Spring Favorites

I used to have seasonal favorites segments on my blog, you know, my favorite things during that time in my life. But I stopped doing them for some reason. Maybe I stopped liking things. Regardless, I am back with new favorites and some shameless self-promotion. Whatevs.

1. Heart. As in Heart the band. My husband really likes Heart and I’d never really given them a chance so I always thought he was crazy. But I’ve been listening to them on repeat for 4 days and it’s starting to get weird. Like, I cannot stop. It’s unhealthy. I like blasting Alone in my room and pretending I’m some love-sick 80’s teenager.

2. Tumblr. If you’re bored and like looking at pictures of funny things, pretty models, and cool photography, you should check out my tumblr. I’d taken a long break from posting stuff on there but now I’m back into it and I’m lovin’ it! There is a link to it at the top of my blog where it says “My Links” or you can click HERE.

3. Candy Crush. I have a love/hate relationship with this Facebook game. It’s so addicting. I’m one of those people who will play every video game and computer game around. I love Facebook games and I’m not ashamed of it. I was a little late on the uptake with this one though. I thought I was over my love of gaming. Then, one rainy day I bought the App for my iPad and I haven’t looked back since.

4. My friend’s blog. I have a friend here who’s almost in an identical situation as me–stuck in Canada, missing the states, etc. Except she’s from San Diego so she really must be feeling the pain! Her recent blog post describes both of our feelings towards Canada very well–we shouldn’t be complaining…but we still manage to do so. If you wanna check it out click HERE.

5. Long walks. I’ve been going on hour long walk/runs lately and its been really refreshing. Maybe it’s because the weather has been so nice here and it feels like spring has finally sprung. My favorite places to walk are along the ocean and through parks. Very serene and peaceful.

6. Kidz Showz. If you haven’t visited my other blog that I share with Mooselicker, what are you waiting for?! It’s chock full of everyone’s favorite memories–children’s shows! I think everyone can bond over kid’s shows, whether you hate them or you love them or you love to hate them, they’re around and they’re not going anywhere. We talk about movies, TV shows, character studies, certain episodes–the topic is endless. If you are interested in guest posting, contact either Tim or myself and we will hook you up with the deets! There’s a link in “My Links” or you can click HERE.

What are some of your favorite things this Spring?

Barbies from Around the World…And Canada

Barbies are a symbol of perfection. Something that every little girl wants to grow up to be, and nothing that they will ever look like in a million years. The Barbie company (Is it Mattel? Do I care?) has many collections where they feature different clothes for Barbies, but they never give them different faces. What’s up with that? They change her skin color, but never her facial features. Can’t one have a lazy eye, or super flared nostrils or something? The reason we gave our Barbies bad haircuts was to balance out their beauty. You can’t have a good body, nice clothes, a solid career, a pretty face, AND perfect hair. Impossible.

For some reason, the people at Mattel think they know what women around the world look like. Their Dolls of the World collection highlights the cultural differences of women around the world. The dolls are dressed in costumes that showcase each nation’s traditional garb. This collection has been ongoing since the late 80’s. They come out with maybe one or two new national Barbies a year. (I kind of made that up. I have no idea what I’m talking about.)

Some examples of these beautiful creatures are:

Scotland Barbie. She looks like a typical lass. As you can tell, she can rock a ton of plaid. It’s kind of depressing that the makers chose to give her an oboe/clarinet/lame instrument instead of bagpipes. Also, she depicts the accurate amount of makeup that Scottish girls wear.

Spanish Barbie. This lovely lady is dressed in the beautiful clothes of a flamenco dancer/Satan. Her narrowed eyebrows show how women from Spain look when they judge other foreign women.

Philippines Barbie. Philippines Barbie is rare because she comes with her own passport and luggage. Probably because she wants to get out of the Philippines. 

Dutch Barbie. It’s nice that Mattel decided to go with wooden shoes (klompen) and hairbrush accessories instead of a reefer like modern day Dutch girls. As a child, she would’ve been my Barbie of choice because I was partial to Aryan looking dolls. Sorry I’m not sorry.

Greek Barbie. This is kind of misleading since there’s a picture of ancient Greek pottery on the front, you would think they would stick with that theme and dress Barbie in a toga. I have no idea what she’s wearing, but it looks like something Moroccan Barbie should be wearing. Also, this Barbie can’t be Greek since she doesn’t have a mustache.

