When I really look forward to a movie, I’ll build it up in my mind, imagining a perfect show. Les Miserables gave me great expectations. With an all-star cast, great songs, and Anne Hathaway in tears, how could this movie not be amazing? And for the most part, it was really good. There were just a few things that my mind had trouble getting past. I concentrated so much on these minor movie details that these are now my only memories of the film.
Eponine’s Waist. An important character in the story is Eponine, a girl in love with a guy who doesn’t really notice her. She sings one of the best songs in the entire movie, so props to her. The thing is, I don’t even know what her face looked like because I couldn’t see anything past her belted mannequin-esque wasit. It’s not even that she looked unhealthy, it’s just that her waist is abnormally tiny. She should’ve composed a song about her body structure rather than her crush.
Cockney Accents. Okay, I know that the film is spoken (or sang) in English and most of the characters have British accents because we’re used to it. They do this with most period pieces even if they don’t take place in England. But some of the characters in the film tried to do a French accent (snaps for Sacha Baron Cohen!) and it’s confusing because most of the characters had proper British and even cockney accents! I don’t remember any Cockneys in early 19th century Paris. If all of the actors in the movie are as great as we accredit them to be, then shouldn’t they be able to do a French accent as well as sing?
Helena Bonham Carter is Type-Cast as Dirty. At this point, I cannot name a movie where Helena Bonham Carter isn’t unkempt in one way or another. Even on the red carpet it looks like she might have yesterday’s makeup on or something. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of HBC and I think she has mad skills. I have to applaud her for her recent love of singing what with Sweeney Todd and now Les Mis. But I wish she would class up her act and stop being so grungy.
Amanda Seyfried has the Voice of an Angel. I actually don’t care for Amanda Seyfried that much–I don’t care for any actress that takes off their clothes for a role. I mean, to each his own, but seriously, just no. I hate most actresses, is what I’m trying to say. Anyway, in the movie, Ms. Seyfried’s character Cosette not only gets to marry the hottie Marius (Eddie Redmayne), but she also has a voice that makes me hate her. If I could sing like that I would sing lullabies to myself. Although in high school, my choir teacher gave me a trophy and said I had the voice of an angel. I was an angel who couldn’t read sheet music and had to listen to the other people singing around me and copy them. So angelic.
Russel Crowe = Snoozefest. I forgot how boring the part of Javert could be before I saw Russel Crowe act it out on the big screen. Javert is the antagonist to Jean Valjean’s (Hugh Jackman) protagonist. Javert just wants to serve the law and make sure everyone is punished for their crimes. He manages to sing about this over and over and it’s like, DUDE WE GET IT. Another thing that bugged me were the locations that he chose to vocalize his thoughts. He would randomly sing on the top of buildings, the ledges of bridges, and in alleyways. Figure your life out, Javert.
In my head, this is the entire movie/musical summed up. I urge you to see the movie and test yourself to look past these details. Lets compare notes–which were your most memorable scenes/characters/events?