Something Wicked This Way Comes

I have been having a ball “witch hunting” recently. Oh, what? You don’t witch hunt? Well, I’ve always had a thing for history and learning about different religions, cultures, and societies both ancient and modern. When I was in university I took a Women in History class and there was a segment on witches that I fell in love with.

The idea of witches/Wiccans/Satanists has been around since the biblical ages. Many scripts warn people of witches or those who practice Black Magic and say that any act of that sort is punishable by death. In early Europe though, especially in the UK and Ireland, peeps got a little carried away with this instruction causing tens of thousands of executions. It was especially scary if you happened to be born a woman and did anything out of the ordinary. Depending on how harsh your fellow townspeople were, you could be in danger of being called a witch if you had red hair or laughed in public. Or even if you were widowed.

This kind of behavior made it easy for men and women alike to accuse almost anyone of being Satan’s mistress. Often times if a fellow member of society didn’t like someone, they could say something like, “When she looked at me, her eyes pierced through my soul!” and bam–they were a considered a witch. It was a game of one person’s word against another’s.

Most people know how these medieval communities would judge if someone was a witch. It was pretty gruesome. Basically, the belief was, if you were a practicing witch, you wouldn’t be able to feel any pain or at least wouldn’t be capable of showing that you were hurt. It was also believed that witches couldn’t drown, so of course the easiest way to test this would be to hold suspects under water and if they drowned–congrats! They weren’t a witch! And if they didn’t, they would be put to death. A win/win really.

That’s not to say all women accused of such crimes weren’t practicing witchcraft. Some were. There have been accounts (some true, most probably false) of covens or circles of women that would meet in the forest at night, naked, sacrificing animals or even dead human children to Satan. Spooky stuff. There were also a handful of women who confessed to being witches in early modern Europe.

Most witches, but not all, had a vast knowledge about nature and the human body. Midwives who tried different techniques for removing children from their mother’s womb had to be careful not to be accused of magik. Same with those who had a keen sense of herbs, spices, and anything from the apothecary. This seems stereotypical but many witches, even today’s modern Wiccans have a profound knowledge of such things, as well as crystals, stones, and many animal and insect species.

Of course the scare of witches has moved all around the world. One of the biggest, most common hunts was in Salem, Massachusetts from 1692-93. This was a particularly popular case because there was mass hysteria and the public actually held court room trials about it.

You wouldn’t believe my excitement when I started to research witches/Wiccans in Victoria, B.C. (where I live now) and the results showed that it held, at one point, the highest population of witches in North America. Of course I quickly grabbed my purse and ran out the door to find out more about the topic. I went to a used book store and found their Wicca/witchcraft/occult section. I was looking more for a history of witches in B.C., but only found a lot of how-to books. Which were still amazingly cool.

I asked about a book that is out of print called Michelle Remembers. Every time I asked about it, people gave me a weird look and smile like, “Ohh you’re into that stuff?” Apparently this book is the maybe-true-maybe-false story of a girl who lived in Victoria that had insane night terrors to the point where she would find herself  awake and screaming. She visited a psychologist who used hypnosis to find out the root of her problem. Apparently when she was younger, she was abused in satanic rituals. Super creepy. The book is out of print and impossible to find. But I’m on a waiting list for it. My husband of course has not only read it, but also been to the house where she lived. It’s been knocked down but the address numbers used to be 666. Spooooky! I feel like I’m telling ghost stories right now.

On my journey I visited a couple stores that focus on the metaphysical world. Both had a wide selection of books, but none on the history of witchcraft in general or in Victoria. And both had many crystals for sale. Recently I purchased a quartz crystal pendant, which not only looks chic, but also gives me power, energy, and clarity. Jus’ sayin’!

I was super intrigued when I visited a store in Fan Tan Alley (a 4 foot-wide alleyway downtown that people used to visit during the 19th century to illegally gamble, drink, and do other things…) called Triple Spiral where I talked to a woman about classes that I could take to learn about witchcraft/Wicca/occult magik. You even get to create your own spells and rituals! So cray cray. I guess it’s taught by some of the high priestesses in town and is supposed to be a great series of classes. It’s out of my price range though. How cool is it that they offer that kind of thing?

Lastly, here are some ways you can add a touch of witchy wonder to your drab, everyday life:

Listen to:

“Rihannon” by Fleetwood Mac

“Season of the Witch” by Donovan

“Wicked Annabella” by The Kinks

“Black Magic Woman” by Santana

“Witchy Woman” by The Eagles

“Wicked Witch” by Lene Lovich

“A Witch’s Promise” by Jethro Tull

Read:

The Crucible by Arthur Miller

Michelle Remembers by Michelle Smith and Lawrence Pazder

The Witch Hunt in Early Modern Europe by Brian P. Levack

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft by Denise Zimmerman

The Crystal Bible by Judy Hall

Apply:

Wicked nail polish by Essie

Black Shatter nail polish by OPI

Magic Spell Juicy Tube by Lancome

Ceridwen’s Cauldron bath melt by Lush

Magic Ink liquid eyeliner by Benefit

Watch:

