Forever Young

It’s official. I’ve been married for one whole year today. I feel so old when I tell people it’s my anniversary. Not that I’ve told anyone besides my own reflection in the mirror, but still. My reflection gave me a look that was like, “sick you’re so old.” It was hurtful.

I’ve realized that I am getting older though. Maybe not wiser, but definitely older. There are a couple of things I’ve noticed that I do now that old people do ( Old= 45 and up. Sorry, I don’t make the rules).

• I watch HGTV. Home and Garden Network, for those of you who don’t know what’s up. I’ve taken an interest in fixing up houses, decorating, buying property, etc. Meanwhile, I’ve never paid a bill in my life and I literally don’t know how mortgages work. I find that watching HGTV makes me feel a little more knowledgeable when it comes to buying a house…some day.

• I wear my glasses a lot. I’ve had glasses since I was in 1st grade. I never felt pretty when I had glasses on. In high school I barely ever wore my glasses even though my optometrist said I would get a lazy eye if I didn’t wear them. I decided it was worth the risk. My thought process was “I’d rather have a lazy eye than wear glasses.” Normal. Now I wear my glasses all the time. I might as well invest in one of those sweet bands that hooks onto the ends of glasses so they can act as a necklace when they’re not on my face. So stylish.
  

  Look out for these on the runway. Fall 2012.

• I get allergies. I guess I had allergies when I was young too, but I just never acknowledged them. This summer I sneezed a total of 28,000 times. I counted. It was so annoying. I took every pill possible to cure my allergies, but nothing worked. Until I came across some nasal spray. How embarrassing is that? I have nasal spray. My husband kindly wrote is initials on his spray so that ours wouldn’t get mixed up. He wrote “butt spray” on mine.

• I have insoles in my shoes. Like some kind of retiree, I walk around with insoles because one of my toes has a neuroma in it. Sounds fun right? It’s like a tumor in my toe, but not really because it’s not cancerous. It’s just this mass that makes my toe hurt or feel numb. Isn’t my life great? How did I get so lucky to have a neuroma in my foot? It’s like all my dreams have come true.

But don’t worry. There are still parts of me that have remained child-like and carefree.

• I’m the worst at eating healthy. When I’m by myself I’ll eat pizza for lunch and popcorn for dinner. I love eating popsicles and chicken nuggets. Ramen noodles make my world go round. And I wouldn’t be happy unless I had a jar of Nutella in my pantry at all times.

• I play video games daily. Not games like Halo or Grand Theft Auto. Mario Games, Crazy Taxi, games for N64 and Wii. One of my favorite things to do is to curl up on the couch and play video games and listen to music. I’ve been doing this since the 4th grade.

• I love going to Disney World. It’s honestly one of my favorite places on earth. And I’ve been to a lot of places on earth, so take it from me. It was fun for me when I was 6, and it’s still fun for me even though I’m almost 25.

• I still swing on the swings at parks. Whenever I walk past a park, or go to a jungle gym with the kids I babysit, I make sure that I hit up the swings at least once. Swinging is just so fun. I still jump off the swings in mid-air too. Like a pro.

I guess, technically, I’m getting older.  But it makes me happy that I still keep myself young by doing all the stupid stuff that I did when I was younger. I’m still the same old gal, havin’ fun and livin’ life.

Gaming

This. Is. Everything.

I don’t know if you guys know this, but I’m a gamer. Well, not a gamer in the sense that I play Halo, Call of Duty, World of Warcraft or anything like that. Games have been a big part of my life though. I love video games, computer games, stupid iPad apps, etc. I get addicted to finding every coin, getting the best score, completing missions–everything!

Nowadays games are so high tech. I mean, they seem cool, but they just go way over my head. I have this game on my iPad called Temple Run (it’s so addictive) and the objective is to run as far away from these monkeys that chase you through the jungle. The graphics are better than anything that’s on my N64. It really amazes me.

Computer games really started me off early as a gamer. And I know these games are totally lame, but I still pop them in every once and a while for a walk down memory lane. They all had cheesy names like Pajama Sam, Spy Fox, Feddie Fish, and Putt-Putt. My brother and I still make references to these games. I remember kicking each other off of the computer because we each had our own game going. Perhaps one of the biggest shocks of our lives was when we found out that Freddie Fish was a girl. WHAT?! Still doesn’t make sense.

I was probably around 9 or 10 when Rollercoaster Tycoon came out. I would literally sit for hours playing that game. During 6th grade in Tech Lab, there were different areas where you could, I don’t know, do tech-y stuff. In one of the sections they had a computer set up with Rollercoaster Tycoon. I guess building virtual Rollercoasters is considered lab work. I stayed at that computer for the entire class. The next morning, someone went on my saved game and ruined the park that I had built so carefully. They were clearly jealous of my amazing skills.

Once Nintendo 64 rolled around, there was no turning back. I had no time for Rollecoaster Coaster Tycoon. Super Mario 64 was a family affair in my house. My parents played it just as much as we did. Such good memories.

After that, gaming systems were being launched every other year–Sega Dreamcast, Playstation, GameCube, X-Box, X-Box 360, etc. They all offered some great games. Crazy Taxi was one of my absolute favorites.

Last night on the Daily Show, they compared the Florida Debates to Mortal Kombat and called it “Floridal Kombat”. They depicted Mitt Romney K.O.ing Newt Gingrich. It was pretty funny. Paul leaned over and said, “Do you even know what Mortal Kombat is?” I looked at him, narrowed my eyes, and said “Do you even know who I am?”

Fifa Street references Vancouver

My first true love. With an 8-pack.

I was browsing through various news stories the other day and something caught my eye: “Fifa Street references Vancouver.” Immediately I thought that this must be something special since it was in the news. Maybe this was the first time that Canada has ever been cool enough to be in a video game that didn’t include fur trapping.

Unfortunately, the article mostly dealt with the fact that there were no female avatars in the game. Apparently it’s because

the added cost to shape [women’s] bodies and model movement and clothing is costly and didn’t provide enough return on investment.

This would probably upset a lot of female rights activists, lesbians, or just annoying women. But I couldn’t care less. I’m what you would call an anti-feminist. I think women shouldn’t have to make a living outside of the household. And I definitely do not agree with that “anything you can do, I can do better” mentality. That’s probably the farthest thing from the truth. Unless you have some sort of disability. Because if that’s the case, I will totally destroy you.

I think we all know the real reason why the bros at EA Sports haven’t made female players–girls are bad at sports. No guy would pick the girl player. Most girls don’t even pick the girl player. For example, when I play Crazy Taxi, I always pick Axel. The game includes one girl character and I don’t think anyone has ever used her. Why? Because the objective is to drive fast and not get into accidents. Axel will always deliver. Plus, he has green hair.