My Trip to Bermuda

I think it’s obvious by now that I like to go on trips and see places that I’ve never been to before.  In 2009 my mom and I wanted to go on spring break somewhere besides our go-to spot in Orlando. So we chose Bermuda.

It was easier for both of us to just meet there instead of me flying home ( I was in England at the time). It was nice because the location of Bermuda was right in the middle. Just kidding. I looked at a map just now and its not in the middle at all. It’s much closer to the US. And its along the same line as South Carolina. And on the other side of the pond, it would be level with Morocco.

Flying there, I was super paranoid that something bad would happen as we entered the Bermuda Triangle. This old lady on the plane next to me said that she went there 3 times a year and survived every time so I figured everything would be alright. God wouldn’t let that lady survive all those times and let me die on my first visit, right?

I survived and met my mom at our hotel. The rooms were separated into little villa-type things. Ours was called The Sea Grape. I didn’t even know sea grapes were a real thing, but apparently they are. One memorable aspect of Bermuda was that there were tons of cats. We had a regular cat that would stop by our room every night, eat some of my shrimp cocktail, and then sit on my bed. One night we had at least four cats outside our place.

Ignore my hair and my body and everything else in this picture besides the cat.

The weather was nice and sunny while we were there but it wasn’t as warm as we had been expecting. It was kind of a let down. Leave it to me to complain about a vacation.

We went into the main drag in town and that was fun because we felt like locals. Or at least I did. The capital of Bermuda is Hamilton which is also the name that I gave one of the cats that decided to live with us.

Bermuda is kind of like Canada in that they have their own currency but they’ll accept US bills as well. They’ll just take whatever they can get, really. Which I respect. That’s what I would do.

My very beachy all black apparel.

While we were there we went to the Crystal Caves which were just Carlsbad Cavern-esque caves with stalactites and stalagmites. I’ve seen both many times and I still can’t tell the difference. I remember our tour guide being slightly in love with me though. But really, who isn’t?

Then we went back to our place and decided that Bermuda was kind of lame and didn’t have that much to do so we booked a flight to Orlando. Seriously.

I Am The Cat Whisperer

Recently, not one, but two people have asked me to watch their cats. I have an undeniable gift of making cats love me. People trust me with their cats because I’m basically a cat myself.

Whenever Paul and I walk through our neighborhood and pass a house with a cat in the yard, I bend down a coax the cat over to me. Sometimes Paul will lose faith and say “Oh, he wont come” but they always do! Cats always like a good rub. If you are willing to give them a good rub, they will love you.

Cats aren’t as talented with vocabulary as dogs are. They don’t recognize too many words and most of them scare easily. So if I see a cat, I’ll slow my roll, squat down, and say “Come here kitty kitty” in a really high pitched voice. This always works for me for some reason. I think cats prefer higher pitched noises. Take it from me, I’m the cat whisperer.

One time I met a cat in my neighborhood and I gave him a nice long rub. He rolled onto his belly on the sidewalk–it was pretty obvious that he was having an amazing time. When I was done massaging him I said “Okay bye” and started walking. He followed me for 3 blocks. I was like, “Umm okay BYE.” But there was no arguing with him. I gave him the most rubs ever. He finally stopped following me once he knew I wasn’t going to turn around again. So greedy!

I can easily relate to cats. I like to sleep. A lot. I like to eat. I don’t like getting wet. I judge people. I like when people do things for me. I like being pampered and getting massages. My Chinese Zodiac sign is the rabbit, but in Vietnamese is translates to cat. What I’m trying to say is that I’m basically a cat in a woman’s body.

Current Events

When my brother and I roamed around Las Vegas:

Me, at my friend’s wedding:

When my dad treated me to a new dress or two or three:

When my mom gets excited to go to the beach:

Whenever people suggest we go out for Tapas:

Whenever people ask me for relationship advice:

Waiting for a package from my mom:

When I wouldn’t stop singing that stupid song from Les Miserables:

If someone says “Hey, we should hang out some time!”:

Going back to work after my vacations:

After 30 minutes of being at work:

Dear Lana Del Rey Why Are You So Coolio?

After hearing the song, Video Games, by Miss Del Rey, I couldn’t help the urge to become obsessed with her. I went through the same kind of thing with Gaga, but she literally wore a dress made of meat, and after that point I really couldn’t deal. Let’s delve into some reasons why I love her. Hopefully this will make up for the post where I made fun of Adele and everyone hated me for like 5 minutes.