The Witches (1990)

Practical Magic (1998)

The Wizard of Oz (1939)

American Horror Story: The Coven (FX 2013)

Watch Ironically:

Hocus Pocus (1993)

Harry Potter (2001)

Theater:

Wicked: The Untold Story of the Witches of Oz

Macbeth by William Shakespeare

Eat/Drink/Smoke:

Soups

Tea

Poison (or regular) apples

Spices

Clove cigarettes

Wear:

Crystal pendants

Vintage Rings

Lots o’ black

Lace-up boots

Long billowy skirts or dresses

Opium by Yves Saint Laurent

Midnight Poison by Dior

Visit:

Cemetaries

Underground tunnels

Ghost Tours

Things I Miss About England

It’s been 2 years since I’ve been to jolly old England and I miss it dearly. I miss my friends, I miss the cozy rainy days (kinda), and I even kind of miss being in school and writing stupid essays the night before they were due. That country gave me 3 great years and I was totally ready to spend the rest of my life back in North America…and now I miss it again 😦

Kebabs/Indian food. 

O my G. I miss these foods so much. I mean, yeah we have some good Indian places in the States and in Canada, but you could get the cheapest, spiciest, butteriest Indian food in England. So yum. I have so many memories of getting kebabs at midnight with my friends. Waiting for our meat to be sliced and put in a pita, telling the men who worked there that we needed extra garlic sauce. They would smile, we would drool. Life was good.

Pounds, Pence, and Candy.

Don’t you love the chunkiness of a pound coin? They are awesome. Just when I would think I ran out of money, I would open up my change compartment in my wallet and find about 7 pound coins. It would feel like Christmas. I would spend most of that change on candy. England has the most candy ever. They have candy stores everywhere and pic ‘n mix stations in every grocery store and movie theater. I basically only ate candy for 3 months and my skin broke out and my nails grew really long and thick. It was the scariest thing ever.

Cobblestone Roads and Quaint Cottages.

Not sure about the pose. In The Cotswolds.

I’m glad I didn’t spend my time living in London because I got to experience more of real life that way. Canterbury was a gem among the boring Kent towns. There was a small town vibe, a bustling High Street, and history everywhere you looked. I loved walking past the dilapidated buildings, the old wooden beams that held up the modern Subway sandwich place. The cobblestone roads set the scene while making the town an obstacle course for freshman going out in their 6 inch heels. So many broken ankles. So much fun.

Pub Life.

Literally living in pubs before, during, and after school.

London.

Der.

A Post About Nothing

I haven’t been feeling very inspired to write anything recently. Sometimes I feel like I’ve talked about everything there is to talk about. Sometimes I can’t even remember if I’ve written about a certain topic already or if I just dreamed that I did.

These days if you have writer’s block (or any kind of block at all really) you go onto Google and see what there is to write about. I typed “what should I blog about?” into Google, clicked on the first entry, and this is what it said:

1. What is your expertise? Readers want to read about what you know and your special experiences. Really!

Okay, geeze. I believe you. Problem is, I don’t have an expertise. Unless you count being able to name every Pokemon an expertise, I’ve got nothin. Are most people experts in a certain area? Is this some sort of life requirement that I missed out on? Should I look into something? I guess history would be my expertise because I got my degree in it, but we all know that’s a lie and I forgot everything I learned right after the final exam.

2. What’s the news? While you don’t have to necessarily be a news breaker, you can give your view on what’s happening in your industry and how it relates to your hobby, life, etc.

Am I supposed to have an industry? I don’t even know what day of the week it is, never mind what my industry should be. I feel like I break the news occasionally, but I usually sway towards celebrity gossip more than newsy news. Can we call it newsy news from now on? The reason I didn’t write about the newest celebrity news is because my heart is broken and talking about it just makes it hurt more.

I’ll give you a hint: It has to do with these two.

3. What is your personality? Do you like to take a stance? Are you funny? Do you like being a contrarian? These insights can help you to write about your topic.

Can’t I just be everything? Why do I have to choose just one of those things? Can’t I be a funny contrarian that likes to take a stance? Maybe I don’t want to be defined by one personality type. I think there are sides of me that are soft and kind and other parts that are funny and playful and other parts that are deep and thoughtful. Notice how I didn’t name any character flaws? It’s because I don’t have any, in case you’re wondering.

4. What are your hopes and fears? Things that you can’t stop thinking about or what keeps you up at night could be good things to share with others.

I would say one of my hopes is trying to live a good solid life. A life I can look back at and feel proud of. A lot of the time I get caught up in trying to make other people proud, but I think I should just be focusing on making myself proud. I try to be the best example to others that I can be.

My fear is that I’ll go to a restaurant and they won’t have my favorite thing on the menu anymore. This scenario has happened to me multiple times and it’s scarred me for life.

