Shirts I Want/Need

My wardrobe is pretty perfect, but it would be even better if I had these items at my disposal. There’s nothing like a good shirt that makes people giggle.

However, there’s a big difference between chic, funny shirts and annoying graphic tees that chunky high school boys wear while they play Magic: The Gathering. Hopefully you can tell the difference.

So enjoy these bad boys that I found perusing Tumblr and Pinterest.

“In Memory of When I Cared”

“Shut Up You’re Not My Real Dad”

“More Issues Than Vogue”

“Kill Them Without Kindness”

“You Had Me At I Hate That Bitch Too”

“I’m Sorry It’s Just That I Literally Do Not Care At All”

A Post About Nothing

I haven’t been feeling very inspired to write anything recently. Sometimes I feel like I’ve talked about everything there is to talk about. Sometimes I can’t even remember if I’ve written about a certain topic already or if I just dreamed that I did.

These days if you have writer’s block (or any kind of block at all really) you go onto Google and see what there is to write about. I typed “what should I blog about?” into Google, clicked on the first entry, and this is what it said:

1. What is your expertise? Readers want to read about what you know and your special experiences. Really!

Okay, geeze. I believe you. Problem is, I don’t have an expertise. Unless you count being able to name every Pokemon an expertise, I’ve got nothin. Are most people experts in a certain area? Is this some sort of life requirement that I missed out on? Should I look into something? I guess history would be my expertise because I got my degree in it, but we all know that’s a lie and I forgot everything I learned right after the final exam.

2. What’s the news? While you don’t have to necessarily be a news breaker, you can give your view on what’s happening in your industry and how it relates to your hobby, life, etc.

Am I supposed to have an industry? I don’t even know what day of the week it is, never mind what my industry should be. I feel like I break the news occasionally, but I usually sway towards celebrity gossip more than newsy news. Can we call it newsy news from now on? The reason I didn’t write about the newest celebrity news is because my heart is broken and talking about it just makes it hurt more.

I’ll give you a hint: It has to do with these two.

3. What is your personality? Do you like to take a stance? Are you funny? Do you like being a contrarian? These insights can help you to write about your topic.

Can’t I just be everything? Why do I have to choose just one of those things? Can’t I be a funny contrarian that likes to take a stance? Maybe I don’t want to be defined by one personality type. I think there are sides of me that are soft and kind and other parts that are funny and playful and other parts that are deep and thoughtful. Notice how I didn’t name any character flaws? It’s because I don’t have any, in case you’re wondering.

4. What are your hopes and fears? Things that you can’t stop thinking about or what keeps you up at night could be good things to share with others.

I would say one of my hopes is trying to live a good solid life. A life I can look back at and feel proud of. A lot of the time I get caught up in trying to make other people proud, but I think I should just be focusing on making myself proud. I try to be the best example to others that I can be.

My fear is that I’ll go to a restaurant and they won’t have my favorite thing on the menu anymore. This scenario has happened to me multiple times and it’s scarred me for life.

5. What are your hobbies? Things that you like to do on your free time are often great topics to discuss.

Um let’s see here. Sleeping is a big hobby of mine. Eating is also another big one. Going online. Driving and listening to music. Walking and listening to music. Just listening to music in general. Traveling to new places. Did I say eating? Um petting soft animals. Laughing at people. Laughing at myself. Not exercising. Shopping. Painting my nails (but only when they’re grown out). Going to movies. Eating popcorn. Eating chocolate. Eating.

I think that’s about it.

Were those prompts supposed to solve my writer’s block? Because I think they made it worse. And they made my self esteem plummet because I don’t have an industry or an expertise.

I guess technically you can’t have writer’s block if you’re not a writer, so I probably have nothing to worry about, right?

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

I’ve been awarded two awesome blog awards by two awesome bloggers. You would think I would have a better vocabulary from all the blogging that I do, but nope! I can’t believe there are people out there that are kind enough to read the dumb things I write and take time out of their day to comment and give me love. My blog wouldn’t be as magical as it is if it wasn’t for all of you guys. Awww. Okay treasure that sentence because I’m never saying anything like that ever again.

A long time ago (July 14th to be exact) Brother Jon nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger award. At least, I think he did. There were a lot of different awards pictured on his post and I didn’t really know what was going on to be perfectly honest. So I just picked one. The one that calls me beautiful.

Brother Jon has an awesome blog full of honest observations sprinkled with a lot of faith. It’s refreshing to see someone so proud of what they believe in and not afraid to show it. I wish I could be more like you. Ps. I like your cat. PPS. Remember when you scolded me for writing “Brother John” instead of “Brother Jon” on my blogroll? Good times!

Recently (today, to be exact) Rebecca2000 at Ladyornot.com nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award. This made me super happy because Rebecca is a fairly new reader to my blog so I’m glad I made a good impression.

Rebecca’s blog is really great and consistently funny. I don’t know how she keeps thinking of funny things and observations but it’s starting to piss me off. I’m the funny one around here! But in all seriousness, check her blog out. She’s a cool chick and deserves some more views.

Whew…now that THAT’S over. I get to talk about me. I know you guys love hearing about me. I know you do. Don’t lie to yourself. Here’s seven facts about myself that I hope I’ve never told you before:

1. Whenever I say “That’s so funny!” in real life, I actually mean “I don’t really think it’s funny, I just don’t want to be rude.” The problem is, now I’ve been saying that even when I do find things funny. I pray none of you ever meet me.

2. If I like a song, and I mean REALLY like a song, I’ll put it on repeat until I want to throw my computer across the room. My newest obsessions:

The House That Heaven Build -Japandroids

Good Ol’ Fashioned Nightmare – Matt & Kim

Ho Hey – The Lumineers

3. In middle school, I used to buy weird sparkly stickers out of machines at gas stations and Wal*Mart entryways that said sayings on them like “Teacher’s Pet” or “Princess” or “Cool Kat” and stuff like that. I would stick them on my binders and I thought I was THE coolest. If I could go back in time, I would lock myself in a room for all of middle school.

4. My favorite flowers are water lilies. If anyone manages to get me a bouquet of those bad boys, I’ll love you forever. But I’ll settle with regular lilies because I’m just a regular old Lily, ya know?

5. I used to go into Barnes and Noble and flip through magazines, tearing out pages that I thought were pretty and wanted to keep. So sorry for stealing from you, Barnes. This is my apology. Kind of. My friend actually got caught for doing it when she was with me and she had to buy a $7 mag! Ooops…!

6.  I’ll be a quarter of a century old on October 5th. That’s old enough for me. How early do people start lying about their age?

7. I’m pregnant! Just kidding. It’s just buy one blizzard and get the next one for 99 cents at Dairy Queen so I have a huge ice cream baby.

Everyone on my blogroll is up for these awards. And those of you that aren’t on my blogroll are also nominated. I’m feeling rather generous. It’s probably just my ice cream baby.