Movies, TV

Politically Correct or Just Can’t Take a Joke?

I hate getting opinionated. Mostly because everyone finds a way to tell you that your opinion is wrong and that you don’t know what you’re saying. Well, not everyone. But a lot of people say that.

I’m interested in movies and the media. I watch the Academy Awards some years and other I don’t. If you really take the ceremony apart, bit by bit, it’s slightly disturbing. Yeah, let’s award these people for pretending to be someone else in front of a camera. Their payment of millions of dollars isn’t enough already. This is just a way for people to continually stroke their own egos. I also hate when people say actors or actresses are so “normal”. No, none of them are normal. They all want to be in front of a camera and have people tell them how great and talented they are. That’s not normal. Normal people wouldn’t chose that lifestyle.

Take the most eloquent, distinguished actor you know- Daniel Day Lewis or Meryl Streep, whoever. Sure, they seem like controlled, classy people, but when you break it down, they like to be other people in front of the camera. They want people to review them, critique them, and love them. It’s kind of sick when you think about it. All of Hollywood should have “Hey, look at me!!!” sharpied on their foreheads.tumblr_mf4zg4E4VA1qioqu5o1_r1_500

I can probably hone in on their love for attention, because I love attention too. I mean, who doesn’t right? But there are people that will go to greater lengths to get it. Like showing their boobs for example.

That was the only way I could segue into what I intended to write about. A bunch of people I know have been posting links to articles written about Seth MacFarlane’s job as a host. All of them have been awful. See, if I hadn’t watched the show myself, I would’ve just assumed that he was terrible and taken everyone’s word for it. But he wasn’t.

I am a fan of Family Guy and American Dad, both shows created by Mr. MacFarlane. I always thought he was super smart, comical, and had a great singing voice but I wasn’t sure about him hosting the Oscars. I warned my mom multiple times that he might do voices from Family Guy which will be super cringy, in which case I would change the channel immediately. seth-macfarlane-talks-oscars__oPt

To my surprise, there weren’t any voices (unless you count him doing the voice of Ted, the teddy bear). The audience laughed at all his jokes, he sang, he danced, he made fun of how long the show was dragging on for, it was great. Of course I expected him to make some borderline offensive comments, but the only thing the audience seemed to gasp for was a joke about Abraham Lincoln getting shot. Like, who cares?! There wouldn’t be a movie about him if he didn’t get shot! Actually, there probably still would’ve been because Daniel Day Lewis looks too much like him to not reenact his life. And to be honest, which Abe definitely was, I bet Mr. Lincoln would’ve laughed at that joke. Okay maybe not, but only because he wouldn’t understand our amazing 21st century humor, am I right?

The thing that really seemed to upset America was a little song that Seth performed called, “We Saw Your Boobs”. Journalists have been calling this song misogynistic. This honestly makes my blood boil. It just shows that people, women in particular, can’t take a joke. The actresses were the ones that CHOSE to show their boobs! If they’re upset at someone pointing it out, maybe they shouldn’t have been so ready and willing to take off their shirts. And pants for that matter. The Kate Winslet bit was perfect because she has been naked in almost everything that she’s been a part of. I don’t think there was a nude scene in Finding Neverland, but she probably asked for one. That song was nothing but funny, I would even call it silly. To get upset by a harmless tune like that is just ridiculous. He was only making an observation–something anyone could’ve done. If Jennifer Lawrence had sang the song I bet you a million dollars that everyone would’ve raved about how relatable and fun she is. She can do no wrong! But because Seth is a man, he’s now a misogynist. Okay, that’s fair.

Another thing that Seth said when he was acting as the voice of Ted alongside “Marky” Mark Wahlberg, was a joke about Jews in Hollywood. To sum up the joke, Ted basically announced that “Jews control Hollywood.” So journalists have called MacFarlane an anti-Semite as well. I mean, I don’t really find that offensive. Maybe because I’m not Jewish? Everyone knows that Jews don’t control Hollywood, but there are definitely a lot of Jewish people in that area of California. That’s just a fact. They made their voices known during Passion of the Christ, remember? I wouldn’t call MacFarlane an anti-Semite because of that joke. Nothing about that quote was offensive in any way.