Lana Del Rey is a cool name, right? Yeah, too bad it’s not her real name. We can’t all be blessed with awesome names like mine. Lana’s real name is Elizabeth Woolridge Grant so can anyone really blame her for changing it? No. We support you Lana/Elizabeth. Although I would have made the ‘D’ in Del Rey lower case, but whatever.

Lana has some really crazy fingernails. I have to applaud her for never poking her eye out with one of those bad boys. They’re so long and pointy. Does she bleed every time she scratches herself? She must. What a brave soul. Inflicting pain on herself just to be cool and different. That’s probably something I would do. Beauty is pain after all.

Wowza.

Lana’s song Video Games is awesome. It’s so different from anything I’ve heard lately. Her voice is gravel-y, yet controlled and smooth. A walking contradiction, she is. The music video is self-made and pretty bomb. Other songs of hers that I enjoy are Born To Die and Blue Jeans. Here are some Born To Die lyrics:

“Don’t make me sad, don’t make me cry,

Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough,

I don’t know why…

…Choose your last words,

This is the last time,

Cause you and I, we were born to die.”

Mmm I love those lines. I mean, we’re all going to die eventually, so good for Lana for figuring out a way for everyone in the world to relate to her song.

There have been a lot of bad reviews on her Born To Die album though. Which is weird. In fact, there’s an online article with every awful thing that different magazines have said about her. Here’s an example:

Yowch. But like, does anyone even read the Los Angeles Times? Does anyone even live in Los Angeles? Plus, I think recording an album in an underwater cathedral would be an amazing feat. So, she should take that as a compliment.

Also, her song Video Games was parodied to perfection into a song about The Hunger Games, appropriately titled, Hunger Games. Listen, if you don’t like Lana by now, here’s a picture of her holding a cat. Cat’s are awesome.

But you're like really pretty, Lana Del Rey.

My Furry Friends

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been slightly branching off of Canadian topics. I will always be Lily In Canada, but I feel like I’m struggling to think of Canadianisms to write about daily. If something particular to Canada begs to be written about, I’ll write about it. But for now, I’m going to focus on whatever I like.

Our apartment in Victoria doesn’t allow pets (or real christmas trees!). They basically don’t allow happiness. Although the woman who lives down the hall from us breaks this rule since she’s half-woman half-beast. I’m almost certain that she’s Sasquatch. I would love to have a companion, but I don’t want to be kicked out of our apartment and living on the street. I always hate when I see homeless people with animals. What makes them think, “Hey, I’m responsible, I should be a pet owner!” ?

I have been wanting a pet for a while now. Someone told me that I was “nesting”. Apparently, wanting to own an animal means that I want to have children. Let me just say, that when you get to the point in your life when people immediately guess that your sickness is pregnancy, it’s depressing. I am never speaking of nausea ever again.

My family’s cat, Cozy, is about 16 years old. She’s gettin’ up there! She used to be so spry and energetic. Now she’s just sleepy and, well, cozy. We got her and another cat, Bopo, on the same day. One for me, and one for my brother. And two for my mom to take care of! We rescued them from a trailer park. They were literally trailer trash. Cozy is going to give me glares for writing this about her. In her youth, she was one of the best hunters around. We had so many rodents as presents from her–birds, squirrels, FLYING squirrels, rabbits, chipmunks, mice–you name it, Cozy got it. Bopo, pronounced bop-o, was the sweetest animal to ever live. We reside on a busy road, and one day Bopo chased an animal into the road. He lived a short life, but a good one. Bopo will be forever missed.

I told Cozy to look cute. She went for the kill-me-now look.

We had another cat, Kendall, who was old and crabby all the time. We had him since I was 2. He died about 2 years ago. Whadda trooper.

The member of our family that has been the most missed is definitely our dog, Truman. He was one of the finest dogs around. I mean, he humped people a lot. He woke the neighbors up with his barking all the time. He ran away once or twice. He growled at me at night. But he was so smart. He knew so many words and all of our names. When we were gone, he would miss us. If I said, “Hey, where’s mom?” he would look for her. Even though he was a silly old dog, he was a great friend.

In his favorite spot.

