Unpopular Opinions

My blog is littered with unpopular opinions. Most of them being my own. These bring anger to many people so I’ll do a pre-apology before this list. I’m sorry, this is just the way I feel. Please don’t hate me for having my own, weird opinions.

1. I don’t like Citizen Kane, The Godfather, or The Deer Hunter.  I will admit that these classic movies include some great scenes, but overall, I’d rather clean my house a hundred times over before I watch those 3 again. The wedding scenes? They’re as long as actual weddings! Rosebud? Gimme a break.

2. I don’t like flat sheets. God bless my poor husband who has to sleep without a top sheet every night. I’m sorry but why would I want a twisted, loose sheet all up in my slumber zone? It gets in the way of the warm blanket. It also gets in the way of my life and I hate it.

3. I’m kind of getting tired of Jennifer Lawrence.

4. I don’t care if you’re a woman that stays at home and takes care of your children, or a woman who climbs the corporate ladder, just don’t talk to me about how hard females have it. Girls rule the world, right?

5. I have a deep hatred for cheese. The only exception for me is pizza (obvs).

6. I can’t have a deep relationship with people who don’t love animals.

7. I don’t like beer, or drinking for that matter.

8. I don’t understand the appeal of country music. Something about the twang in the vocals freaks me out.

9. Brightly painted walls make me uncomfortable. I can’t feel settled in a room if the walls are tomato red or dark purple.

10. I really don’t like drawstrings. I like streamlined clothes and drawstrings just seem sloppy.

11. Ryan Gosling is not cute. He looks like a rat.

Do you have any unpopular opinions?

Love Your Fellow Beast

In recent Canadian news, two young brothers (ages 5 and 7) were strangled to death by a python that found it’s way into their home through ventilation shafts of a reptile pet store next door. The store owned many animals illegally, and the breed of python (African Rock) that killed the children was not on the radar of the specialists who moderate the sales of exotic pets. It was unknown that Reptile Ocean (the store) had this type of animal in their company.

It’s sad when animals make a bad name for themselves by simply living their lives. I know that people will look at snakes in a negative light after this tragedy. If they didn’t already. I mean, they’ve pretty much had a rough time ever since Satan appeared as one. Imagine Satan appearing a panda bear or something. Life would be so different. And hell would be such a cuddly place. I digress…

Take Steve Irwin’s death. He was a lover of life–all forms of life. He died doing something that he loved. However, there was a lot of hate being put on sting rays. The sting ray was just chillin’ and got scared by Steve’s crazy nature and accidentally stung him in the heart. HIS BAD. You shouldn’t hate sting rays because of it. I have spent many a vacation petting the rubbery, floppy skin of rays, and let me tell you, they are the happiest creatures ever. So loving. I know it sounds crazy, but I love me some sting rays. Also, I know for a fact that Steve Irwin would never want people to hate on rays.

The point I’m trying to make is that it’s not fair to hate on creatures who kill humans. Animals aren’t malicious. They’re innocent and trying to survive. So many animals get caught off guard or scared and end up attacking people when they’re only trying to protect themselves. Some animals just want to eat you. Some want to protect they’re young. That doesn’t mean that you should hate an entire species because they’re wild and undomesticated.

No, I don’t hate the snake that killed those two boys. I’m sad that the boys died, yes. Totally. I’m sad that exotic animals are being pulled from their normal habitats and sitting in pet shops in New Brunswick, Canada too. Next time you’re ready to judge an animal that maims a human, make sure you take into account of why that animal acted that way. Was it trained to attack? Was it scared? Was it outside of it’s natural habitat? There are plenty of reasons why animals hurt people–none of which they should be blamed for.

I’d rather see an animal hurt a human than a human hurt an animal.

I Am The Cat Whisperer

Recently, not one, but two people have asked me to watch their cats. I have an undeniable gift of making cats love me. People trust me with their cats because I’m basically a cat myself.

Whenever Paul and I walk through our neighborhood and pass a house with a cat in the yard, I bend down a coax the cat over to me. Sometimes Paul will lose faith and say “Oh, he wont come” but they always do! Cats always like a good rub. If you are willing to give them a good rub, they will love you.

Cats aren’t as talented with vocabulary as dogs are. They don’t recognize too many words and most of them scare easily. So if I see a cat, I’ll slow my roll, squat down, and say “Come here kitty kitty” in a really high pitched voice. This always works for me for some reason. I think cats prefer higher pitched noises. Take it from me, I’m the cat whisperer.

One time I met a cat in my neighborhood and I gave him a nice long rub. He rolled onto his belly on the sidewalk–it was pretty obvious that he was having an amazing time. When I was done massaging him I said “Okay bye” and started walking. He followed me for 3 blocks. I was like, “Umm okay BYE.” But there was no arguing with him. I gave him the most rubs ever. He finally stopped following me once he knew I wasn’t going to turn around again. So greedy!

I can easily relate to cats. I like to sleep. A lot. I like to eat. I don’t like getting wet. I judge people. I like when people do things for me. I like being pampered and getting massages. My Chinese Zodiac sign is the rabbit, but in Vietnamese is translates to cat. What I’m trying to say is that I’m basically a cat in a woman’s body.

