Scaredy Cat

When Emily introduced the new topic for the “Remember the Time?” blog hop this week, I knew I would have endless things to write about. The prompt was “Remember the time we got really scared?” and my answer is yes. In fact, I can barely remember a time when I wasn’t scared.

I didn’t start off scared in most situations. It stemmed from over-thinking a situation, getting nervous about it, and being scared of the worst possible outcome. I feel like I could be a good survivalist because I would prepare for the worst case scenario. But then again, isn’t anyone who is still alive a great survivalist?

I could find a way to get worried about the most inconsequential activities. But in retrospect, the things I should’ve been worried about (like walking to and from school alone) didn’t bother me one bit. Oh, childhood.

Here are some things in my every day childhood life that scared me:

1. Losing my parents, getting abandoned, or having to be raised by someone else. This was like, my number one. I guess I made a comparative study of my parents versus other parents (of classmates or neighbors) and mine won every time. There was no way I would let my parents out of my sight.

2. Being trapped in a dark room. This happened to my neighbors and I. We were sitting in their shed, minding our own business when their older sister’s friend closed the door and locked us in there. I panicked. Obviously it would’ve been a lot more traumatizing if I was alone in there because they could’ve forgotten me. But since my friends were in there as well, we worried together. The best part was when the girl who locked us in there pinched her finger in the door while letting us out. Serves you right, bitch.

3. The Omen (1976). When I was eight years old I told my parents that I wanted to watch a scary movie that wasn’t Jaws. Jaws was like my go-to scary movie. Sharks were another fear of mine. So my parents were like, “Okay let’s introduce our daughter to Satan in child form and see if she enjoys it.” Like, as if I wasn’t scared of the world enough already. Now I had to worry about scary boys, scary nannies, scary dogs, being impaled, having 666 written on my head somewhere, etc. I still really like the name Damien though.

4. The dark. At night, when it was time for sleep, I would be scared for no reason. My American Girl Dolls looked especially terrifying in the glow of my red lava lamp when the lights were off. I mean, those dolls were scary even in the light of day. I swear they could look into your soul. My dad knew I was scared of them and would always put them on my bed, so when I walked in my room they would be starring straight at me.

One time when I woke in the middle of the night, I saw a ghost child in my mirror. It waved for me to come closer but I pretty much ran into my parent’s room and slept there. That was really the only time I think I’ve seen a ghost in my life. I mean, it could’ve been smudges on the mirror….okay it was definitely smudges and fingerprints on the mirror, but it looked so real, man.

5. My friend’s older siblings. I wasn’t familiar with the world of older siblings simply because I was the eldest child in my family. My friend’s older brothers and sisters always seemed so grown up and frankly, terrifying. One time I was sleeping over at my friend Kelly’s house and she and I were just playing a friendly game of Crossfire when her sister sauntered into the room telling us that we had to watch this movie with her. It was a Slither-ish movie where this girl was sitting in her bathtub and huge leech-like insects went into her ears and basically destroyed her life. Just like Kelly’s sister was destroying my life. And then to top off the night, her sister made me eat cheese. Torture.

That list may not be frightening to most of you any of you, but it gave me a lot of anxiety. There were dangers and things to be scared of around every corner. And I just happened to find them all.

Thursday Thoughts

Whenever I mention that I want to run a 10k and people start laughing:

If I have to be somewhere at 9am:

When the ladies at makeup counter tell me I have nice skin:

Me, at Starbucks:

If a commenter feels the need to negatively critique what I’ve written:

When people realized that I deactivated my Facebook account only to return within 2 weeks:

Anytime I start to have a light discussion with someone:

When I log onto Facebook and realize why I tried to leave:

When people tell me that hockey season has started back up:

If we’re out late and I want to go home:

When my husband asks why I always talk about my death:

Left Over Resolutions 2012

Doesn’t 2013 sound like an unlucky year? Is no one bringing up the fact that thirteen is unluckiest number of them all? Hotels don’t even make a thirteenth floor, that’s how bad it is. But it’s okay, let’s just all keep pretending that 2013 will be a great year.

I was looking at my resolutions last year and I was actually very surprised. Usually resolutions depress me because I’ve never really set a goal for myself and accomplished it. At least, not on purpose. But I completed a lot of the things on my list with flying colors!

For example, one of my goals was to start volunteering and I estimated that it would only last four months once if I started. Well, not only did I get a volunteering job, I stayed there for 10 months. Technically I’m still there, but they’ve been slow for a while so they haven’t needed me much.

Another resolution of mine from last year was to be more spontaneous in Victoria–do things I haven’t done, make more friends, and put myself out there. Well, now I’ve made lots of friends and did many adventurous things. And by that, I mean that I went camping twice.

Something else I had on my list was to read more. I projected that I would probably read one book this year and I ended up reading five! My little library is growing. I didn’t even realize I was completing a goal I set out for myself. Maybe that’s the key to setting goals, they have to be something you like to do so that you’ll end up accomplishing them no matter what.

