The Song That Never Ends

You know what I do to really depress myself? List all of the things that I’ll have to do for the rest of my life. It can be the most miniscule task, but it will still cause me distress to think about.

Some moms complain about how they’ve made a million school lunches for their kids. Yeah, I’m not talking about stuff like that. School lunches end. You really only have to make them for 5 or 6 years. If your kid is eating a packed lunch in middle school or high school, chances are they have no friends. So shut up about school lunches. Plus, making lunch is awesome. Anything to do with food is great.

Here are some examples of things that I will be doing for the rest of my life:

Bathing. No matter how many times you bathe a week, you will never be clean forever.  I know it doesn’t take up much time, and it’s often relaxing, but imagine how much extra time we would have if we didn’t have to ever clean ourselves. Tons of time! We wouldn’t have to invest in soaps or shampoos or blow dryers because we wouldn’t have any need for them. And think about all the water we would be saving! I think I just figured out how to obtain world peace. YOU’RE WELCOME, EARTH.

Cleaning/laundry/dishes/etc. It wasn’t until I lived on my own that I realized cleaning is the worst. I love organizing things. Cleaning on the other hand, not so much. It’s great when you’ve finished cleaning and your house looks spick and span until you realize that you have to do it all again next week. You’ll never escape the cycle of cleaning. You have to do it  FOR-EV-ER. I’ve found a shortcut around not having to do dishes. All you have to do is avoid using them. Good luck with that. Unless your body can sustain itself on chips and soda like mine.

You know those dwarves are gonna mess up the cottage again.

Working out/dieting. This has to be the most depressing. No matter how much you work out and eat healthy, you’ll gain weight if you stop. I wish there was a point where your body was like, “Sweet, I think I got the hang of this. I’ll take it from here.” If you’ve been at a good weight and then gained the pounds back, you know how hard it is to get back to your skinny point. It’s rough. Bodies are dumb.

Buying gas/food/toiletries. This sucks. Unless you’re an extreme coupon-er and have a stock pile of goods in your basement, I’m guessing you’re like me and have to buy this stuff over and over. You couldn’t really stock pile gas though, could you? Well, you could, but you’d have to put it in those weird containers and they freak me out. Gas shouldn’t be portable. It should only come out of gas stations. I know it has to be transported to the gas stations, but it would be more magical if the gas just happened to come out of the ground wherever the stations where. Wtf am I talking about anymore?

A gas station was eventually placed right on top of that spot.

Making money. Someone in your family has to go to work everyday. It might not be you, but there is some way you’ve acquired money. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a sum of money that you eventually made that would be enough? Enough in the sense that you’d never have to work again. I guess this happens to some people. But if that happened to everyone, then we’d all have the same amount of money and it would kind of be like a commune where everyone has the same stuff. Which has always been an attractive way of living in my eyes. Maybe I should move to Russia? I would wear one of those cool hats and learn to do that crazy dance and drink vodka all the time. I probably wouldn’t do any of those things. Unless they included crying myself to sleep every night.

Hopefully everyone wants to kill themselves now.

Lot’s o’ love!

Spring Favorites

Remember when I used to do these favorites lists? No? Well then you better go back and read every post I’ve ever written. They’re basically lists of my favorite things of the season. Think of it as me helping you figure out what to be interested in.

1. The color turquoise. It seems like everyone has been into this color lately. I’m not trying to brag or be weird or anything, but I’m pretty sure I started it. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure I invented the color turquoise. I would be completely comfortable in a house that was doused in the color.

So calming!

2. Peanut butter. Ohmigosh you guys. Clearly I didn’t eat enough peanut butter growing up because I’ve been making up for it within the past 2 months. Peanut butter on toast is so good. Especially if you spread the peanut butter on the toast when it’s still hot because then it gets all melty…brb.

3. The Hunger Games movie. I know it hasn’t been released to the public yet, but I already know it’s one of my favorites. I read the book and I’m just really excited. Has anyone else read the book? Is anyone else dragging their significant other (or being dragged by their significant other) to go see it?

