My Favorite Movie Kids

I would’ve posted this piece to my other blog Kidz Showz, but it didn’t seem appropriate. Especially since some of the “kids” might be 20 and others might be from R-rated movies. Kidz Showz is a pure blog and I don’t want to be the one who tarnishes it. Although, it’s tarnished in many, many other ways.

The following names are some of my favorite weird kids from movies (not TV!):

Clifford from the movie Clifford. I don’t care who judges me, I think Martin Short plays a pretty funny adolescent. I always liked Clifford because he behaved sweetly in front of adults, but tormented his Uncle Martin to no end. Clifford is the definition of passive-aggressive, which is hilarious if you don’t have to deal with that kind of behavior in real life. He also has a green dinosaur toy named Stephen as his companion throughout the movie.clifford

Dawn Wiener from the movie Welcome to the Doll House. Perhaps one of the most tragic souls of all is Dawn Wiener aka Wienerdog. The kids at school torment her to no end, calling her “lesbo” and “dog face”, which prove to supply her with names to call her little sister. She has a crush on one of the members of her older brother’s band, has the saddest fashion sense of all time, and cuts the heads of off her sister’s barbie dolls. She’s basically my idol.dawn-wiener-welcome-dollhouse--large-msg-131051452577

Harold from the movie Harold and Maude. Harold isn’t technically a kid, but he’s a great character. And he’s also pretty young compared to his movie counterpart Maude. Harold is a privileged only child who enjoys cemeteries, funerals, and faking his own suicide. His life is revolved around death until he meets Maude, lover of life. Maude teaches Harold how to be carefree and happy. They save trees, walk through fields of daisies, and sing together.haroldandmaudeeyetwo

Marcus Brewer from the movie About A Boy. Marcus is the definition of odd-ball but only because his vegan mother raised him that way. He sports a bowl-cut, sings with his eyes closed, and tries to find happiness in his life even though his mother recently attempted suicide. Luckily he meets Will, an adult with no responsibilities, living the easy life. Hesitant at first, Will spends time with Marcus and gets to know the cool kid that’s deep inside him.arts-graphics-2007_1175913a

Matilda from the movie Matilda. It was between Matilda and Sara from The Little Princess. But Sara was too normal. Matilda was abnormal in that she had special powers that helped her survive her crappy school and even crappier family. But much like Sara, Matilda was sugary sweet and a bit daring. In this Roald Dahl classic, Matilda’s world is filled with people who are self-centered (her parents, her principal…almost all the adults in the movie) until she meets her teacher Miss Honey. This semi-dark children’s story taught me that if you’re blessed with magic powers, everything will eventually turn out fine.Matilda-matilda-4452227-640-480

Who are some of your favorite movie kids?


Harold and Maude 2.0

Okay this is a really weird idea that I thought of while watching Small Time Crooks. This is how my brain works, for real. You should feel bad for me.

I propose that Woody Allen and I produce a remake of Harold and Maude where I play the Harold character and he plays the Maude character. There wouldn’t be any cross dressing, just reverse roles. Maybe Harriett and Milton or something like that. This idea is still fresh–I clearly haven’t worked out all the details yet.

I think the casting would be pretty perfect. For those of you who haven’t see Harold and Maude, stop reading my ramblings and go watch it already. Too bad Blockbuster doesn’t exist anymore. Renting movies is one of the best things ever. Netflix is so dumb and Redbox is literally the worst thing ever. The selection is always like: Three Alvin and the Chipmunks movies, The Raven (you know that really bad mystery where John Cusack played Edgar Allen Poe? No? You don’t recall that gem?), like five movies no one has ever heard of, and Magic Mike. I wish I was kidding.

Anyway, the actor who plays Harold, Bud Cort, didn’t really do anything with the rest of his career besides a cameo in Arrested Development. I feel like I was the only person who appreciated his cameo since no one else really knows who he is. Except perhaps the people that cast him in the show. I feel like I could do that. Star in one really good movie and then do nothing else. I’m not saying that my Harold and Maude remake would be really good, but yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.

*Just looked it up and Bud Cort has actually done a lot with his career. Just nothing as good as Harold and Maude. Sorry Bud.

Harold is a twenty-something man child who has been given everything in life. He is hapless and expresses his emotions by nearly executing his own suicide daily. He doesn’t have much to say. He likes to go to funerals. And he also drives a hearse. I feel like I could be him. The part of Harold doesn’t involve a lot of acting skills. All I would have to do is perfect my “I’m miserable” face which I luckily have already perfected.