Something else I wanted to do was to “make our apartment cozy and perfect”. I am so proud of myself with this one. Around the time that I wrote last year’s post, I had saved up a little over $1000 with my babysitting money and I wanted to buy a couch with it. Since then, I’d saved up enough to buy that couch, a chair and ottoman, a rug, a TV credenza/mini entertainment center, a trunk, and a mirror. I have definitely accomplished that goal. It makes me proud to have “feathered the nest” and I think it makes Paul proud too.

I still had other things on my list that I didn’t really accomplish like going to church more, stop hatin’ on people, and to complain less. And I think those will be my resolutions for this year. The year of the left-over resolutions.

But really, like I said last year, I’m basically perfect and I’m just writing this list out to feel more human.

The Holidays

Whenever people are excited about Starbucks holiday cups:

When people say “But it’s a holiday tradition!”:

Everyone at the mall on Christmas Eve:

The day after my mom and brother went back home:

When this crazy drunk lady came up to our table at the pub and started putting her arm around me:

Me, on Christmas day:

Whenever someone asks me to help clean up:

The day of the Mayan Apocalypse:

Me, remembering the chocolate bar I got for Christmas:

Realizing I have lots of gift cards to spend:

After I’m done belting to Les Miserables in my car:

Realizing that I have to stay up to at least midnight on Monday night:

Hump Day

When Paul asks what I want to do on the weekend:

Whenever I see my in-laws:

Whenever I do a blog awards post:

Anytime Paul wants to go to a party:

Me, trying to meet people:

Whenever someone suggests dinner and a movie:

Anytime a car cuts me off in traffic:

How I feel about the book I’m reading right now:

Whenever it’s crowded downtown:

The second that Paul comes home from work:

How I feel when I log onto Facebook:

How I feel when I wake up every morning:

T-Give 2012

I wrote about Canadian Thanksgiving last year and I didn’t hold back on the insults. This year, I’m going to take some time to write about what I’m grateful for. Weird, I know. We can pretend that we’re sitting around the table saying what we’re thankful for except that it’s all about what I’m thankful for and you’re not really a part of it.

My family. They are the coolest. Most of you know mi madre. She’s pretty much WordPress famous. But not the kind of WordPress famous where you get Freshly Pressed. All the cool people haven’t been Freshly Pressed. It’s true! If you haven’t been Freshly Pressed, you must be pretty cool. And offensive. My brother is also cool. He’s a way better writer than I am. I don’t know why he doesn’t blog more. Or at all. And my dad is also, surprisingly, very cool. He does all the things. Each member of my family is located somewhere different, but we’re all still a perfect unit. I am pretty lucky that way.

Is it just me or is the black kid being segregated?

My husband. I still think it’s weird that I have a husband. It’s almost like I’m old or something. Without my husband I would be super sad. I tried being without him once after I met him and I didn’t like it one bit. He’s a hard worker and a kind fellow that takes care of me. It’s a big job, you know, taking care of me.

My friends. I really like my little groups of friends that I have all over the world. I am drawn to people that I don’t have to spend time with 24/7. I like being able to pick up right where I left off. My friends from Chicago were always so cool with me living in England and only seeing me during the holidays. I never felt pressure to stay anchored to one place.  I also like that my friends don’t take me too seriously and ignore me when I say dumb things and laugh at all of my jokes. I never wanted to have the most friends. I just wanted to have a few good ones.

Blogging. Blogging has opened up so much of the world to me. It’s weird because I never would’ve thought that writing could lead to friendships and learning and laughing. But I have so many people that can see who I truly am on here even when I say dumb things and offend everyone on the internet.

Diet Pepsi: You might be wondering why this is on my list. Diet Pepsi has been a part of my life since I can remember. Actually, I think my dad put some in my bottle once. So technically, it’ss been a part of my life since I can’t remember.

Laughing. Laughing and making people laugh are two of my favorite things ever. You can’t buy laughter. You can fake it, but true, genuine laughter is euphoric. I love being able to make any situation, no matter how serious or painful, funny. It’s a gift, really.

What are you thankful for this year?

As of Late

When someone cancels on me:

If someone asks me what sports I play:

When I come out of a movie:

Me, trying to insult anyone after being online all day:

When anyone comes over during the day:

Whenever my family makes fun of me:

My reaction to anyone in Canada that wears flannel:

Me during any given week:

If an instructor gives us a water break during a workout class:

My feelings about my new blog, Kidz Showz:

Catch Up Session

I know that most of you are probably wondering where I’ve been–continuously refreshing this page in hopes of a new post. At least that’s what I like to imagine. In reality, everyone has most likely forgotten about this blog. So maybe I’ll start over. Hi, I’m Lily.

Instead of writing with a purpose, as if I were writing a newspaper article, I’m going to just write what I feel. I usually try to have some direction in which my posts show go (funny, informative, opinionated, etc) but this one is just going to be my ramblings. And slightly boring. But it will be very me.

