Forever Young

It’s official. I’ve been married for one whole year today. I feel so old when I tell people it’s my anniversary. Not that I’ve told anyone besides my own reflection in the mirror, but still. My reflection gave me a look that was like, “sick you’re so old.” It was hurtful.

I’ve realized that I am getting older though. Maybe not wiser, but definitely older. There are a couple of things I’ve noticed that I do now that old people do ( Old= 45 and up. Sorry, I don’t make the rules).

• I watch HGTV. Home and Garden Network, for those of you who don’t know what’s up. I’ve taken an interest in fixing up houses, decorating, buying property, etc. Meanwhile, I’ve never paid a bill in my life and I literally don’t know how mortgages work. I find that watching HGTV makes me feel a little more knowledgeable when it comes to buying a house…some day.

• I wear my glasses a lot. I’ve had glasses since I was in 1st grade. I never felt pretty when I had glasses on. In high school I barely ever wore my glasses even though my optometrist said I would get a lazy eye if I didn’t wear them. I decided it was worth the risk. My thought process was “I’d rather have a lazy eye than wear glasses.” Normal. Now I wear my glasses all the time. I might as well invest in one of those sweet bands that hooks onto the ends of glasses so they can act as a necklace when they’re not on my face. So stylish.
  

  Look out for these on the runway. Fall 2012.

• I get allergies. I guess I had allergies when I was young too, but I just never acknowledged them. This summer I sneezed a total of 28,000 times. I counted. It was so annoying. I took every pill possible to cure my allergies, but nothing worked. Until I came across some nasal spray. How embarrassing is that? I have nasal spray. My husband kindly wrote is initials on his spray so that ours wouldn’t get mixed up. He wrote “butt spray” on mine.

• I have insoles in my shoes. Like some kind of retiree, I walk around with insoles because one of my toes has a neuroma in it. Sounds fun right? It’s like a tumor in my toe, but not really because it’s not cancerous. It’s just this mass that makes my toe hurt or feel numb. Isn’t my life great? How did I get so lucky to have a neuroma in my foot? It’s like all my dreams have come true.

But don’t worry. There are still parts of me that have remained child-like and carefree.

• I’m the worst at eating healthy. When I’m by myself I’ll eat pizza for lunch and popcorn for dinner. I love eating popsicles and chicken nuggets. Ramen noodles make my world go round. And I wouldn’t be happy unless I had a jar of Nutella in my pantry at all times.

• I play video games daily. Not games like Halo or Grand Theft Auto. Mario Games, Crazy Taxi, games for N64 and Wii. One of my favorite things to do is to curl up on the couch and play video games and listen to music. I’ve been doing this since the 4th grade.

• I love going to Disney World. It’s honestly one of my favorite places on earth. And I’ve been to a lot of places on earth, so take it from me. It was fun for me when I was 6, and it’s still fun for me even though I’m almost 25.

• I still swing on the swings at parks. Whenever I walk past a park, or go to a jungle gym with the kids I babysit, I make sure that I hit up the swings at least once. Swinging is just so fun. I still jump off the swings in mid-air too. Like a pro.

I guess, technically, I’m getting older.  But it makes me happy that I still keep myself young by doing all the stupid stuff that I did when I was younger. I’m still the same old gal, havin’ fun and livin’ life.

Dear Property Brothers, I think I love you.

Drew and Jonathan. Or Jonathan and Drew. Does it really matter?

Whilst watching TV with my mom in bed (Yep. That happens here.) we were flipping around the channels and my mom turned on HGTV. That’s usually about the time that I peace out, but since I couldn’t feel the lower part of my body after eating McDonald’s, I decided to stay.

This show called “The Property Brothers” was on and guess what? It takes place in Canada! I was immediately intrigued. Basically, couples seek out these twin bros (the property brothers) to help them find their perfect house. The couples are eventually told that they won’t be able to afford their dream house, and that they’ll have to settle for a cheaper, fugly one instead. Lots of disappointment. But then the property bros fix up the fugly houses and make them look like perfect dream homes. Magic! Pure Canadian magic!

Paul and I live in an apartment. But eventually, we would like to be homeowners. To be completely honest, the only reason that I want to move into a house is so I can have a dog. Our apartment doesn’t allow pets. Which is a sick joke. I obviously have no other choice but to seduce the property brothers into making me us my our perfect home. This is literally the best and only plan of action I have. These brothers have to be around in 3 years, right? Right. If not, I will track them down and force them to work for me. Seems like a good way to make friends.

It’s already a lot of work living in an apartment and I literally sit around all day. I can’t imagine the work that goes into owning a house. I mean, I can imagine it since I’ve watched my parents do lots of house stuff over the years, but they made it look easy. Or maybe they made it look hard. Either way, I was probably immersed in finding various ways to waste time to even care. But now I care. And now it’s too late. So I need the property brothers.

*Side note: My parents would definitely help with any homeowner problems that we would have in the future, but I like doing things myself. And since I can’t do this on my own, I need the prop bros. Get it?