100,000 Views!

If you think this post is going to be me bragging about my blog, you’re totally right. But it’s also going to serve as a big THANK YOU to everyone who has helped me get this far in the blogging world. I’m really proud of my blog, it’s like my child. My child that I sometimes get bored with and don’t look at for weeks at a time.

A big thank you to everyone on my blog roll and everyone that follows me. I wouldn’t be here without you, obvs. Thanks for listening to my rants and pretending to laugh at all my bad jokes.

Thanks to mi madre, A Gripping Life for always commenting and encouraging me and telling me that I’m a good writer. Can we all agree that I have the best mom?

Recently, I’ve taken an interest in my blog’s stats. I like to see which countries view my blog the most. I only thought people from Illinois and Canada could relate to my life, but it turns out that people all over the world can! In the past 30 days the top countries that have viewed my blog are:

USA-9,911 viewers (ugh it WOULD end in 9/11. Can we just stop with 9/11?)

UK-2,556

Canada-2,052

Australia-549

Mexico-382

Brazil-376

Germany-368

Netherlands-340

India-229

Italy-221

The list goes on and on. Like, 2 people from Uganda viewed my blog. It could’ve been an accident (I’m guessing the average view is an accident, actually), but I like to think that Ugandans totally understand me and think I’m hilarious.

So thank you USA, for being my home country and supporting me the most. Oh and happy birthday yesterday! Not to be weird, but you’re getting super old!

Thank you United Kingdom for being Canada’s biggest influence and for being so royal and everything. I don’t think a day goes by when I don’t compare myself to Kate Middleton and cry, so thanks for that too.

She knows that she’s perfect and it’s bothering me.

Canada–what a bada** country you are. Thanks for adopting me and loving me and letting me make fun of you. I still haven’t met a beaver or a moose yet, so lets work on that.

G’day Australia! Thanks for supporting my blog. Even though there were more people in my graduating class than viewers from your country, BUT WHATEVS. Hopefully I can return to Sydney and have some shrimp on the barbie. Or maybe just some shrimp in the shape of Barbie?

Muchas gracias Mexico! I actually expected more than 382 views because I recently visited Cancun and I felt like I totally bonded with your country, but I guess not? I’ll try harder next time. And maybe I should learn more Spanish than “Hola”?

Thanks Brazil. I mean, your meager effort in views is alright. I just had high expectations from a country whose population totals 192 million…! That doesn’t seem right. Maybe it does. I watched the movie Rio on an airplane and it wasn’t that good, so I guess we’re even?

The only thing more annoying than a parrot is a parrot with Jesse Eisenberg’s voice.

Danke Germs. To be totally honest I didn’t expect much from you schnitzel-eating lederhosen wearing folks. But I’m impressed! And clearly stereotyping because I know close to nothing about Germany.

Thanks Netherlands. I honestly never think about your country, but you clearly think about me, which is weird. Is this what it’s like to be famous?

Namaste, India.  I went to an Indian buffet like 2 days ago and it was amazing. Thank you for your food and for those bollywood music videos that were on in the background. They made me want to be a slumdog millionaire. Okay, just a millionaire.

Lastly, grazie mille, Italy! Only 221 of you came to my blog, but I’m still impressed. If I lived in Italy I would be jumping off a pizza diving board into a pool of pasta while sipping on my gelato smoothie. I don’t understand why all Italians aren’t doing that 24/7?

My swimming pool. Pure class.

Okay so that was annoying. Consider this the last time I say thank you ever again. Here’s to the next 100,000 views!

Finding My Inner Jew

Is it weird that I automatically think of Woody Allen when I think of Jews? Nope, just offensive.

In Victoria, B.C. today there was a vigil held at a Jewish Cemetery. The cemetery had recently been vandalized (swastikas were painted on head stones). This makes me sad. An act like that is so irreverent.

The good news is that thousands of people showed up for the vigil. It’s nice that there are so many people that want to stand up and comfort those that were disrespected.

Ever since I moved to Victoria, Paul has pointed out when I complain. I never thought of myself as a complainer. I’ve always been a go-with-the-flow kind of gal. But I’ve noticed that Paul’s right. I realized that it must be a trait that I picked up from my family. I asked my mom if she’s ever noticed that I complain about things. She and I agreed that they aren’t really complaints, per se, more like observations. I wondered why I act like this, and why I feel the need to tell people around me that I hate waiting in line, or that there should be more people working so that the line doesn’t move so slow. To me, these were all normal comments.

My mom reminded me that my great grandfather was Jewish. I’ve always known that, but I’ve never thought of myself as Jewish. Not to be stereotypical, but I can see how that characteristic would come from his side of the family. Oy vey. Now, more than ever, I want to embrace it! I don’t know how many of you have been Keeping up with Kourtney and Kim Take New York, but Scott, Kourtney’s bf is Jewish and there was a whole episode about how he had lost his Jewishness and decided to talk to a rabbi, go to temple, and find it again. The only thing that really interested me was Shabbat dinner.  Seems like so much fun! Plus, I just really want a reason to say “Shabbat Shalom!”

Just so you know, I’m not converting to Judaism or anything, I just think its crazy that there’s part of my genetic makeup that I haven’t fully embraced yet! Also, my new goal is to become fluent in Yiddish. I feel like this will come in handy in day to day convos with both Jews and Gentiles.

Unfortunately, I think I had some Nazi sympathizers laced throughout my family tree. I inherited some pro-Hilter books which are INSANE. Having studied History, I really appreciate their value and content. Inside there are pictures of Hilter holding babies, and laughing with people. I wonder who the authors of this book were trying to fool. After everyone reads this they’re going to realize what a great guy he was! These books were probably handed down to me because, out of my family, I look the most Aryan. So not kosher.

“Germany Awakens”

Mickey D’s

I'm not lovin this.

McDonald’s is everywhere. Most children are introduced to McDonald’s when they leave the womb. Lets be real: McDonald’s is the best worst food ever. The only places that have a lack of Micky D’s goodness are Greenland, the Middle East, and pretty much all of Africa (but they barely have clothes so lets cut them some slack……….or lets not. I’m pretty sure some McDonald’s locations would solve their AIDS prob).

In all of the countries that I’ve visited, I was not surprised when I saw the popular chain make an appearance. They’re all pretty much the same, but I’ve heard a rumor that McDonald’s in Japan have sushi!  And we can’t forget about the Royale with Cheese. And I guess in the German locations they serve beer. Which seems illegal and fun.

None of these changes bother me as much as what Canada does to their McDonald’s. In the middle of the Golden Arches, Canada has decided to put a tiny maple leaf. Was that really necessary? No other country does that with their flag. All of the countries in the world (besides the losers–I’m talking to you Greenland) bond by having the same restaurant. I think that’s what Winston Churchill was talking about when he mentioned our “Special Relationship”.

But once again Canada ruined it. Really though? When I caught a glimpse of that maple leaf I think I did a quadruple take. It just seems un-American. Oh wait.