Even though my blog is titled Lily in Canada, I’m actually not in Canada at the moment. I’m back in Chi-town (Chicago). I stopped in Las Vegas for 3 days because I’d never been and well, why the hell not, right? It was fun to see the sights, walk through crazy hotels and get some hot hot heat to thaw my body from the Canadian weather.

I also committed a major crime-I forgot my camera. Sooo here’s a picture of me sitting at my computer.

Excuse my beauty.

Anyway now I’m home and it’s weird. Nothing has changed. I’ve written about this before. After you’re married or move out, your childhood home is still your home, but it’s also not. It’s such a weird feeling. You can’t get too attached because you know you have to leave eventually. So I guess it’s kind of sad too.

I haven’t been reading that many blogs lately. And by that I mean, I haven’t been reading any. It’s kind of freeing actually. I would stress out by telling myself that I had to read every single post by every single one of my followers. So yeah, it kind of became more of a drag than anything. Don’t get me wrong, I love everything that everyone writes. I love that all of the WordPress bloggers are unique and that everyone’s true self shines through in their writing. It just came to a point where I was spending so much time on my computer that I wasn’t spending any time doing the things I like. I would reading blogs instead of hanging out with friends or working out or playing video games (don’t judge). So forgive me for not commenting or writing, or whatevs. I’ve been busy livin’ life.

Anyway, now that you’ve caught up with me, what’s new with you?

Adventures in Babysitting

I’ve babysat a lot in the past 8 years. It’s the perfect job when you think about it. You get to make up your own schedule, taxes don’t get taken out of your money, and you get to play and watch movies most of the time. However, there have been moments in my career where I’ve been a less than perfect care-taker. But that was in the beginning–when I was younger and didn’t really know what I was doing. Now I think of myself as some sort of babysitting professional.

I’m going to explain this post beforehand as to avoid any confusion for those of you who don’t understand what I’m trying to do here. Lately on tumblr, people have been using gifs (the moving pictures…for those of you behind the times) to describe how they’re feeling. I’ve peppered some of my older posts with them, but today I’m going to use gifs and pictures as the anchor of the post. Enjoy.

When I arrive at the house:

When the kids would ask me if they could have some of my gum:

When I would have to burp a baby after feeding it:

When I would look at the clock and it would only be 11am:

When the kids would ask to play tag:

When I had to make lunch:

When we finished watching Monster’s Inc.:

When I looked for something delicious in the family’s pantry:

When the kids tell me they’re allowed to have soda:

If one of my friends babysits with me:

When I give the kids a treat:

When I pop in a third movie:

When someone asks me how my day was:

At night:

Lake Houses

I’m not talking about the bad movie with Keanu Reeves. I actually never saw the movie Lake House, but I just know it’s bad because Keanu Reeves is in it. The one thing that I’ve always wanted in life was a lake house. I don’t even like swimming in lakes that much. I just like the idea of them I guess.

My grandpa had a lake house when I was younger. Actually, he had a few different ones. Most of them were on Candlewood Lake in Connecticut. For maybe 4  summers of my youth we drove to these lake houses and just chilled with my family. Being right on the lake is the best. One of his houses had a docked slide in the middle of the water that my brother, my uncle, and I liked to go on. I think my cousin did too, but she was younger so I’m not sure about that one. Anyway, I remembering having to fill up this milk jug with lake water and pouring it down the slide in order to make it slippery. Even back then I knew this system was archaic.

I also liked going tubing. I can’t water ski. Well, maybe I can. I’ve never tried. Paul and his bro were like pro water skiers when they were younger. Well, pro Canadian water skiers. So I guess they were just regular? (JK GUYS) I can’t help but to be afraid that a shark is going to eat me whilst I’m tubing. Especially when I’m stopped in the middle of the lake. I know sharks don’t reside in lakes. I’ve seen every shark movie wayyy to many times to think that I’m ever safe in a body of water. Even in pools you have to keep a look out. I’m just sayin’.

Paul has had a lake house for most of his life. I can’t help being jealous of this. It must have been so much fun to have an alternate house to go to for the entire summer. I guess what I like most about lake houses is the simplicity of everything. You don’t need a lot of stuff to have fun at a lake house. You just need a lake and a barbeque.

I think going to my grandpa’s lake house gave me a sense of having a big family. There was always someone to hang out with or talk to. My family isn’t particularly big. I have one sibling. And 3 cousins. I’ve met two of those cousins only once in my life. But they live in Minnesota. So it’s really their fault for living in such an undesirable place.

A lot of things have changed since those lake house days. Some of my family members don’t talk to each other, that uncle isn’t my uncle any more, and there’s no longer a lake house to go to. But now that we live about 45 minutes from my husband’s lake house, I feel like I can make new lake house memories. Plus, that might be the only place I can get a decent tan here, so I really don’t have a choice.