5. What are your hobbies? Things that you like to do on your free time are often great topics to discuss.

Um let’s see here. Sleeping is a big hobby of mine. Eating is also another big one. Going online. Driving and listening to music. Walking and listening to music. Just listening to music in general. Traveling to new places. Did I say eating? Um petting soft animals. Laughing at people. Laughing at myself. Not exercising. Shopping. Painting my nails (but only when they’re grown out). Going to movies. Eating popcorn. Eating chocolate. Eating.

I think that’s about it.

Were those prompts supposed to solve my writer’s block? Because I think they made it worse. And they made my self esteem plummet because I don’t have an industry or an expertise.

I guess technically you can’t have writer’s block if you’re not a writer, so I probably have nothing to worry about, right?

Guardian Angels

I think I met my guardian angel today. He’s an elderly man from Baltimore, I kid you not. You know when you meet people and after they leave, you have a weird smile on your face? When you have a really good warm feeling after talking to someone? That’s what I got from this guy. I don’t know his name or anything about him really, but I know that he’s special.

I was volunteering today in the museum gift shop. It was a typical day full of glances at the clock and me miming shooting myself in the head. I was starting to zone out. Then all of a sudden, right in the middle of a blink, there was a man in front of me. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked. “Sure” I said, assuming that I was in trouble or that he was going to yell at me because we didn’t have his size in a t-shirt. Instead he talked to me about Carigdarroch Castle. This is a cool castle that we have in Victoria B.C., which I still haven’t visited yet…oops!

He talked about how much he loved it and then he mentioned that he was originally from Indiana but now lives in Baltimore. “Hey” I said, “I lived in Indiana when I was younger. In Fort Wayne.” This made him really happy. Why are old people so easy to please? Like, any mention of anything familiar and they’re all smiles.

He told me about how he lived in Lafayette and went to college at Purdue. He also told me about how he wanted to work for the best insurance company in the states. So he worked for Social Security. I told him that’s pretty impressive and he seemed to give me a look that said “I know!” So then I gave him look that said “Alright calm down.”

He asked me why I was in Victoria. I basically told him my life story and at the end of it he said, “Well that’s great! But are you happy?” I told him I was. And it wasn’t a lie. But I think I’m a genuinely happy person so maybe I wouldn’t even know if I was sad. He told me that being happy is the most important thing.

After he left, a few of the gift shop employees were like, “Who was that guy?” I said that I didn’t know. But I knew he was sincerely wishing the best for me.

I hope he doesn’t mind me awarding him the honor of being my guardian angel. He seemed like a natural.

And I knight you my guardian angel.

Post Grad Problems

When I see someone I went to high school with and they tell me about their awesome career:

When my husband gets home from work and asks me if I played video games all day:

When I want to buy furniture, but I also want to buy clothes:

If someone trusts me to hold their baby:

When I met someone taller than me:

When I stop for someone to cross the street:

When people ask me to hang out:

When I tell people I’m going to seriously get a job someday, they’re like:

When I’m trying to lose weight:

When my computer battery runs out and the cord is far away:
When I get all of the history questions wrong on Jeopardy even though I majored in history:

Awards!

I’ve been nominated for more awards! Can you guys believe how great I am? Me either! I’ve been terrible at following up on the acceptance part of the virtual awards. It’s not that I’m not grateful, because I totally am! It’s just that I always second guess everything! I look to see if other people have accepted them, and if they don’t, I just wait for the proper time. But now, I don’t care. I’m proud of my little blog, and the greatness it’s achieved!

I was awarded The Versatile Blogger Award from Adamsdaughter, I’ll Sleep When They’re Grown, and Random Female Blogger (or No Blog Intended). Each of these ladies makes me laugh or teaches me something on a daily basis. Seriously check them out if you haven’t already done so!

I’ll Sleep When They’re Grown also nominated me for the Tell Me About Yourself Award. The rules to both awards are pretty much identical. Here they are:

1. Thank the person/people who gave you the award.

2. Reveal 7 things about yourself (I recently wrote 10 things about myself, but I GUESS I could find more things to share..).

3. Pass the award on to 15 other bloggers. Let them know that they’re awarded!

About Moi:

1. Colin Hanks recently tweeted me back. Having a twitter account is now worth it.

2. I have a younger bro who’s almost done with college. He’s one of the funniest/strangest people that I know.

3. I’ve never actually had a real job. I’ve only ever babysat or volunteered. Babysitting is such good, tax-free money that it’s hard to resist.

4. I have a degree in History. I literally forget everything I’ve learned though. Seriously, its so embarrassing.

5. In the Chinese Zodiac I’m a Fire Rabbit. I’m a Fire Cat in the Vietnamese version. My astrological sign is Libra.

6. I’m 24 and married. My husband is 30. I would say our maturity levels meet at age 27. Does that make sense?

7. I’m not afraid to leave the house without makeup on. Actually, I prefer it.

Those awarded for both awards (in no particular order) :

Mooselicker

Michael Cargill

Adair You

Becoming Bitter

Evolution of Insanity

Brunch for Every Meal

You’ve Been Hooked

Guapola

Fyeahandroidtomato

Annndd yeah. That’s all the friends I have on here…! Tell me if I forgot about you!