Ren Faire

What is my life?

I think it’s about time that I share one of the best/worst experiences of my life. The Renaissance Faire. About 40 minutes away from my home, in a place called Bristol, Wisconsin is where you can see freaks of all ages dressed up in medieval garb trying to recreate their renaissance dreams. It’s comic gold. People have absolutely no shame once they enter the gates.

The first thing that you’ll notice at the Bristol Ren Faire is that 75% of the people are really into it. The other 25% are people like me,  just going for a good laugh. Everyone puts on their best English accent and communicate with each other in their own medieval language. For example:

Creepy guy in tights: Good morrow, m’lady.

Me: Oh um hi. Where are the restrooms?

Creepy guy: The privies are o’er yonder.

Me: …………

The main reason that we go to the Ren Faire is to laugh at the costumes. Some people have really good ones that probably cost a quick $2,000. Others use the Ren Faire as an excuse to wear chain-mail bikinis. It’s always the people that shouldn’t be scantily clad, that always are. Others sway from the 16th century look altogether. I’ve seen a lot of sci-fi outfits, mythological creatures, and a lot of men in kilts.

There's a surprising amount of this happening.

There’s a lot of cool stuff there too. It’s not completely weird. They have henna artists, jousting, comedy shows, musical performances, fortune tellers, elephant rides :(, and lots of good food. They have shops that sell crafts and tapestries. Stores that sell dvds, cds, and books about medieval life. Lots of stuff to distract you from the freaks.

My family and I like to think about what these people are like in real life. The guy that’s dressed up as a Centaur probably works in a cubicle and no one knows about his love of being half-man half-beast. The ultimate scariest is when you see someone fully dressed in their costume, yet they’re also wearing a Bluetooth. These sightings are rare, but thoroughly amusing. It’s almost as if they wanted to fully immerse themselves in the Faire, but they couldn’t quite disconnect. Perfection.

Have you had the pleasure of going to a Ren Faire? If so, huzzah!