MacFarlane was also called racist for making a joke about Daniel Day Lewis being in character at all times. He asked aloud, “If you bumped into Don Cheadle on the studio lot would you try and free him?” People are so overly sensitive to other people’s reactions. I feel like more white people felt “offended” than black people did with this one. He’s not racist because he tried to make a joke about Lincoln, slavery, and method acting. It’s a real shame that he’s being so attacked for making light-hearted jokes.

Of course on his shows, Seth MacFarlane pushes the envelope and says many crazy things. But that doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. As a host, he was tamer than I ever expected him to be.  Since the show, he’s been asked if he will ever host the ceremony again to which he responded, “No way.”


Even You Can Be Nominated for an Academy Award!

I’ve determined that every Best Actor and Actress has something in common. They pick roles that will shock people. They pick roles that are challenging. They pick roles that will make people love them because, deep down, they hate themselves so much. The least we can do is award them with some kind of trophy for all their hard work on top of their enormous salaries. We’re just the little people, after all.

If you want to go through all of the mess of going on auditions and getting discovered, go right ahead. That’s the hard stuff. If you want to find a role that will win you an Oscar, then you’ve come to the right place. Here are some tricks of the trade I’ve picked up from being an avid movie watcher:

Make yourself fugly. No one wants to be on the big screen and look awful, right? Well, if you do, The Academy will most likely consider you “brave” and nominate you for one thing or another. For example, look at Anne Hathaway’s choice this year. She could’ve opted for a different role, but she chose the shave-your-head-snot-dripping-crying role. I can’t get over her bravery.

Ew ew ew.

Ew ew ew.

Others that have won or been nominated for awards by making themselves gross are: John Hurt (The Elephant Man), Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler), Charlize Theron (Monster), Gabourey Sidibe (Precious).

Side note: I realize that Mr. Rourke and Ms. Sidibe already looked like that before their roles, but still. They’re on the list.

Go insane. Crazy characters are always fun to watch. There’s nothing better than a good old fashioned break-down. I believe that in order to play someone who goes off the deep end, you’ve had to have experience of it yourself. Just keep that in mind.

Examples of expert crazies: Vivien Leigh (A Streetcar Named Desire), Bette Davis (Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?), Ellen Burstyn (Requiem for a Dream), Natalie Portman (Black Swan).

Hey all girls! Whadda know?!

The old switcheroo. To show The Academy what an amazing skill set you have, try portraying the other sex. This should prove difficult even for the best of them. If you go through with it though, you’ll no doubt be awarded for your talent. I mean, even Gwyneth Paltrow won for dressing up as a guy in Shakespeare in Love. Is that really Oscar quality? No. But she dressed up as a boy so it’s fine.

So convincing.

So convincing.

Other examples of people that can play the opposite gender well are: Hillary Swank (Boys Don’t Cry), Dustin Hoffman (Tootsie), Jaye Davidson (The Crying Game).

Mental disability fall-back. This type of role is tried and true. It’s basically a guarantee that you will win an award for playing someone “special”. It’s also a guarantee that someone is going to comment on this post and tell me that I’m being offensive. I’m just being brave, okay?!

Examples of people that were itching for an Oscar: Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade), Dustin Hoffman (Rain Man), Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump), Sean Penn (I Am Sam).

Oh look, all men. This type of role seems to come easy to them.

Holocaust roles. Everyone knows how disturbing the Holocaust was, yet for some reason we like to keep reliving it by watching movies about it. For those of us who didn’t get a chance to actually be there, it’s a great way to see what really happened, right?

Examples of these challenging and brave roles: Roberto Benigni (Life is Beautiful) Liam Neeson (Schindler’s List), Adrien Brody (The Pianist).

If all else fails, try to morph into Daniel Day Lewis.