He also liked to eat. A lot.

Slightly chunky.

 

Kitty Catz

"I've been waiting for you, Lily"--scary cat

Sometimes I like to go for walks to the beach. It’s nice because the ocean is only about 10 blocks from my place. The thing is, between me and the ocean are about a hundred cats.

You’ve probably figured out from previous posts that I am an animal lover, but its getting to the point where I am trying to avoid these beasts. One time when I was on my way home, a huge orange cat trotted out into the middle of the sidewalk and stopped me in my path. I went to pet him and he instantly melted to the ground. I pet him for a good 3 minutes before I decided that people were starring so I started walking away. He followed. “Ugh okay one last pet. BYE.” He kept following. I decided to just look straight forward and pretend he wasn’t there. He followed me for 3 blocks and then got bored. I felt like the pied piper of cats. Except that I only had one cat following me and it was scary.

Another time I saw a cat walking around in a fenced in yard. I smiled at him. And then, he sat down and started pooping. HE STARTED POOPING. I had never seen a cat poop before. Most people haven’t. They’re usually such private creatures. In fact, if someone told me, “Oh, cats don’t poop” I would have believed them. Who knew they sit down to poop? I mean, it makes sense, but it was just so weird. I felt like crying. Such a rare occurrence and no one to share it with. I looked around with a is-anyone-else-seeing-this? look. As per usual no one cared.

Lastly I saw a cat sitting at the top of a porch. It kind of looked like he was on a throne. I looked and him and walked away. When I came back, he was on the sidewalk waiting for me. I gave him a nice rub, and right as I was pulling my hand away he reached up, batted my hand, and scratched it. He was basically was a spoiled royal cat who commanded attention and told you when it was okay to stop rubbing (never). I probably have rabies now.

Fall Favo(u)rites

This is going to be a seasonal break from my posts aboot Canada to talk about some of my favorite things in fall. Lets get started, shall we?

1. “Someone Like You” by Adele. Such a good song. I listen to it at least once a day. I think my neighbors are starting to get creeped/going to kill me. The song’s lyrics are kind of weird, “Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you.” Like, you’re really awesome and I love you but you don’t love me, so I’ll settle for someone like you, but they won’t be as good as you. Hmm that’s a pretty bad sitch. I’m still not convinced that Adele isn’t singing about Nutella though.

2. Pizza. I got such a good deal on pizza at Costco (I know, I know. I shop there now). It was 4 pizzas for $12. I think they are meant for at least two people, but surprisingly, I am able to finish them off without any help.

3. My birthday. It was on October 5th and even though I am getting super old (24 blehh), it’s still really nice to have 100 notifications on facebook. I felt the love. And if you didn’t wish me happy birthday, you are officially dead to me.

Perfect. Purrfect.

4. Pictures of cats. Cats are so awesome. And pictures of cats dressed up or just being weird really make me happy. Cats always look like they hate the world and it never ceases to put a smile on my face.

5. “Big Wheels” by Down With Webster. I really just like this song for the music video. It’s got a video game theme and I am kind of obsessed with gaming. There is a scene in the video where the band is go-kart racing and they filmed it like Mario Kart. I really appreciated it.

6. The Pacific Ocean. I can walk to the beach from my apartment in about 15 minutes. Granted, its cold outside and the water is freezing, but its kind of a great luxury to live by the ocean and stare out into it’s vastness. Yes, I’m gay.

7. Tweeting. I know, I know! A little slow on the uptake. The word “tweeting” kind of makes me want to re-think my life, but there is something so great about being able to write a message to some of my favorite celebs in hopes that they might read it. It seems kind of vain at times, but hey, if you like listening to yourself talk (or reading your own words) then it’s definitely for you.

8. Animal Crossing. Okay this is a video game for Wii where you start a life in this town and you make friends and eventually establish yourself as a capable townsperson. I was explaining to Paul how its really cool because you have to work for this guy in the town in order to pay off your house. And Paul was like, “Oh that’s weird. I have to do that in real life.” No one understands me. I was really stressed in this game trying to make a living. How belittling.

9. Tumblr. You can use tumblr for lots of different things. Many people use it to blog or to post pictures that they have taken. I post pictures of things that I wish I had. It’s like a virtual scrapbook of dreams. Yes. And on that note, I am finished.