I think the tricky part would be getting Woody Allen to not only agree to the part of Maude, but to also tone down his Jewishness. He would probably agree to the part because it would involve a young lady falling in love with him. He tends to pick roles where pretty girls that are totally out of his league fall for him. I wonder why?

Maude’s character is 79 years old and is the complete opposite of Harold. She doesn’t have much, but she is grateful for everything she’s been given. She lives life to the fullest and sees the beauty in everything. She steals cars, saves nature, and also enjoys a good funeral. A match made in heaven, really.

Another bonus to the movie is that the entire soundtrack is compiled of Cat Stevens songs. Cat Stevens A.K.A. Yusuf Islam is a musical genius. He would definitely agree to the remake of Harold and Maude. To be perfectly honest, his music made the movie what it is.


Accepting Awards

Sometimes it’s hard to be me. I get overwhelmed with all the blog love very easily and I end up having minor panic attacks. When I receive awards, I always wonder if people expect me to blog about them in my next blog. Do they think I’m ignoring their kind gesture? Will they lose respect for my blog if I don’t nominate people in my acceptance blog?  Does everyone secretly hate me? These are the kind of thoughts that I have. Anxiety is really a great thing, guys.

I was nominated for some blog awards by three lovely people. I don’t know what they see in my blog, but I love them for loving me. They could be doing so many other things with their time, but they choose to come to my blog and read my words. They will most likely regret their actions years down the line, realizing that they could’ve learned a foreign language or traveled the world with all the time they spent here. Well maybe not travel the world. They could’ve probably gone to the zoo though. Zoos are pretty worldly.

A while ago My Pretzel Logic nominated me for the One Lovely Blog Award. And ya know what? I think my blog is pretty lovely as well. Lovely and offensive. The perfect combination. I don’t know how Pretzel found me, but I’m glad he did. He gets me. And his blog name involves a tasty treat. It doesn’t get much better. Pretz (can I call you Pretz?) will introduce you to new music, share his poetry, and talk about relatable topics. His blog is defs worth a visit.

I was in shock to get an award from this next blogger. Emily from The Waiting Blog, nominated me for the Addictive Blog Award. Her blog is way better and cooler than mine. Like, all 8 of you that are reading this should go and read hers. She’s super creative and her kid is adorbs. And she gave me the nicest compliments which means I will love her forever and always. Compliments go a long way with me. Like, a really long way.

Lastly and most recently, Stephen from Life Revelation, nominated me for the REALITY Blog Award. I had to look at it for a long time to figure out what it spelled. For that reason, I will never be nominated for The Smartest Tool in the Shed Award. But in all seriousness, Stephen is one of the kindest and most optimistic bloggers I have come across. All of his happiness is reflected on his blog which will leave you feeling uplifted and encouraged. In fact, he will end every response with a simple but important reminder to “be encouraged”. Thank you Stephen. I am!

Now these three awards have different rules, but I’m just going to combine the second part into one. Here are seven random facts about myself that you probably don’t want to know, but oh well!

1.) I used to scrapbook and journal a lot throughout high school.  Like, obsessively. If I went over to someone’s house I would bring my camera just so I could print the pictures and scrapbook the moment forever. I’ve had to throw out some of my journals because they were just too embarrassing and awful to re-read. Maybe I’ll feel that way about my blog someday…

2.) If I could go anywhere in the world right now I would book a flight to Greece. I’ve heard great things about the country and Greek food is growing on me. Also, Ancient Greece is one of my favorite periods of history. Is Ancient Greece a period? I don’t know. Clearly, I’m a great historian.

3.) Two of my favorite movies are Harold and Maude and Singin’ in the Rain. Both of which I’ve seen on the big screen!

4.) Cinnamon Toast Crunch has been and always will be my favorite cereal of all time.

5.) In 6th grade I was pumping iron in the weight room (not my choice, they made us) when I lost my footing on the leg press and the metal petal crashed into my leg. I started laughing and then I looked down and screamed when I saw the gash that was left. I walked to the nurse and she put a band aid on my wound. She was literally Satan. Turns out I needed 5 stitches.

6.) I worked at an ice creamery for a total of 2 hours my junior year of high school. Technically I was training, but I still got paid so I consider it work. I earned a total of $14 before I quit. That’s all I really needed to earn, right?

7.) I can’t think of a seventh fun fact. I didn’t leave the house until 5:30pm today. That counts as a fact, right?

This post is already way longer than I’d like, so I nominate everyone! Weeee! Mostly because I’m too lazy. And I don’t want to leave anyone out. (That’s my anxiety speaking….)