Finally, through my searches I found Canadian Barbie. Since Canada has no rich history, they simply decided to dress her in a Mountie uniform and call it a day. I don’t know how many Canadian girls can relate to being a park ranger, oh wait, yes I do. None. Also, could they not give Canadian Barbie red hair AND a red uniform? So clashy. They should’ve made her a fur trapper and trader. Or Avril Lavigne.

Movin’ On Up

Ever since I moved here, Canada has really tried to step up their game for me. They’ve added H&M, Forever 21 (not that I shop there, it’s just comforting to know it’s around), and in Spring 2013 Target will finally arrive. How has Canada survived this whole time without Target, you ask? Well, they haven’t. No one takes them seriously as a country, but maybe with Target on the horizon, things will start to improve.

My little slice of Canada is slightly behind the times. Toronto’s Target is already open for business. And they also have rumors of getting a Nordstrom soon. Lucky bastards.

The first Target to open in Canada was the Guelph, Ontario location. The first customers to make purchases were two scruffy guys. They made a mockery of Target by purchasing things that no one would need to buy: a Michael Bolton CD and a Tarzan DVD. Yes, you read correctly.

Don’t get me wrong, Target is the place where bad purchases are born and where money vanishes from your account. I’ve walked into Target for a notebook and come out with shoes, a board game, gummy bears, 5 lb weights, and nail polish only to realize that I never got my notebook. So trust me, I KNOW.

These guys have made headlines: “Target’s first two customers shop ironically.” They probably thought they were being hilarious. This is super embarrassing for Canada. Do you see how cheesy people are here? I can’t deal. I for one, will treat my Target location with the respect it deserves.

At least I’ll be safe here if the US gets nuked. Bonus. Oh and I don’t  have to deal with pennies anymore. Silver lining.

A Canadian Chuckle

Star-Crossed Canadian Lovers

I don’t use the phrase “literally scarier than 9/11”  often, but the lead singer of Nickelback, Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne are engaged.

Don’t look for too long–you might turn into stone.

I didn’t even know this duo was dating. Mostly due to the fact that I like to pretend that Chad Kroeger doesn’t exist. Same with Avril’s teeth. Her fangs are crazier than any vampire’s. But I guess vampires are in right now?  Regardless, dating Chad Kroeger is NOT in. Getting engaged to him is social suicide.

This Canadian couple has me wondering if I made a mistake by entering their country of origin. I even called it my home once or twice! Can I take that back? Pretend it never happened?

I’ve heard that if you say the name Chad Kroeger 3 times in your bathroom with the lights turned off, Chad Kroeger actually appears and sings you an entire Nickelback album. Isn’t that horrifying? Like Bloody Mary but way worse.

I’m really depressed for Avril because I think she’s punishing herself. Think about it. She was dating Brody Jenner. And now she’s engaged to someone named Chad. She must have thought that she had to atone for Brody breaking up with her. This way she can serve the rest of her years knowing that she paid the price for letting Brody slip through her fingers.

She could’ve been engaged to this!

Is Chad Kroeger considered a Sk8er Boi? If so, how can we rid the world of all Sk8er Bois? Also, do you think Avril is going to wear a tie with her wedding dress a la her Complicated music video? What a style icon she was. Her taste in men also seems to be very complicated.

If you don’t catch my drift, basically what I’m trying to say is that both Avril and Chad are super gross, and scary. But seriously, I’m almost positive that this is one of the signs of the Apocalypse. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

A Hat Shaped Like Canada

Long day. This is all I got.

The Blame Game

There was some sad news this morning from Colorado. Twelve people died and fifty nine were wounded during a shooting spree in a movie theater. Being of a normal age to process this information, I was extremely saddened for those who died and their families. (I say, “Being of a normal age” because when I was younger, I wasn’t effected by the news of deaths, especially of those I didn’t know personally.)

Now that I reside in Canada, I’ve heard some opinions on last night’s events, but they were different from what I was expecting. Many people here blame the US for allowing our citizens to have guns. A few people have told me, “If your country made guns illegal, this wouldn’t have happened.”

I understand what people mean when they say things like this, but I have to disagree.

