Food, Judging

Creep Fest 2011

This is what I assume she looks like.

Paul and I live at the end of the hall in our apartment building. As we walk down the hall, the first door on the right houses the strangest woman ever. Maybe not ever, but she is super creepy and probably inbred. Not that I have ever gotten a good look at her in fear of turning into stone.

Firstly, her door is always open. I don’t mean this in a sweet, hospitable way. I mean that her door is literally always cracked open and she has a make-shift shower curtain up to block people from peaking in. A shower curtain. In her doorway. I guess that’s a thing now.

Secondly, she is always making some sort of food that smells like a rotting carcass. Maybe if she closed her door I wouldn’t have to gag and run for sanctuary in my place. My upstairs neighbor believes the crazy lady was cooking  cow tongue. I don’t know which is more revolting: the fact that she might have been eating tongue, or that fact that someone I consider a friend knows what cow tongue smells like. I’m currently re-evaluating our friendship.

Lastly, this same friend  has talked to the crazy shower curtain lady and apparently she showed him her butt. Lovely. I mean, I guess I’m kind of jealous. And by jealous I mean that I want to throw up. He should probably wash his eyes out with vodka.


Canadian Apts…I mean, whats up with that?

This is seriously where I live guys. Step into my world. Try not to be too envious of my extravagant life style. Someone count how many times I said “pretty much” or “pretty cool” . Winner gets to live with me for a week.

Edit: When I refer to it as “my place” I mean that I haven’t played ANY part whatsoever in paying the bills. I am only referring to the fact that I live there. It is basically Paul’s place, and I am his pet.

Another edit: I guess I only say “pretty cool” like once. IT FELT LIKE A LOT.