Okay, that’s a little dramatic. I’m not saving the world. But I’m definitely saving Victoria’s ass big time. I’ve already helped people in need thrice this week. Do I need to purchase a cape or what?
A couple of days ago I was shopping in Walmart (gross, I know). I chose an express line and the old man in front of me kept turning around and staring at me. Assuming it was just another Walmart psycho, I chose to ignore him and put my sausages, peppers, carrots, and hummus (the essentials) on the conveyor belt.
When the guy in front of me turned around to face the cashier, I noticed that he had a packet of cheese in his back pocket. Like, an $8 block of cheese. He was completely rung up and about to pay when I tapped him on the shoulder and said “Don’t forget the cheese in your pocket!” He reached back, laughed and pulled it out and paid for it.
Afterwards the cashier was about to kiss my feet or something, she was so grateful. The best part was when I reached down to grab my groceries, I saw that the man in front of me forgot his other bag to which the cashier said, “Karma!” He must have been very flustered.
*There was originally part of me that thought he might have forgotten the cheese and wasn’t trying to steal it but then I realized, who would put cheese into their back pocket instead of into their cart with the rest of their food? I also thought he was going to beat me up in the parking lot or follow me home so I laced my keys between my finger and took a weird route home. The things I do in order to stop thievery.
The next day I was walking downtown when two Asian tourists flagged me down. They were holding their luggage and looking super confused. They had a map with their hotel circled on it and asked if I knew where it was in broken English. I said yes, and gave them directions but since I was walking that way anyway, I told them to follow me and I would take them there.
I had a little chat with them and found out they were coming from California and just visiting for pleasure. They said the city was very beautiful (even though it was a little cloudy) which was cute. All in all they were super grateful that I was able to guide them to their destination. Just doing my civic duty.
On the same day, as I was walking home, a biker stopped and asked me for directions and I pointed him in the right way. Not a super big deal, but if it wasn’t for me he probably would’ve gotten lost and died. So what I’m trying to say is that Victoria needs to erect a statue of me pronto.