Animals That Don’t Get Enough Street Cred

I’m always keeping animal’s best interests at hand. Well, not always. One time my dog bit me and then I bit him back, but like, he started it so, I don’t really know what he expected. DO NOT CROSS ME.

Today I want to take a deeper look at the animals that are under appreciated and overlooked. These animals deserve more credit. More street cred, if you will. Even though most of these animals don’t know what streets are. Okay, none of them know what streets are.

Let’s start with peacocks. Peacocks are frickin sweet. They’ve been around forever, so maybe we aren’t as impressed by their beauty for that reason. There’s a petting zoo nearby my house here in Victoria. Like all good zoos, there are peacocks strutting around aimlessly. Often times, they escape and chill in the park outside of the petting zoo’s gates. So badass. I’m always amazed at the small reaction that peacocks get. Like, people should be freaking out that these beautiful birds are walking among us. Their feathers are iridescent for crying out loud! I’m lucky enough to have seen the rare albino peacock that resides in my little corner of Canada. Maybe because I appreciate them so much?

The pistol shrimp. Have you ever heard of this guy? Probably not because I have to teach you guys everything. The pistol shrimp has been perfectly named. Watch this video and be amazed.

Snakes in general need more street cred. They literally have no arms or legs and society lives in fear of them. If I saw a human with no appendages, I would stare, sure. But I definitely wouldn’t be scared. Like, what are they gonna do? Wink at me? Frightening. Yet snakes are in this same situation and are huge predators! Serious snaps for snakes.

Narwhals are the closest thing we have to unicorns…I mean, besides horses. Narwhals deserve some credit because they live in frigid temperatures and rarely complain about it. And they also have like, a built in sword for fighting other narwhals and for charging in battle.

Tally ho, gents.

Consider the lemming–they look like chipmunks/hamsters. There’s a misconception that lemmings commit a mass suicide during their migratory season. Even though that would be rad, it’s not true. Lemmings just have crazy urges to jump in water. They’re actually perfectly good swimmers, but they usually jump in too much water, making it unable for them to swim out successfully. I think lemmings could conquer the world. They have good self esteem and they believe they can accomplish whatever they set their minds to. They just need to stop jumping into water and accidentally killing themselves.

Koala bears are animals after my own heart. They sleep between 16 and 20 hours a day. Just living the dream.

Catchin some zzz’s for a quick 20 hours.

Fear Not

I feel very comfortable around animals. All animals. I trust that they won’t bit me or kill me. I might be a little too trusting. Most people believe that animals are purely instinctual and will act out against an unfamiliar person. I think that animals can sense danger and because they have so much instinct, they can sense when someone also means them no harm. LIKE ME!

Ultimate dream.

People blame animals a lot for their own missteps. It’s easy to startle them–especially animals that reside in their natural habitat. I think Steve Irwin is a good example of this behavior. He truly had a love of animals and trusted that they wouldn’t hurt him. Most people think he’s stupid, and while I will admit that he looked kind of stupid, he also had a lot of faith that he wouldn’t get hurt. That’s where the surprise factor comes in. I honestly don’t think stingrays sting people for fun, I think that he startled one and it attacked out of instinct. Steve Irwin wouldn’t want anyone to hate stingrays because they killed him. He probably loves them just as much as he did when he was alive. They have stingrays in heaven, right? At least now Bindi has a chance to shine.

Working her way up to stingrays.

Bethany Hamilton is another good example of the same kind of situation. Except she’s alive, but only has one arm because of a shark attack. If there’s one thing we can learn, it’s that sharks are total douches. I’ve never wanted to test my theory of animals loving me on sharks because it’s too much of a risk. Sharks can’t see that well. So they think anything that moves is a seal. Such good logic. I’ve swam with nurse sharks before. You only live once, right? Recently there was a test performed using a bunch of bikini-clad girls that swam with sharks during feeding time. Nothing happened to them. Maybe sharks don’t like sluts? Hah I’m just bitter because I look gross in a bikini. JK I don’t, but I thought that would make all of you feel like I was a little more human.

Bethany still surfs everyday even though she only has one arm. She was on The Biggest Loser a couple weeks ago when they all went to Hawaii (unfair). She taught everyone how to surf and she didn’t even seem that upset about her arm. And I definitely don’t think she hates sharks.

Siegfried and Roy have a similar story. I kind of hate these guys. Apparently the Siberian tigers that they trained were like their bffs. I have trouble believing that because I’m pretty sure that tigers don’t like Germans. Anyway, one day someone took a picture with an extremely bright flash, setting one of the tigers off. The tiger attacked Roy, but didn’t kill him. This shows that animals should not be taken out of their natural habitat. I’m sure they had a relationship with their trainers and trusted them as well, but once that instinct kicks in, there’s really no hope when it’s man vs. beast.

Epitome of sexy.

One of my favorite stories invovles a lion named Christian. This story only proves my theory of wild animals being able to sense the good in people. If you haven’t seen the video, watch it now. I seriously want a lion best friend because of this clip. If you don’t get shivers from this, you clearly have no soul and you’re not allowed to read my blog anymore.