4. Cooking. I never thought I would actually like preparing food, but it’s actually kind of fun! I mean, I mess things up a lot, but I make a lot of good stuff too! I don’t have a blender or an electric mixer, so I’m limited in some aspects, but I’m still learning. I made a really good chicken and zucchini pesto pasta the other day. I was so proud!

5. Spa treatments. I can’t really say that I’m getting a lot of them, or any, but they’re still my favorites. There’s nothing better than having someone rub your shoulders or putting stuff on your face or getting your nails painted. I even like getting my eyebrows waxed. Spring time is usually when I start pampering myself because lets face it, I hibernate during the entire winter.

I love when people paint my face.

6. Working out. Spring time is when society is supposed to get in shape for summer. I need to do this. My sister in law is running a 10k and while I imagine that I can do it too, I just know I’ll fail miserably and end up walking the last 8k. Should I sign up? It’s like 40 bucks which sucks, but I get a t-shirt!

7. Passion Tea Lemonade. Starbucks doesn’t have a lot of cold drinks that I like. I usually take a break from Starb during the warmer months. However, I do love passion tea lemonades. They are yum. I suggest you give one a try. Plus, they’re magenta colored which is kind of cool.

So refresh fresh!

8. Camping. I really want to go camping for some reason. If you know me, you might think I’m on some sort of drug for saying that. But in all seriousness, I haven’t gone camping since the summer before my senior year of high school! I think it’s about time. Plus it would be so blog worthy. I would take pictures and everything!

Thoughts? What are some of your favorites this month?

Alone Again, Naturally.

Gilbert O’Sullivan was alone. Look how he turned out.

I’ve never lived alone. Ever. Even in my college years, I always had suite-mates (not roommates because sharing a room with someone after the age of 8 is sick). I never went on vacation alone and I definitely never had my own place. I have our apartment to myself for the whole week and I really don’t know how I feel about it.

On one side, I have lots of freedom. I don’t have to cook dinner. Actually, I don’t have to cook at all! In fact, I’m sitting here, eating a breakfast consisting of Flavor Blasted Goldfish (Xplosive Pizza, in case you’re wondering).

I don’t have to watch football.

Me: Who’s playing?

Paul: The Redskins and the Eagles.

Me: I hate the Eagles.

Paul: You do? Why?

Me: Because there was a guy at the hockey game wearing an Eagles sweatshirt and hat and he annoyed me. Plus Michael Vick is on that team so….yeah. And I like saying Redskins.

Paul: ……………

It can also be lonely too. I obviously have friends I can spend time with, but it’s not the same. No cuddles, no stupid inside jokes, no sharing blankets on the couch.

It’s weird because I am pretty independent. I don’t mind going to movies alone, shopping alone, or eating out by myself. I also decided to go to England for 3 years without knowing a soul. A lot of people would never do those things.

Being alone is such a weird feeling. You only have to think about yourself. I remember talking to this girl (I say girl, because she was around my age and I hate being referred to as a woman. It sounds so old!) who was giving me a pedicure and she said that both her parents had died and she didn’t have any siblings. There were probably times in her life that she felt like the loneliest person in the world. It would be so hard to be in her position. But I believe that people are only given situations that they can handle. It may seem tough to me, but she seemed okay with it. I think she was a stronger person because of it. Meanwhile, I’m talking about how I don’t have someone to share the couch with. Normal.

This week, I might watch some movies that I’ve never seen, cook something I’ve never cooked (out of boredom and hunger) and go somewhere I haven’t been yet. I’ll keep you posted on my weekly adventures. But don’t get your hopes up.

10,000 Views!

I think I’ve finally made it in life. I reached 10,000 views on my blog! My mom is probably responsible for about 8,000 views, but still, what an awesome milestone! I was going to do a giveaway, where you guys would have to answer some weird question and whoever gave the best answer would get an awful Canadian souvenir. But I decided against it. Instead, I’m going to share 10,000 10 facts about myself that you hopefully don’t already know. Here it goes!