There are crazy people everywhere. Not just in the states–every country in the world has a percentage of mentally unstable people. We may not hear about crazy things they’ve done, and the percentage is most likely way smaller than those that reside in the US, but nevertheless, they are everywhere. Remember the massacre in Norway last year? And what about that guy in Canada who, just a couple of months ago, cut up some guy and mailed his body parts around? Yeah, because that’s totally normal.

I agree that without guns it’s harder to kill a mass amount of people. But these days people figure out how to use bombs and crash planes, and burn places to the ground. Psychopaths are narcissistic and want to hear their name in the news. They want to have people talking about them. Ex. Casey Anthony. They’ll find a way to kill a lot of people if they want to.

The reason we have guns is not to kill people and animals. It’s because our country gives us the right to keep and bear arms. This is part of our country’s history. Think back to when our constitution was formed. People needed guns. Every household had one because they needed to protect themselves and their children. Throughout the years, our country became more advanced and modern–the need for guns slowly disappeared. People still had them, sure. But they weren’t a necessity.

People are going to constantly ruin moments of comfort. The citizens of the US and Canada used to not need a passport to cross over the border between countries. Remember when there was barely any airport security? When I was in elementary school, I never had to do a lock-down drill in case a shooter came in. But now everything has changed. We have to be extra careful, extra prepared, and always be cautious of danger. It’s unfortunate, but that’s just the way it is.

Feel free to blame guns. But please don’t blame my country.

Eh! Oh, let’s go.

This hurts my eyes.

One of the Canadian stereotypes that is very prevalent is the use of ‘eh’. I notice it all the time and it takes every muscle and bone in my body to ignore it.

Lately though I’ve been hearing a difference in the phrase. Some people say ‘eh’ and some people say ‘hey’. They use it in the exact same manner as “eh” but it seems less Canadian. For example someone would say, “There’s a lot of moose out here, hey?” I don’t know what kind of trickery they are going for with that one, but I know that its the equivalent of saying ‘eh’. I do not approve.

The phrase ‘eh’ is basically a not-so-clever way to force people to agree with you. Just pop that on the end of a sentence, and people have to say “yeah, eh!” It’s like an unwritten rule. You could probably say really gutsy things and get away with it because it’s disguised with ‘eh’. You could say, “Your baby is pretty ugly, eh?” and the parent would most likely smile and say “Yep, she sure is!”

I’m all for getting people to agree with me but I feel like I’m past the point where I have to ask “right?” after everything I say. Certain east coast relatives of mine still feel the need to ask that after LITERALLY every sentence. It’s not attractive. After a while one is compelled to say “Nope. Wrong. Shuddup.” When a phrase urges the acknowledgement of comprehension, agreement, and interest, it just seems so forceful.

I am guilty of saying “ya know?” after a lot of my thoughts. But I feel like it gives people room to say, “No, I don’t know.” Whereas ‘eh’ just kind of leaves one unable to respond with anything other than “yeah.”

I’ve gotta hand it to Canadians. They’ve found a way for people to always agree with anything they say. It’s a good method for brainwashing.

Lumberjack Competition

What a manly sport.

I wish that I was making this up. Yesterday I was on my computer while Paul was looking at the different sports that were on  TV. I looked up from all of the super important stuff that I was doing and I glanced at the screen. I read Football, Soccer, Rugby, Soccer, Lumberjack Competition, Soccer. What. What. What is that.

We turned it on for a bit. Its basically Canadians, Australians and Kiwis putting nicks in wooden poles, inserting a plank into the groove they created, standing on the inserted plank, and repeating the process. As J’amie King would say, “It’s so random!” If you don’t know who that is, I suggest you watch Summer Heights High RIGHT NOW.

Ahhh this one has some quality background music.

I think Lumberjack Competitions are my new favorite “sport” to watch. It’s kind of like a Strong Man Competition without people named Magnus ver Magnusson. But it’s also kind of like that Ninja Warrior show because the competitors really have to possess a set of sweet skills. By the way, if you’ve never watched a Strong Man Competition or Ninja Warrior, what are you doing with your life?

In conclusion, the Lumberjack Competitish is a smart idea. I think it’s a great way to celebrate Canada’s roots and heritage. They should be proud of the one skill that they have been blessed with. As for the Australians and Kiwis–You’re better than that.

 

How approp. This is my life now guys.