total fan of slutty costumes, although I’m sure if I had a super hot bod I would. I mean, if you got it, flaunt it! What I’m saying is that I can understand why it’s fun for girls to dress that way. It’s fun and exciting and you get tons of attention. Nothing’s better than that, right?!….

Home-Made Costumes That You Can’t Move In: Sue Heck from The Middle is one of the saddest characters that I’ve ever seen portrayed on a show. And I don’t mean that she’s emotionally sad, in fact Sue is genuinely a happy person. She’s just one of those people that you feel bad for. When Halloween rolls around, Sue decides to go as a single die. Unfortunately when she arrives at a party she is bumped into, overlooked, and used as a tabletop to hold her peer’s drinks.

The Fun of Dressing Up with Your Friends and Trick-or-Treating: This is really what Halloween is all about. The boys in Freaks and Geeks are some of my favorite characters ever. There is honestly nothing better than rocking an awesome costume and going out with your friends. Even if one of your friends dresses as The Bionic Woman.

 

 

People Named Lily Who Aren’t As Cool As Me

The title of this post pretty much says it all. The name Lily is becoming more and more popular which means that there are more and more people making a disgrace of what it means to be a Lily. Let’s explore some people who have been blessed with a beautiful name, but have tarnished it in one way or another.

Lily Allen. I don’t mind Lily Allen as much as one would assume. I definitely think she could look cuter–she’s been in fashion police one too many times for a fellow Lily. Her dad is a musician so it’s safe to assume that she played the nepotism card. I don’t disapprove of this as much as I do of her fake accent. She puts on a bit of a rougher East End accent which is unfortunate. Don’t dumb yourself down! Her lyrics and melodies are fun, but she hasn’t won a Grammy so it’s impossible for me to be fully proud of her. She did win a Download Music Award though. Whatever that means.

The one and only good picture of her.

Lily Collins. Daughter of yep…Phil Collins. Okay I think Lily Collins is really pretty. She has crazy eyebrows which I’m kind of jealous of. But then I remember that her dad is Phil Collins and I’m like okay ew. She’s starting to embrace a career in acting. You might remember her as the daughter in The Blind Side. Remember how her name was Collins in the movie? It all makes sense now! She was also in that really bad movie with Taylor Lautner called Abduction that no one had to see in order to know that it was really bad. Now she’s playing Snow White in Mirror Mirror, not to be confused with the similar film Snow White and the Huntsman. Despite Mirror Mirror adding even less credibility to her resume than Abduction, I’d rather accept her into the Lily club than the lead in Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen “I look like I’m going to barf” Stewart.

Those brows!

Lily-Rose Melody Depp. Yes, Johnny Depp’s daughter. Lily-Rose literally has no accomplishments. She’s a girl after my own heart, really. Johnny Depp is the only one that adds any credit to her existence. It’s possible that she’ll grow up being exclusively in Tim Burton films and having a huge gap-toothed smile like her mom, Vanessa Paradis.

Lily Tomlin. What Lily Tomlin lacks in good looks, she definitely makes up for in talent and humor. At least she’s been in roles that are recognizable! She’s been in almost every TV show from Frasier to Sesame Street to Desperate Housewives. My only problem with this is that she seems kind of desperate. Slow down crazy, slow down! You’re old so you don’t really need money or things any more so why don’t you just relax and chill out?

And for the love of all that is holy, get a makeover.

Lily Cole. She’s a model/actor. She could have won one of those Slashie awards in Zoolander! She’s got a really unique face, but she ruins it by being a super ginger. BUT she’s 5′ 10 so she’s definitely helping the tall Lily population. Lily Cole goes to Cambridge, so she’s like, really smart. BUT she posed nude in Playboy. She’s only been in one really big movie which was The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. As much time as it takes to figure out how to pronounce the title, is about the same length as the movie itself–3 hours. You also feel like you’re on Ecstasy the whole time. And Heath Ledger killed himself during the making of the movie because he hated it so much. True story.

Honorable Mention: Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother. I know that Lily Aldrin isn’t a real person, but she’s doing a lot of harm to the name Lily. The character is played by Alyson “no lips” Hannigan. Another ginger. I like that in the show she’s married to Jason Segel’s character Marshall. Unfortunately, during her college years she was goth–dyed black hair and all. She’s just a really weird character and she never has any good lines. At least none that I can remember since the last time I watched it in 2009.