1. I was born with only one kidney. Well, I was born with one enlarged kidney, and one mini, deformed one. I had to get an operation when I was 3 to connect both ureters to my big kidney ( I think). Being deformed internally is awesome. You get all the attention and unqiue-ness of having something wrong with you, but you also look normal. That sounds terrible. I admit that it must have been the scariest thing ever for my parents when they had to send their child into surgery. I never want to experience that. But hey, if I’m able to joke about it, then everything worked out alright.

2. I performed in the Sydney Opera House with my choir. I love singing. It’s one of those great things that anyone can do if they practice hard enough. I mean, obviously some people are better than others, but anyone could do it if they really wanted to! Unless they’re mute. Then that would be tough. Singing in Sydney was amazing, but practicing 4 hours every day made me want to shoot myself in the face. I need to go back to Sydney to really enjoy it, because I didn’t have enough time. I would post a picture of me standing in front of the Opera House or petting a kangaroo, but I just look so bad in all of them. I was 18 and hadn’t discovered makeup or mirrors apparently.

3. I bite my nails. It’s disgusting. I have really small nail-beds to begin with, so even if my nails have been growing for months, they still look short. Such a curse. Not only do I bite my nails, but I also swallow my nails. That’s right, I eat my nails. Sick, I know. It’s such a bad habit that I can’t lose. I’ve tried growing them out so many times. One time I lived solely on a diet of gummy candies and the gelatin in them must have done something to my nails because they grew so long and super thick. It looked like I was wearing acrylics. I need to try that diet again.

4. I don’t drink. When I was studying in England I drank but only because there’s not much else to do there. I don’t like alcohol with food. I definitely don’t like the taste of it unless the alcohol itself is undetectable. I have my memories of getting schwasted, and I certainly had a lot of fun, but I think I’ve out-grown that now.

5. I wrote in a journal every day during high school. Looking back, they’re the most embarrassing things ever…I had to dispose of a couple. Journaling is really therapeutic. Maybe that’s why I come on here.

6. There was a period in my life where I ran for an hour and ate under 1000 calories every day. It only lasted a year, because really, who can do that for so long? It will catch up with you. It started small, just by eating healthy and exercising, but then it turned into “how far can I push my body?”, “how much weight can I lose?” I didn’t do it out of depression–more out of boredom. I went to college in Utah for 1 and 1/2 years, came home, went to community college, and was bored. Good to know that I can really buckle down and lose a lot of weight if I want to, but I think I’m fine how I am now.

7. I’m an anti-feminist. I wouldn’t mind if men were in charge of everything. I would much prefer having babies, cleaning, cooking, and staying at home than working. I would be fine if women weren’t allowed to vote, compete in the olympics, or run for president. Is that weird? Yes. I mean, I think its awesome that women have done so many great things and fought for their freedoms, but they’re just making life harder for us.

8. I like to bake, but I’m still learning to cook. Cooking is so hard, guys. Why didn’t I ever learn this important skill? It’s hard to mess up baking because the recipes are so exact. It’s almost fool proof. Unless you leave something in the oven for too long and it burns. I’m guilty of that. There’s more experimenting and guessing in cooking…and that scares me.

9. I love nostalgia. I am constantly watching old 90’s shows on youtube and playing video games that I had in 4th grade. It feels good to go back to a simpler time; When I only had to worry about beating a level in Mario 64, and not about the bills. Okay, lets be serious, I still don’t worry about the bills.

10. Freak shows intrigue me like none other. By “freak shows” I mean anything on TLC basically. Hoarders, the Tree Man, bearded ladies, The Elephant Man, Simon Birch, siamese twins, etc. I know I seem like the worst person, but I don’t watch to make fun of them. I’m just so fascinated that people live their lives with such crazy outward appearances. They definitely humble me and make me realize how lucky I am. I have to admit that they’re captivating.

Whew! That was actually more difficult than I thought it would be. Who knew talking about myself would be so exhausting?!?!