Is there any celebrity that shares your name that really disrespects everything your name stands for?

To Laugh or Not to Laugh

The other day I was watching a fine television program called Khloe and Lamar. During the episode, Lamar’s friend Jamie decides that he has what it takes to become and actor. Jamie shows how versatile he can be by demonstrating his Scarface impersonation and then his Robert De Niro impersonation. Is there no end to his talent?

On a radio show Jamie tells a really bad joke that he obviously heard somewhere else. It’s one thing if you steal a good joke, but when you steal a bad joke? Forgettaboutit. The radio hosts laugh a little too loudly and proceed to tell Jamie how funny he is. How many times do we do this? Tell someone they’re funny when they’re not. Laugh at someone’s joke to make them feel good. Are we doing it to because it’s what we’re supposed to do?

He's got a face for radio.

I’ve definitely found myself in situations where I say “That’s so funny!” but I’m not actually laughing. I think there was a How I Met Your Mother Episode about that once. No it was Scrubs. Definitely Scrubs. And the girl was played by Mandy Moore. She would only say “That’s so funny!” instead of actually laughing. Why is my mind filled up with this crap?

That looks like a fake laugh to me, Manders.

Sometimes, if I’m watching a funny movie by myself, I’ll just watch it without laughing. I can do that if I’m alone. When there are other people in the room, and they’re laughing, it makes me laugh more. But if I’m by myself, it takes a lot to make me laugh. Even if I find the movie hilarious, I can sit there, straight-faced like a zombie. Why is that? What’s wrong with me?

Has anyone’s laugh made you laugh more? I pretty much lose it when my brother laughs. He’s so tall, but whenever he laughs he like, giggles and makes the weirdest sounds. It’s so funny. I’m on a never-ending journey to make him laugh all the time.

How do you usually respond if someone isn’t funny, but they think they are? Do you encourage them? Do you give a pity laugh? How do you handle this weird situation?

My Shopping Experience

I used to be a shopaholic. I went to the mall on a daily basis and almost always came home with a new article of clothing. This addiction lasted for years. I’m bearing my heart, people. Not counting Christmas, I have gone over 5 months without any clothing purchases. It’s kind of refreshing. I don’t need new clothes. I have so many that it’s not even funny any more. Okay, its kind of funny.

One of the real reasons I’ve stopped shopping is because I literally have no where to go. Here in Canada, my malls are slightly below par. Their department store called The Bay is actually nice, but they sell Lourdes/Madonna’s clothing line and way too much of Jessica Simpson’s line. And lets face it, who wants to dress like either of those people? Unless there’s a Nordstrom around, I’m truly not interested.

I'm not letting her live this one down.

I’ve walked around the mall here searching for some kind of shopping solace but none exist. There’s a store called “Garage” which terrifies me. If I wanted to shop at a garage, I would kill myself and go to hell. Because I’m pretty sure that hell consists of endlessly picking through trinkets at garage sales.

They do have one of those stores that sells toys and gadgets and stuff like that. It’s called “Seeing is Believing”. Heh. I used to love those stores when I was little. I liked one in particular called “Imaginarium”. I don’t know why, but I was always intrigued by those water wiggly things. Those were a top seller.

Trust me, they're more fun then they look. (Okay, no they're not)

I love creative store names. There’s a store in the mall called “Things Engraved” and I’m baffled about how they came up with it. Seriously, I hope whoever thought of that name got a huge raise. The store, however, doesn’t interest me because I went through a phase where I needed everything engraved and monogrammed. Sorry that LKL is the best monogram ever.

I don’t know how many of you watch How I Met Your Mother but there’s a character who is originally from Canada and she used to be an 80’s pop star and sing in malls. Kind of like every pop star in the 80’s. I think HIMYM stopped being funny after I stopped watching. It always works out that way for me. Or at least I hope it does. What if its still funny and I’m missing out on prime jokes?! Actually, I refuse to watch because they cast Allison Hannigan to play a character named Lily and she really doesn’t do my name justice.

Anyway, here’s a clip of Robin and her secret Canadian identity Robin Sparkles. The main reason I like it is because she says “sorey” and “aboot” and mentions Canada Day.

Note: I cannot wait until Canada Day. It’s going to be so blog worthy I can hardly stand it.